General Question

punkrockworld's avatar

What should i do about this problem?

Asked by punkrockworld (960points) June 5th, 2008

I like this guy. He’s really nice to me. Problem is that i don’t know what his intentions are. How do i know if he really likes me or just wants what every guy wants..
Im really bad with relationships and i am scared to commit myself to someone. Thats why im really cold most of the time. Pda for example is out of the question even though i wish i could be all cute with him. I just dont wanna come off too easy but right now im just coming off like im a prude. What should i do? Can i change?—-

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16 Answers

gorillapaws's avatar

Prude is good. If he’s not willing to hold out for a while then you will probably have a pretty good idea of his real intensions. As a guy, of course I’m going to try to get a piece, but sadly if she gives it up too quickly, then it makes me worry about how many other guys she gives it up to. It’s totally hypocritical and a double-standard etc.—I know, but it’s also the truth. So keep on teasing him, make him earn it!

PupnTaco's avatar

If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? It makes a difference with how we’ll answer.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

Frankly, if you can’t read his intentions then you don’t want him. Unless you are playing way too coy and not really trying to find out what his intentions are I’d say don’t go another inch. If you have been too coy, then dammit sister, ask him what it is you want to know. You: Jeff, we’ve been out a few times and I really like you, how do you see this relationship working? If he can’t give you even a good bullshit answer then get gone. Don’t put up with any “ummmm…welll…ya know….’ That’s worse than bullshit.

I should really back out of this because I am so old, but in my mind you ask the questions you want the answers to. Don’t couch stuff. For god sakes be a woman and take charge!

skfinkel's avatar

What do you mean that you’re “bad with relationships”? Maybe you should be thinking a bit about why that is the case, how they haven’t worked out, and what you could have done differently (assuming you wanted them to continue…). Like, figure that out first. Then you will have a new basis from which to proceed.

And, how old are you?

mghb's avatar

Well all, (OK almost all men) have the same intentions, at least to start. That is attraction.

It is up to you is you give in to that lust. Spend some time getting to know this person, or any other man you may have an interest in. As you do this fellow, if you didn’t you would not be asking the question.

punkrockworld's avatar

@PupnTaco I’m 19

jlelandg's avatar

19 year olds are probably out for what every guy wants. It goes with the territory. If you want to have a real relationship the prude thing should test his intentions pretty well. Sex just complicates things half the time.

punkrockworld's avatar

@jlelandg : Yea it does. I dont wanna do it until im stable with him for like a few months at least

PupnTaco's avatar

I’ll say this: communicate with him. Tell him you want to take it slow and get to know him. He’ll make his intentions known through his actions.

But also: you’re young. Have fun. Experience life, but be safe.

scamp's avatar

I agree with gorillapaws . Take it slow and make him wait for you.

margeryred's avatar

If you can’t read the guy’s intentions he is probably not the guy for you. Depending on yours and his age… he is probably after ONE THING… Sex.

So be careful. If he won’t wait and take time to get to know you then he probably only wants that. Don’t give anything up before you are ready, and when you think you are ready, talk to an adult or a friend that you trust and look up to and get their opinion of how you should proceed.

Hotpockets's avatar

Believe it or not, even at age 19, I would suggest that you not take the chance at all untill ALL your suspicions are completely gone. I most definately agree with jlelandg: “Sex just complicates things.” And it most certainly does. Even relationships complicate things. I’m not saying to never get into a relationship. I’m just saying make sure that you know yourself, what exactly it is that you want in life and in your future partner. If you are the slightest bit hesitant with any of that, then choose to wait.

somedayGuy's avatar

Take your time sweety

beccalynnx's avatar

ditto to somedayGuy.

you’ve got the rest of your years to learn and meet him.
and most likely, yeah, he is after that one thing. however, if you stick through it and continue being a friend, you could find one day that there’s more between the two of you.

Pango_Vine's avatar

I’m pretty damn young (15) a couple years ago, there was guy who had tried to ‘win’ me. Muiltple times he wanted to talk to me but never managed to say anything, just walked up to me and was totally silent and walked away again (and he is a really out-going guy who is extremely mature for his age) (same age as me). A month later his friend asked me out, which killed him inside but gave him opportunities to get to know me. When ever his friend was not around he avoided me as to not tempt himself. Even after his friend and I broke up he tried to avoid me. He waited for a year before trying anything (and only tried after his friend had told him it was OK), then wrote me poems and did random little crazy sweet things to tell me he liked me. After a year, he ended up spray painting part of our school with a short poem and a funky heart and it also said I love you, Flash (called me flash cause when ever he was stoned apparently my lips flashed in colour lol) to try and prove to me that he loved me. It was kind of awkard but sweet in an odd way. Eventually him and I unofficially got together and I made it REALLY tough for him since I was not yet over his friend. Him and I were on off almost ever other week. Over all, he ended up waiting for me almost two years before I went out with him. He did EVERYTHING I asked him to to try to prove he loved me. Well, now we have been dating for 5 months, there have been issues but they have all been worked out. As of recently he is quitting ALL types of intoxication for me. :) I guess what I’m trying to say is if he is worth it and he really does care for more than just things, he will wait for you. -Not necessarily as long as my guy, I think my case was just…‘special’, but he will wait. :) Best of luck!

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