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Cerrie's avatar

Who are you with when you die?

Asked by Cerrie (22points) December 17th, 2012

If you become a widow and dearly loved you husband when he died, but then remarry, which partner would you be with in the spirit world??

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16 Answers

Sunny2's avatar

Both. Heaven is what you make of it and everyone is peaceable.

marinelife's avatar

Perhaps neither. Perhaps those bonds don’t transcend death or people are preoccupied with other things.

harple's avatar

I had an ex who was so worried about this that he tried to make me promise not to get together with anyone else if he died first. Needless to say, that relationship ended. (It was one sign of many that he was too controlling to be with.)

The fact is, you can’t know the answer to this while you’re alive. What I will say is that getting together with someone after the death of your spouse doesn’t mean that you belittle the love you have for the deceased partner.

downtide's avatar

I’m not a Christian, but the way I understand it is that marriage is an earthly institution that does not transcend death, so I would assume that you wouldn’t be with either of them.

Seek's avatar

To my knowledge, you would all be “together” in the sense that you will all have passed into unconsciousness, and your bodies would be broken into their individual components once again. They would then go on to become matter in other living or nonliving things, and at the destruction of this planet, go on to become the stardust from whence it came.

Coloma's avatar

I agree with @Seek Kolinahr that would be my take.

@harple Funny!

” God ” I hope not!
I wouldn’t want to be with my ex husband. What a nightmare. lol
Fortunetely I’m pretty sure we won’t end up in the same place.
Of course, he’s already in hell, he moved to Texas. hahaha

Bellatrix's avatar

Polygamy is not illegal in heaven. The ultimate threesome or foursome or moresome.

bkcunningham's avatar

You sound like the Sadducees, @Cerrie. God is not the God of the dead but the God of the living.

Matthew 22:23–33

23 The same day came to him the Sadducees, which say that there is no resurrection, and asked him,

24 Saying, Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.

25 Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother:

26 Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh.

27 And last of all the woman died also.

28 Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her.

29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.

30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

31 But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying,

32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.

33 And when the multitude heard this, they were astonished at his doctrine.

Thammuz's avatar

Neither, because you’re dead.

Thammuz's avatar


32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.
He said, after listing off three dead guys.

33 And when the multitude heard this, they were astonished at his doctrine.
Because he completely missed the point, and was also talking bollocks.

30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
And this is the clincher. This whole thing is completely incoherent, as usual, because there is a simple problem: according to the common interpretation of the difference between mortals and angels, angels do not have free will. That’s why they are supposedly perfect, and that’s why the greatest crime any of them ever committed is rebellion.

Which means that in death, if you’re “lucky” enough to get to heaven, you’ll be in a brainwashed and blissful stupor, without any ability to act of your own accord. Why? Because if you could you would argue about who is our wife married to. Because if you could you would worry about your loved ones who haven’t made it there.

Because, in short, being an individual makes god grumpy.

wundayatta's avatar

If I believed in life after death, and I believed we could travel in this land as individuals and meet other individuals, then I think everyone would love everyone. I would meet my former lovers and I would still love them, and they me and all their other lovers and there would be no jealousy, for we would all be tThere would always be fun things to do, and wonderful people to play with.

Well, there is no afterlife, so let’s make this happen on earth, while I still have time to enjoy it!

RockerChick14's avatar

I like to believe in afterlife but I’m not sure.

_Whitetigress's avatar

Spirit world huh? Perhaps both? Double p… (Partners!)

Paradox25's avatar

From all of the literature that I’ve read about relating to the afterlife there are a few factors involved here in determining who we’ll end up being around when we pass on. The most important factor is that there needs to be a bond, or love between a couple. If there is a bond then the couple will likely stay together, but if there was no true bond then the couple will go their own ways. This concept seems to be true for even biological family members too, for if there was no real bond/love between children, parents, siblings, etc then they too will go their seperate ways.

I will try to explain what might happen in the situation you’ve asked about. From what I’ve read if there was a true bond/love between two different spouses due to the circumstances mentioned in this question, then several possibilities could happen. I’m only going to mention one of them here since this is a very complicated topic here, our spiritual nature: one of them could find love, or even their soulmate in the ‘afterlife’ (personally I don’t like that term) since even amongst most happily married/unmarried couples most of these are not true soulmate unions, and most people do not find their soulmate in the physical life. However, where ever there is a true bond/love between any person/s there will always be a connection.

There is another factor here too to consider: the Law of Attraction. I’m not talking about the New Age version of this which states that how we think/act determines what we draw into our lives. This is nonsense, and to verify this just ask any decent person who was abused, molested and/or raped as a child this and I’m sure they would agree with me here. The Law of Attraction I’m talking about is likened to the biblical verse we reap what we sow. What this means is that when we pass on from this dimension to the next where we end up, the types of people/entities we’re around and the conditions we’ll live in are determined by the type of life we’ve lived, how we treated others (even animals) and what our motivations were for our actions, and faith has nothing to do with this. All of these things determine our spiritual level, and if a couple who truly loved each other are on a different spiritual level then they will not be together, at least on a regular basis. Spiritual development can always be upgraded and perhaps this could change things, but as long as there was a true bond between anybody they will always be united in some way.

This is very tough to try to explain since I’m trying to use human words, along with trying to comprehend this with a human mindset to try to articulate concepts way above our understanding. There are many things that I left out here because the literature I would need to describe all of this would require thousands of pages. One more note though: marriage is a manmade institution and has no bearing in the spirit world. The only thing that truly matters from what I’ve read is whether there was a bond/love.

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