Have you ever been abused by a parent, and if so how do you learn to trust others again?

My mom was an alcoholic for years and there was some shoves, etc…a few times. I was in and out of bars seeing and hearing things I shouldn’t from age 12 to age 16, then I moved out when I was 17 to get a fresh start away from my mom.

I still have a hard time getting close to people though, allowing them into my private life (unless it’s somewhere safe like online- lol). Something in me broke when my mom was mean to me, and I just don’t trust people. I’m almost 40 and it gets lonely since I won’t allow people to get very close. I feel like they only want to get close so that once I trust them or love them, they can hurt me.

My niece has also said that her father’s insane temper has made her feel the same way, so I want to help her but I don’t know how since I have the same issue. But she’s only 13 and I don’t want her pushing people away like I do.

Any insights?