Question about anger management?

How do you manage the anger of someone who won’t let anybody to manage her anger?

I just want to help a loved one because I felt she’s not very good at anger management. She said hurtful words to someone who would hurt her, as her defense mechanism. Which I think is not good. Because you don’t have to fight back, or talk back harshly to the people who hurt you.

She won’t listen ever. How would you help someone who won’t listen to you.