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Shippy's avatar

Do you have the ability to have fun?

Asked by Shippy (9873points) October 15th, 2012

A friend of mine once said to me “You just don’t know how to have fun and do things you enjoy”.

This particular friend of mine, had a great gusto for life. She didn’t care what people thought of her, and would often wake up, run across the small lane that separated her apartment block from the sea, and jump in. I found that so strange really. For me this would take ages in preparation. Like, what if I got thirsty do I have money? or which swim suite should I wear and so it goes on.

She found delight in most things, from food, to decorating, to friendships to most anything that she found “fun”. I think she was right. I don’t know how to have fun. I think I feel I should be doing something more constructive. But when I sit and ask myself what is fun for me I go blank! Do you allow your self to have fun, do you even know what is fun for you? And how can I find out what is fun for me, and quit focusing on worrying instead!

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42 Answers

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

I think for me if something is comforting or pleasant in any way then it is fun no matter how big or small the thing might be. I do allow myself to have fun, but it does not have to involve something spectacular as it can be something as simple as doing a crossword or something that takes that little bit more preparation like going for a walk in the hills.

The chances are you do already know how to have fun, but maybe because of your friend you look for something bigger and better without being aware of even doing things already that you enjoy. Look at your interests and how you can incorporate them into something that is fun to do as it can take some of that feeling of stress or worry off you.

I know myself that I will even just go and walk into town and back home with my ipod on just to get some fresh air and nose at what is going on or I will do stuff in the garden as it relaxes me so you too will have things that relax you.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Shippy Do you have an inner child? I have one. He’s 12 years old. I let him out at times and just let him take over. Occassionly he comes out at other times and is a pain, but for the most part he’s well worth keepimg.

Shippy's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I need to find her again, she got lost in the Frey!

bookish1's avatar

I wonder this about myself all the time. I think I was better at having fun when I was younger and had fewer responsibilities (NB: I was still far more responsible and cautious than most people my age…)

I feel like I work so much these days (and being in a PhD program means I have a literally unending amount of work… I could work every waking hour and still not do everything I should do) that when I decide to take a break, I usually just want to veg out. Go out and get drunk and space out listening to music, or stay home and watch a movie. I have lots of fun things to do around the house, including a guitar and some excellent video games, not to mention shelves of wonderful fiction and poetry, but I just forget how to amuse myself. I think I’m still getting used to living alone, after living in a dorm with all my best friends nearby for 4 years.

wundayatta's avatar

Oh Baby! Fun is one thing I know how to do! I dance. I make music. I mess around joking with friends, telling stories, making up shit, and being silly. It’s great fun. My kids are like that, too. Always willing to be silly and to do something unexpected.

Fun and play are necessary for creativity. It’s through play that we come up with new ideas. We try them out in a safe atmosphere because the rules are different when you have fun. People aren’t so critical. In fact, criticism kind of has to go away in order to have fun.

If you grew up in a very critical family, and the stakes for being wrong were high, then it can be very hard to have fun. You would have been raised to mistrust it. If you work in places where it’s all about getting things done, and never about generating new ideas, then it’s hard to have fun.

You might be interested in this lecture by John Cleese on creativity. It’s kind of ironic to see him wearing a dark suit and making jokes in a very serious effort to explain to Norwegian business people how to have fun and unleash their creativity.

Shippy's avatar

@TheProfoundPorcupine Maybe you are right! my ideas of fun are a little more subdued.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Shippy Just relax and don’t overthink things. And take some risks. Nothing ventured nothing gained. A bit a go I offered my arm to a porcupine. Stupidest thing I have done in a while, but I read him as really mellow. He just held on and studied me for a bit. I got to see him up close and personal. it was so so cool.

Shippy's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe A profound one? loll

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Shippy Yes, very profound!!!

Shippy's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Sorry I can’t resist, @TheProfoundPorcupine what on earth were you doing on @Adirondackwannabe s arm!!! see I am having fun loll.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

And @TheProfoundPorcupine Thanks for not chomping on me. Them’s are some teeth.

Coloma's avatar

I’m all about fun, yes! I believe we should all have as much fun as we can, splurge on ourselves when we can, celebrate everything!
One’s orientation is, as always, a nature/nurture dichotomy, and my personality type, the ENTP, is known for seeking fun in all we do. We are very spontaneous, like free and creative work environments and are extremely creative/innovative types.

I am quite balanced with my pragmatic side but…I can always find a reason to celebrate something. If I was a gazillionaire I would pay everyones way. Money is worthless if it is not used for living and while I adapt to whatever circumstances present, I can’t stand extremely anal types and miserly people.
Spread around the joy!

I am contemplating surprising my daughter and her boyfriend with a hot air, champagne balloon ride for her B-Day in Nov.
I took her up for her 21st and we had SO much fun! A champagne, sunrise launch!
Ya gotta LIVE a little, what the hell are you working for anyway, security? Hah…there is no security, make fun while the sun shines in my mantra!

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

Well I have fun in teasing people as to whether or not I will bite them

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@TheProfoundPorcupine Well you were awful cute and you didn’t smell, so I might ask you out if I were single. You’ve got most of my bases covered.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Oh shit, I just realized I don’t know if you’re male or female. And good god, I just asked out another man.

Shippy's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Loll!!!!!! Yes, I was a bit shocked, thought maybe it was the “very large penis” haha (as stated on his profile) just in case you thought I had seen it loll.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Shippy Oh god that was funny. I thought I’d check after I asked. Surprise. You may all enjoy a laugh at my expense. Sorry @TheProfoundPorcupine .

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Shippy See you know how to have fun. I’m still laughing.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I live my like exactly like your friend haha. I’m such a bubbly person and I also really find pleasure in anything.

dxs's avatar

I wish I was more fun, but I’m just overall awkward and anxious (if at least at first), so it doesn’t really work out. I do think that I am not very worried about what people think of me, but not completely careless in an inconsiderate way. So to answer your question, no, I don’t think so at the moment. I find fun in simple things or things I do in solitude, like art or math or something.

JLeslie's avatar

I didn’t really have the ability until my 30’s. I had been miserable in pain with chronic illness troubles, and then finally I got some relief. First time out of pain in over 8 years. After being better for a while, I started to experience moments of pure happiness from very simple things, as simple as having a moment of being very aware I was not in pain. The absence of pain made me happy, and still does. From there it was like a point to bounce off from, suddenly I was out of my prison. Things that had to do with the senses, like seeing the ocean, the mountains, wildlife, or being comfy under the blankets in my bed, or listening to music that filled the room, all became amazingly wonderful and appreciated.

Now I seek the fun, because I feel the fun so much more than ever before. I want to travel and see the beautiful scenery. When I was younger I took it for granted and it seemed like no big deal. When I am doing things I enjoy I am very in the moment….dancing, listening to music, out for dinner with my husband, meeting new people…being in the moment suspends time, and the happiness and fun lasts longer.

I am not a risk taker, never was, I don’t drink, or do drugs, or do wild things that I can get hurt easily. I am not that kind of fun girl. But, I most likely will say yes if you ask me to go out, even on short notice, and I like to experience new things.

nofurbelowsbatgirl's avatar

spontaneity is my fun, although lately I haven’t much to be spontaneous about. I dream about having fun I guess now. I’ve been too isolated. Even my friends don’t bother with me anymore. Dreaming about it is much easier and less of a hassle. There’s a void and fun doesn’t fill it anymore.
Join me with a drink?

Aethelwine's avatar

Yes. Life would be a drag if I didn’t do the things that get me excited and make me laugh. Get out and experience something new. You’ll find something that makes you giggle. I promise.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Peeps, fun is anywhere you find it. I had a ton of fun with this thread. A sunset can be fun, or a baby animal, or family or a young child. Just relax and fun finds you if you let it.

gailcalled's avatar

@jonsblond: Learning Finnish can be hysterically funny if you have the right partner.

deni's avatar

Life is too short to worry about dumb stuff, it sounds cliche but it really is. Sure some stuff is worth worrying over, but not most things. Wasting time worrying what others think of you is not going to do anything but cause more problems. We are SO LUCKY to live on this amazingly charming beautiful rich diverse planet. You will probably never experience anything better than this life, so as long as you have your health, enjoy your time here. We are little specks of dust in the universe….it doesn’t matter what swimsuit you wear, or if you wear clothes instead, or if you jump in naked! Quit wondering and worrying. Stare at the sky for a couple of hours tonight and think about how small you are!

Yes I have the ability to have fun. I love life and do things daily I enjoy. I didn’t used to be this happy, but I seem to have found my niche. I credit myself with most of that. You have to live your life for you and no one else, but yes that is a difficult hump to get over especially when youre young.

Coloma's avatar

I just had fun slinging leftover blueberry pie off my deck into the dark abyss of the wilderness. Tonight a raccoon will have fun finding pie that fell from the sky. I’ll probably hear a screaming fight at 3 a.m. ’ Get the hell away from my pie, I found it first!” lol

Seek's avatar

Oh, I kick ASS at having fun.

I used to be so stuffy. Oh, I can’t do this, someone might see me!

Please. Life is too short not to drag your boss into a crowd of teenagers in the middle of a theme park and teach him how to Gangnam Style.

I will admit, it’s a little easier if there’s tequila involved.

Argonon's avatar

Yup, my idea of fun is just sitting in my room, writing and drawing.
I find fun in a lot of other things like just observing my surroundings and spacing out and going into my fantasy land in my head.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Some people, like myself, are more cerebral and sometimes it makes us a little less into the idea of ‘fun’ for fun’s sake. Several of my friends have to remind me to stop and enjoy sometimes or I’d work myself to the bone, and after a few months I get a little crabby. Sometimes I just need a ‘Rager’, which means I get toasted and make an ass out of myself, it releases that built up stress….but alas, I’m not a good drinker. Good luck.

flutherother's avatar

I used to be better at having fun. That was what life was all about when I was young. I still like to have fun but I am not so good at it now. Days can pass without any fun at all really. I do the things I enjoy; I visit wonderful places and do marvellous things and I sometimes feel quite happy just quietly contemplating things but there isn’t much fun. There are occasional moments with friends and with family which, unplanned, become filled with fun, but these are now seldom.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@flutherother Sometimes I think too much about the serious issues, politics, child abuse, the many ways our system fails our citizens, and it makes it harder to have ‘fun’. I don’t know, maybe we think too much or are too sensitive for this world. :)

Coloma's avatar

I think a lot has to do with personality type and the introvert/extrovert dichotomy. Some personalities are just naturally more pensive and serious, I am not one of them. lol

bookish1's avatar

@Coloma: I think you might be right… I’m too pensive and serious… So much so that people worried that I wasn’t having fun in a freaking gay bar in Paris this summer. But it’s just my demeanor. I assure you… I knew how to have fun there ;)

Coloma's avatar

@bookish1 Yeah, I am a big fan of personality typing, it is not a perfect science, but…there is a LOT of truth in it. I have been able to recognize a lot of different styles from my studies and find it a very valuable tool for understanding oneself and how others tick. :-)
It really helps explain why we are naturally attracted to certain types in friendships and relationships and why we conflict with others.

Shippy's avatar

@Coloma Sounds very interesting? Is it helpful to know? I’d love to know mine?

Coloma's avatar

@bookish1 Look up the MBTI “Meyers-Briggs temperament inventory and the “Enneagram”. Lots of free testing online and tons of reference materials, good stuff, invaluable tool IMO.

bookish1's avatar

@Coloma: Thanks, but I already know I’m an INFP, learned that in college and it makes a lot of sense and still does ;)

Coloma's avatar

I get along great with other NP’s and NTP’s, not so much sensors and judgers.
Mirror mirror.

Coloma's avatar

oops, I meant to say @Shippy not you @bookish1…never mind, I’m an ignorant slut sometimes. lol

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