Social Question

Shippy's avatar

'Sometimes people change' or perhaps more aptly they become more themselves?

Asked by Shippy (9870points) October 25th, 2012

Lately life experiences have caused me to consider, sit back, reflect and think. Before I never had time. I was in the noisy world of sales. Sales is a different culture. I would imagine you either hate it or love it. You need to be determined, stand your ground and be heard amidst the noise.

I was in sales because I earned well there. I wrote my own pay check. Until I became very burned out and exhausted.

The question is not about sales though, it is about: when a person changes, really does change inside, or feels this change, how does one assimilate this into their current environment. Which includes family, friends and others I would imagine. Have you experienced such a change? and how did people around you react? Was the change slow and progressive so no one noticed, or was it fast like a bolt of lightening? Or did you simply just become “more you” than you were before. Or is it because I just turned 50!

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8 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

The vocabulary really doesn’t matter. If you are not content with your behavior, then you try to do something different.

If you are making dramatic or extreme changes, those close to you should notice.

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

I think first of all that being aware of the change inside is a major step forward for someone, but there also has to be that belief in the change and it helps if the person understands the reasons behind feeling it in the first place.

After this has been worked out I think it then makes it that bit easier to then move forward and make those outward changes no matter if it is changing location, changing people, jobs, or whatever and the speed at which this happens will vary from person to person.

Personally my downfall at times has been a fear of not changing but a fear of taking the inward and making it an outward change and I need to think about why so it is difficult for me to talk about how others reacted and so on.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’ve matured a lot in the last few years and have started becoming more loving and more forgiving. I think it’s partly my age, but also my life experiences have caused me to think more about others lately, and since my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I’ve started appreciating my body more, and people I care about more.

I used to be pretty selfish, narcissistic, spoiled, and perhaps a little arrogant. Maybe it’s just that life has pretty much showed me who was boss a little more lately. Or God taught me some hard lessons, not sure but I’m different.

My family encourages the changes since they’re for the better. Some don’t believe I’ve changed and frankly it doesn’t bother me, I just do my ‘thang’ and move on. Life’s too short for negativity.

janbb's avatar

Since my husband left me, I have become a more powerful, self-actualizing and competent person. New friends and old have been amazed at the changes I’ve made.

wundayatta's avatar

I changed because I became ill. I experienced myself as a doing things I had never done before. Things that people disapprove of. I had to learn how to incorporate that person into myself, because I was now a person who had done some hurtful things to others. Why? For what? Who was I?

It’s not easy, because I can’t go back and undo what I did. I will forever be the person who wanted to do those things. I might not ever do anything like that again, or I might do that again. What does that mean? How do I find a way of loving myself now that I am a person I would have despised before I did what I did? How can I accept myself?

It’s a daily struggle, although there isn’t a lot of point in thinking about it. I also need to live my life and get my work done. But perhaps I have to make some big changes because I was not happy the way I was, and I may not be able to snuff out a part of myself simply because people don’t approve.

augustlan's avatar

I tend to think of it as becoming more myself when inner change occurs. Sometimes it has been a natural progression, while other times have required outside action (like going to therapy). Not everyone in our lives will be happy about the changes, even when they are undoubtedly good for us, personally. It can be hard to integrate change into your current circumstances (friends/family/jobs), so sometimes you have to change your circumstances, too.

rojo's avatar

Everything (and everyone) changes. We adapt. We have to, we’re human and that’s what we do.

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