For those of you who have had to put a pet to sleep, were you in the room when it happened?

It’s a very personal choice.

When Bub got into a fight with another dog, it resulted in an infection which took away most of his muscle mass. Three days after the fight he couldn’t lift his own head to drink water.

Bub had been my husband’s best friend for the 13 years of his canine life, and we wouldn’t have dreamed of letting him pass alone. It was a heartbreaking moment, but as he was getting the shot Jason said “I love you, Old Man.”
Bub’s body couldn’t move much, but he did inch just a bit closer and looked him in the eye before his heart stopped. I think that last “I love you” was so important – more for Jason than for Bub.

Always.
In the last 4 years I have put down my old granny goose, one elderly cat and another that had an incurable disease. I have home euthanasia through a ranch vet I use and am present with my pets through all the final stages of such. They are also all buried at home.

Being present with our dying pets ( or people ) is the greatest gift we can give them, passing as peacefully as possible in the comfort of their own home being held and comforted in the arms of their owners.
I have also had several horses put down and assisted friends in the passing of their beloved horses. The last was an all night vigil in a friends pasture, staying with her gelding all night next to his pre-dug grave. Horses are very hard, it is never pleasant to see your beloved horse rolled into a grave by a tractor.

It takes a lot of special planning with horses, as getting a dead horse out of a barn is no easy feat. Aaaah…writing this is killing me. :-(

Should I feel guilty if I’m not in the room? Seeing someone (something) die before my eyes brings back seeing my Mom die before my eyes. I can’t do it.

The vet said that it is more for us then them (us being present), anyway.

It’s hard, and it’s understandable you don’t feel you can do it.

I was with my kitty when we had to put her down this past summer. It was….really hard to watch. But she had been by my side through so much hard stuff and it only felt right.

I have always done it when it had to be done. It is not pleasant but you should. Just hold him so he knows you are there. I think I would regret it if I did not. I know my wife has in the past.

You need to do what you need to do, but not being there may haunt you.

He will definitely feel better knowing that you are there.

I was unable to force myself to go. TT

I wasnt able to be in the room. I think it would have been way to hard on me to watch something like that. It was hard enough saying goodbye and having the vet take her through those dreaded doors. Couldnt imagine what it would be like actually watching her die.

I’ve decided (for now) that I will say my goodbyes in the waiting room. He will be sedated (I asked for him to be as he will be aggitated), and my partner will carry him in and hold him.

The last time I went through this, the vet did something I really appreciated. He gave our cat a general anesthetic that knocked him out, then brought him out, laid him on a table, and left us alone with him until we were ready. Then we called him back in, and he gave the injection.

This was a good compromise, I thought. It was less abrupt, and that eased the shock.

For what it’s worth, I think that being there, as painful as that is, expedites the grieving process.

I’m really sorry!

Once I had kids, my “dog = my baby” mentality changed. So I thought I would be strong enough to handle being there with my dog in my arms when we had to put her down. How wrong I was. I completely fell apart. Completely. I wouldn’t recommend it.

While I certainly understand the hard emotions involved, still…I think it is important to remember that this final act of compassion is about the animal not the human. I do not agree with the vet that said it is more for the person rather than the animal. It is ALL about the animal.
Would you want your loved ones to abandon you in your final hour because it was too hard for them to deal with being by your side at the end?

If ever there is a time to set aside ones own issues it would be a time like this where you sacrifice your own feelings for the sake of another creatures need.
Death to a suffering being is a beautiful release. My vet told me at the last euthanasia of my F.I.P. kitty last year that he was “ready to go.” I am proud I was able to assist him in his final minutes, comfortably resting on my bed and being stroked by familiar hands and talked to in a familiar voice.

@Coloma The dog is going to be out of it (highly sedated).

@Mama_Cakes Of course. Once the initial sedation has taken place the rest follows easily. Still though, they can often hear your voice and feel your touch during this time even if if they appear unresponsive, according to my vet who specializes in home hospice care.

If you are able, I would suggest as @thorninmud wrote, that you might be there when he is sedated. That will be the last he will be aware and you will be with him. Let your partner take him in for the final shot.
I’m so sorry that you are losing your dear friend.

Okay, I can handle the sedation part. Not the final shot.

I haven’t had to do it in many years, so as a teen I opted not to be. When faced with that choice in the future, I honestly can’t say what I’ll do. I have come more to terms with mortality than in my early adulthood, but being present at the moment of death is still very ominous to me – even with a beloved human I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do it.

The last pet I had put down was the “love of my life.” And yes, for him, I stayed in the room. He was 60 pounds at the time of his death (down from 80 in his prime). The vet placed a blanket on the floor and placed my sweetheart on it, started the IV drip and monitored the heart rate. I was rubbing his ears (and crying like a baby) as my vet and I told him what a good soul he was. It was all quick and peaceful. And he had been in so much pain, it was actually helpful for me to see how peacefully the end came.

I have had a few other pets put down, but often it was following an injury or a very sudden onset of illness, and I simply wanted to distance myself from the event. For this special dog, he had been by my side for so many years, I felt I owed him the comfort of my company in his final moments. Okay, I’m crying like a baby again.

Edited: And let me add my condolences at the loss of your dear pet. This is your personal choice, and it is neither wrong nor right.

I do not think it’s wrong if you believe you can’t handle it. I will say, though, that if you don’t stay with him, you may very well regret it. My mother took my dog in to be put down when I was 13. I knew my dog was terminally ill, but didn’t know Mom was planning to do it while I was at school, so that it would “be easier on me.” I’m actually still mad at her for that. I never got to say goodbye, and never got closure.

We recently had to have my grandmother’s cat put down, and she wanted me there with her because he was originally my cat. We cried buckets, and it sucked, but I needed that closure.

You have my sympathies honey, as I am considering whether or not it’s time to let my current dog go. It’s never easy to make that choice, and it’s certainly not easy to watch them slip away. But it seems to be better in the long run, personally, to be there in their final moments, instead of not.

Yes. Plus I think you should be present. Most dogs are fearful at the vet and your presence is calming to them. Might as well make Rudy’s last moment less unpleasant for him. Look at all he did for you.

I am so sorry to hear that you are facing this choice right now. I think you should be there if you believe you can handle it. Being there during initial sedation sounds like a very good idea.

I still regret not being there with my darling cat when she had to be put down (kidney failure from diabetes, of all things!) about 5 years ago. I had taken care of her in her final days at least. But I didn’t think I could handle it and I was already very emotionally fragile at the time. I also thought it might make me even more phobic about needles than I already was. It felt like a selfish decision at the time, and looking back, I still feel like it was. My dad held her as she received the shot and I will always be thankful for that. I hope she was reborn as a human, she definitely wanted to be one.

Sending love and healing thoughts your way, @Mama_Cakes .

What if I was in the room, but not holding him. People talk about their animal breathing their last breath in their arms. I don’t think that I could handle that.

FWIW: I took my mother-in-laws cowdog in when it was time and she and my wife stayed in the waiting room and had a good cry. She could not go in there and was so grateful that I was there for Hank.
We took him back to the farm that he had spent his whole life on and buried him there.
I am sorry that the end has come and am glad you have an understanding and helpful partner. Good luck to you

It’s tough to do. My g/f is a zoo keeper, currently working at a vet clinic. Very shortly after she started working there she took her long time cat in for a check up as she (the cat) had been acting weird lately. The cat turned out to have a gigantic inoperable tumor, and they suggested to put her down immediately. I left work to go there and be there with my g/f while they put her down…. it was one of the saddest events of my life and my g/f was wrecked by it for weeks.

That said, I think she feels better that she was there for her cat.

I was in the room when my dog was put to sleep and I really wish I hadn’t been. It was so hard looking in his eyes and watching it all happen. He was so sick and his circulation was so bad at that point that they had to give him a second injection. I felt so horrible that he was as sick as he was and he had to endure a second injection.

I don’t think you should feel guilty about not being there. Some people are able to handle seeing/experiencing different things than others.

Watching the falling leaves over my guys graves right now.

sigh, I have been there every time. I do not know if it helps the situation or stresses it out as I get highly emotional. But something tells me I need to be there and I can go on and on as to why, and maybe you have 1 or none or many reasons that something tells you, that you can’t do it.

I did it once and God willing, I’ll never do it again, @Mama_Cakes. I will never forget the look on my long time kitty cat friend’s face when the needle was pushed into his skin. He looked at me with a pleading look in his eyes like, “Hey, help me Mommy.” It kills me to this day to think about it. Never again.

I was there for my last dog. She was afraid to be anywhere without me. She really did just lie down and go to sleep. It wasn’t a bad experience, except I knew I’d never see her again.

@Mama_Cakes – I’m so very sorry you have to go through with this and I don’t think there is any “wrong” decision, but when my cat was dying, I was given the opportunity to stay with my cat “as long as I needed” in a separate room. I couldn’t go through with actually seeing the final injection. Just couldn’t. I don’t regret it. He was so ill when I was with him, I think he knew it was his final curtain call. I loved him right up until the end, and I’m sure he knows it. I tried to be brave as possible, but that was too much. It’s so hard, losing a companion/friend/family member. Good luck and be strong!

I was there when we had our beloved cat, “Iggy,” put down. It was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done. I can take comfort in knowing
that When he died, I was
there, holding him, petting him
as we gazed at each other. (It
sounds like we we lovers,
doesn’t it?) It was one of the
hardest thinga I’ve ever done,
it broke my heart. But I know
that I was there with him. It
will be difficult, and my heart
aches for you. But know that
you will always have the
knowledge that what you did was the best thing that could be done, and that he will always have a place in your hearts. I would not have chosen the role I had, it almost was too much for me and I would have gladly asked my husband to do it if he was not at work. I don’t think that you should beat yourself up over it. He knew how much you loved him.

@Mama_Cakes I have done it both ways. It doesn’t improve either way. It just is what it is. Don’t kick yourself however you do it. You gave them a great home for as long as you could. That’s what’s important.

We held them in our arms, each one in turn, except the last one; the shelter that had him (where he’d been sent as a captured stray by a well-meaning neighbor who thereby killed him) wouldn’t let us.

But I would not expect anyone to be present who didn’t feel up to it. It’s a very personal choice.

I think it’s wonderful that your partner is willing to be with Rudy till the end. And if the sedation shot is all that you feel you can handle, then so be it. There is no right ow wrong here. After that initial sedation shot, they’re basically out of it anyway.

This is what hapened with my favorite Callie who basically threw a clot and even tho I was in the Vet’s office with her 20 mins. later, the vet knew there was nothing to be done.

But she immediately sedated her to get her out of pain while she explained to me what was going on. So, even tho I was there with her when they gave her the final shot, I doubt she was aware of anything. And at least she was out of pain.

With all of my cats I’ve been there with them the whole time right to the end.

But with my last cat, 18 yrs. old, who developed a tumor under her tongue, I wasn’t able to be there. I had to leave her at the vets the night before since he did surgeries first thing in the morning.

I stayed with her as long as I could and then went home hoping that he could successfully remove the tumor. But when he called while he still had her on the table, he told me that the tumor was so deeply embedded that he’d have to amputate the tongue as well and that wouldn’t be any kind of life for a cat.

I knew immediately that he was right and I had to let her go. The vets office was abput an hour away I felt it made no sense to wake her up from sedation and then kill her just so I could say goodbye. That would just prolong her pain and made absolutely no sense. So I told him not to even wake her up but just to let her go peacefully.

Each person and pet is a unique set of circumstances and there are no hard and fast right and wrong. Do as much as you can and what is right for you and your partner. The important thing is that you were a great pet parent for Rudy all his life.

I found it a gift to see how peaceful a death could be – the last gift that Prince gave me. It did not intensify the pain at all. But as others have said, it is a very personal choice.

It is a hard thing to let go. I held one dying cat-child who was on an IV for nearly an hour in a room where I could have privacy to say goodbye but never called the vet in for the final goodnight. They finally came in and took her away because they needed the room. She may have been clinically dead all the time I was there for all I could tell.

Another who was very ill, I kept her at home with me and she finally died on my bed. I wrapped her up in a white cloth and a friend brought some white roses. We took her corpse to the vet’s to get her cremated and get the ashes back.

I remember my father who accidentally hit our very old dog when he pulled into the garage. The 18-year-old terrier had been put in the garage for the day because he was so ill he could not control himself at all in the house. We called the vet who came to the house and put him to sleep. He asked if my father would like to hold him and my father was so upset that he declined. My mother did. And my father felt terrible for a long time afterwards.

I have also gone with a friend who had to put his cat down. I knew the cat, too. My friend held his cat and I stayed in the corner of the room, just there for moral support and to say goodbye.

Never easy.

I was sitting on the floor with her head in my lap.

I personally think that vet is full of it. Does your dog not know if you are with it or not??? If you can’t do it then yes have your partner hold its paw until it’s gone. And I always pay the extra money to have the vet come to my home. I don’t want their last moments to be in the dreaded vet’s office.

No matter what you choose, make sure the vet tranquilizes the dog before administering the euthansia drugs. Some dogs have a god awful reaction and it is definitely not pleasant to see or for the dog. Vets argue about it sometimes but I tell them I am paying the damned bill and I want them tranquilized. I can’t figure why they argue, it is rare but when it happens it is so terrible you never forget it so it is worth it.

Here is a poem to help you through the day

May I go now?
> Don’t you think the time is right?
> May I say good-bye to pain filled days
> and endless lonely nights?
> I’ve lived my life and done my best,
> an example tried to be.
> So can I take that step beyond
> and set my spirit free?
> But something seems to draw me now
> to a warm and loving light.
> I want to go, I really do!
> It’s difficult to stay.
> But I will try as best I can
> to live just one more day.
> To give you time to care for me
> and share your love and fears;
> I know you’re sad and afraid,
> because I see your tears.
> I’ll not be far, I promise that,
> and hope you’ll always know
> That my spirit will be close to you
> wherever you may go.
> Thank you so for loving me,
> you know I love you too.
> That’s why it’s hard to say good-bye
> and end this life with you.
> So hold me now, just one more time
> and let me hear you say,
> Because you care so much for me,
> you’ll let me go today.
>

I have put all of my pets to sleep myself. My fondest wish is that they will die in their sleep, and they never do.

From the perspective of the vet’s office I can tell you:

*We feel very badly for the animals who do not have someone present – it seems horrible to spend those last few moments with strangers. We try to hold them and pet them as much as possible, but it’s just not the same.

*Alternatively, owners who lose their shit make things so much worse for the pet. I don’t begrudge anyone being torn up over what’s happening, but some people are so hysterical and so emotional that the pet becomes distressed and frightened, and that’s an awful thing to do to them. Owners who insist on being present who then wail and clutch at their pet make me want to slap them – it’s such incredibly selfish behavior.

Ultimately, make the choice that you’re comfortable with. If you don’t want the memory of you pet to be those last moments, or if you think you can’t emotionally handle it, ask about the process and make sure that you feel that the staff is compassionate and caring with your pet.

When I had to put down my baby boy, Mushroom, I could not be there. He was in so much pain at the time and his problem came on so quick that I was a mess and I just couldn’t see his life fade away right infront of me. C and I drove him to the vet, I gave him a final kiss and pet, but I stayed in the car and C took him in.

She said it was peaceful and she talked to him the whole time. She came back to the car and we hugged and cried for a bit.

I’m so sorry. We bring animals into our lives, love them with all our hearts knowing that one day they will be gone.

You gave another living creature a wonderful life. Love you.

I sat on the floor in the vet’s surgery and cradled my dog until she died, I will always remember how instantaneous it was, one minute she was alive and in a split second she was dead, it was a shocking experience but I could not have not been there.

I have always been there at the end and it has never been easy. As long as your dog has a familiar voice nearby, I think that is what is important. Only you know what you can handle and, for each of us, it is different. My heart goes out to you as you go through this as it is a significant loss . . .

I have always been there. My sweet dog Mags, still in my avatar, grinned until her eyes closed. If you are strong enough, they enjoy a friend closeby. wouldn’t we all?
I’m so sorry.

Our vet came out to the car where she was laying, in the back seat and gave her the dose. They just close their eyes and go to sleep. We took her right back home and laid her in the grave. It was a tough week.

When it was too painful for me to take it anymore I stopped being selfish and took our thirteen year old BC “Skye” in. This was a dog that we had gotten for my son when he was 12. He had raised her and she him. He was working at the time but his mom called him and told him I had taken Skye to the vet. Her passing was very peaceful and I think she appreciated an end to the pain.
I brough her home and began digging a grave for her under the tree where she used to lay. A short time later my son came to the house and joined me in the back yard; we took turns digging. Along the way we talked about Skye and how much she had meant to each of us and laughed at the rememberance of some of her OCD antics.
Eventually, we laid her down with what was left of her favorite ball, covered her over and both stood there silently with tears on our faces saying our goodbyes. This was one of those rare moments that you never forget.
It was not easy but I think both of us needed this time to come to grips with the fact that she was gone. But she still lives on inside both of us. He has had several other dogs since then and loved them all but his eyes still moisten up when he speaks of her.
And I still say hi to her every time I pass by.

Not always. My husband took one pet to the vet. Another died at home unexpectedly in her sleep and my two old cats I was there. It broke my heart but I felt I owed it to them to be there holding their paw. You have to do what’s right for you. If you are going to feel guilty about not being there… but I can understand your reluctance.

Yes I was in the room and, if it is in my control, I will be in the room with every single one of my other pets when their times come as well. I can understand why some people find it hard, it is hard but I, personally, feel that I owe it to my pet and family member to be in the room with them.

@Coloma I agree with you completely.

This is the poem I was hunting for, not the one I posted above, although that is nice too.

Before I Go

Before I grow too frail and weak,
And all that’s left is peace in sleep.

I know you’ll do what must be done
To end this fight that can’t be won.

I don’t fear death as humans do,
So let me try to comfort you.

Come, let’s take a quiet stroll
And share some time, soul to soul.

No need for words ‘tween you and I,
No need to say a last Good-bye.

We’ve grown so close in mind and heart,
It seems so cruel that we must part.

Be sure I’ll sense the pain you’ll feel,
Without me walking at your heel.

The days will seem full of despair,
Your “Sunshine” simply won’t be there.

In time the pain will slowly wane,
You’ll think of me and smile again.

Now take me where my needs they’ll tend
And stay with me until the end.

Hold me close with soft Good-byes
Until life’s bright light has left my eyes.

The final sound I need to hear
Is your soft voice upon my ear.

Your loving face will fade and dim
As the rush of heaven closes in.

And when you start your journey home,
I’ll be right behind, you are not alone.

Anon.

@rooeytoo Made me cry a bit.

Me too!

And me. Oh Prince – the most gormless cocker in cockerdom!

It led me to think about my cat, Iggy. While missing him makes me cry, I also am able to smile now as I remember what made him so special. I
don’t know if I’ve ever thought
of death that way before. That
poem is powerful. Thank you for posting that.

He was highly sedated (pill form, which I gave him a few hours before the vet visit). He was feisty up until the sedation, though. After being sedated, I held him for the longest time with his head resting on my chest. I rocked from side to side and told him that I loved him. I then carried him into the exam room and laid his bed and blanket on the table. I carefully rested him on his bed. I bent down and kissed his head, sobbing, telling him that “I’m sorry. I did all that I could do. You’re such a good boy and I love you”. My partner was beside me, rubbing his back. I then walked out of the room. The vet came in and according to my partner, it was a matter of 5 seconds after the shot that he was gone. She said that he twitched a bit (which is normal. Something to do with electrical impulses), then that was it. She had her arms wrapped around him and was talking to him softly.

@Mama_Cakes Sending a hug.

My sincere condolences, @Mama_Cakes. Sending warm (((HUGS))) to you both.

@Mama_Cakes Awwww….as good of an ending as can be expected. Bless his little doggy heart.

Oh, J. I’m so sorry. I know what you are feeling. Let yourself grieve. It’s been 5 months since I had to put down my baby boy and I still miss him so much.

Give me a call if you want to talk.

So sorry, @Mama_Cakes. My mascara is burning my eyes now. (((hugs)))

Crying too. I’m sorry for your loss and I agree with @tinyfaery. Let yourself grieve. He was as much a part of your family as any human.

Here is a photo from last winter.

And one more.

What a sweetie. Sending you a big hug. I know how much this hurts. I am glad you were there with him up until the last few minutes. You did all you could to let him know how loved he was. I’m sure he felt that.

What a cute little fella he was. It is so hard to lose them. I always think it is a good idea to adopt a new one as soon as you can. It gives you some fur to cry into and someone new to love, not to replace, just to love. It doesn’t make your grief lessen, it just makes your life bigger. Plus if you adopt, you save a life!

My thoughts are with you @Mama_Cakes and I am glad that your partner is such a support for you.

I just came back to this question so I can whine and cry all over it. We’ll most likely be saying goodbye to our schnoodle this week. My daughters both want to be there to say their goodbyes. I fucking hate this.

(((@WillWorkForChocolate ))) Don’t forget to allow yourselves to grieve and not blame yourself either. It is a loss and it is tough. I’m very sorry, Sweetie. bk

Most of us know how difficult it is to say goodbye to a beloved family member.

Since your daughters have clearly stated they want to be there, don’t forbid them. It’s obviously important to them and is a learning experience for then in coping with death and goodbyes.

My thouhts and prayers are with you. It’s tough.

Thanks, you guys.