General Question

imgr8's avatar

How do you overcome the panic of losing something you consider a 'security blanket'?

Asked by imgr8 (429points) October 20th, 2012

I have lost the ring that I always wear and have been really upset for a couple of days now, not just because the ring didn’t actually belong to me, but also because it was something really comforting to me. It made me feel secure and whenever I got anxious or upset I felt some comfort knowing that I had it. How can I get over this feeling in my stomach and move on, after all its just a ring.

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9 Answers

Berserker's avatar

I don’t know if this helps, but if I lose something that comforts me, I consider the actual practicality of it, and if it even had any. Comfort might be brought on by an object, but ultimately it’s something that occurs in your mind and heart. It sucks that it’s gone, but material possession should never be the primary key to one’s peace and sense of comfort.

lillycoyote's avatar

Like any other kind of loss, it just takes time. You kind of have to go through that ‘pit of the stomach feeling” and just tough it out. And don’t beat yourself up because it was only a ‘material possession.” I wore my mother’s wedding ring for ten years after she died. The I lost it. I was absolutely heartbroken and furious with myself. But, I never found it and I had to move on. I am still somewhat upset about it, to this day. But, I’ve moved on.

JLeslie's avatar

Do you remember the last time you had it on, and are you sure it is lost lost and not misplaced? Since it is a ring, I think if it doesn’t turn up in a coupke weeks, buy a new ring. I know it won’t have the same sentimental value, but at least you will have something on your finger. An empty ringfinger feels very odd when you always wear a ring.

I have lost or had stolen a few very meaningful pieces of jewelry in the last 30 years. I still am sad about it years later if I think about it, but the anxiety about it has gone away now that I really believe those things to be permanently lost. One of the items ai believe and hope it is still so ehwere in my house, and that one stresses me out the most still. Sometimes I want to tear my house apart again to search for it.

Most of all, don’t beat yourself up. It is one thing to feel awful about the loss, but another thing to blame yourself. These things happen, if you did something careless (I am not assuming you did) then it is a lesson on how these things happen. This loss might mean you don’t lose your $5,000 engagement ring in the future.

Judi's avatar

I thought I had lost my engagement ring from my first marriage. My first husband died and it had also been his grandmothers. I had promised my mother in law I would give it to my daughter.
I couldn’t find it, when my daughter got married.
Finally, a few years ago it just miraculously showed up. It was lost for over 10 tears and 2 moves.
She has her own engagement ring but now wearits rest grandmas ring on a chain around her neck.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

My heart goes out to you. It is understandable how you feel. Many people have felt the same way in similar circumstances. What they found out is that it takes working through the five stages of the grieving process. While this is more commonly affiliated with the loss of a loved one, it can still be applicable to belongings.

If you aren’t familiar with them, they are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There is no standard time-frame for how long each stage lasts. It sounds as if you are in the fourth stage and working towards the fifth. As @lillycoyote and @JLeslie point out, if the ring meant that much, the thought of it will still surface on occasion, but it subsides over time.

tom_g's avatar

The ring doesn’t seem like it was important to you because of it’s quality or beauty. It sounds like you liked it for what it represents. Whatever it represents might still be there, so you may not have lost a thing.

YARNLADY's avatar

I think time does the job. As time passes you find yourself thinking about the loss less and less.

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