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mazingerz88's avatar

In what ways have you disappointed your parents but on the other hand, have pleased them?

Asked by mazingerz88 (19058points) January 9th, 2013

How do you feel about such things now and have you ever tried to make up for it? Have you failed? Succeded? How much and in what way did these life events changed you?

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17 Answers

SABOTEUR's avatar

I think my mother (my parents divorced when I was very young) was pleased I turned into what she described as a “fine young man”.

I feel she would have preferred that I’d turn into a reasonably successful fine young man.

I’ve always demonstrated glimmers of talent, but have never worked toward achieving my full potential.

snapdragon24's avatar

I’ve probably disappointed my parents with the choice of men I’ve made growing up.

Probably disappointed them with my lack of concentration throughout high school and my weird choice of friends.

NOW, its the complete opposite. They are proud that I’m finally seeing someone who brings me peace, that I’ve finished university on a good note and with a drivers license. Getting my permit was by far the toughest thing to do…as I was afraid of the road.

And finally, they always believed that I will go very far in life and become an amazing mother as I am great with little kids and love them to bits!

Pachy's avatar

Perhaps I felt disappointment for various things they did when I was a kid, but I don’t remember that. What I know now is that they did the best they knew how to do which was pretty darned good, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Pachy's avatar

Mmmm, I re-read this question and answered it incorrectly. Apologies. I can honestly say I don’t believe I disappointed my parents, except perhaps with lousy grades from time to time.

bookish1's avatar


GloriaEstefan's avatar

They seemed pretty disappointed in high school when they found out that I had stolen a stack of paper from school that was used to print report cards on. I made my own report cards for the two years.

I think my mom is ok with it now that she works for me.

KNOWITALL's avatar

My mother has almost always been proud of me, but there have been a few times she’s a little disappointed that I’m not more of a showboat like she is. She is bi-polar, loud, humorous and one time sold her car and everything and took off to Hollywood, she’s starting to hoard things, and is kind of an old hippie type, unique let’s say.

I am more sedate, work a 8 to 5p job, married, house, car the whole American Dream. In high school I refused to wear blue jeans and only wore pants or dresses/ skirts, and that freaked her out.

She sometimes says she wishes she could be more normal like me, but I remind her that because of her unique parenting style, I crave the normal and stable.

burntbonez's avatar

My mother died young, of early onset alzheimers. She never really had a chance to be proud of me. At least she knew I graduated from college. Big whoop.

My father retired to Florida, and passed a way a couple of years ago. We never really got along all that well. Typical story, I guess. He was a business man and wanted me to make money. I am more of an artistic type, but I have been dutiful, and have held down a series of corporate jobs in HR. My father was glad I held these jobs and made decent money. But he seemed to expect I would work harder and become a CEO or something. So I think I disappointed him, that way.

He was never much interested in my art work. He kept dismissing it as playdoh. I was never happy about that. But it doesn’t matter any more.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@burntbonez Sounds like we both chose different paths, I wonder if his business work affected you as my mom’s style affected my choices?

Self_Consuming_Cannibal's avatar

Well the day my parents saw me on this youtube video, they were deeply disappointed in me. I was the one “on top.”

But the day I helped co-create the machine featured in this video, I totally redeemed myself to them. especially my mom.

Pachy's avatar

Memories of my youthful indiscretions are slowly bubbling up. My mother was quite upset with me one Christmas when I told her that my best friend and I had swiped a baby Jesus out of a manger on a neighbor’s lawn. She made us go back to the neighbor’s house, place the doll back in the cradle, and apologize to the people. Believe me, my friend and I weren’t laughing as hard walking up to their porch as we had earlier running away with the baby Jesus.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well seeing how they’re racist and homophobic and sexist…

my sexuality, my gender identity, my sex life, my best friends, the way i raise my children to be as ‘evil’ as myself

have all been disappointments

How I’ve pleased them: I’ve kept them in my life, living under my room, all of them with all their fucking batshittery.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Living under your room, what does that mean? You live with them and everything about you disappoints them? :( I don’t like that for you.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@KNOWITALL Well, you see, I am a better person than they are. And they watch the kids. And many have died. Eventually, they will all die. The family I created for myself is much much better, don’t worry.

wundayatta's avatar

I have spoken many times about the idea that I feel like my parents expected me to do something great like win the Nobel prize. That’s what my father expected of himself, and since he didn’t do it, I guess he had to project it onto me. Well, I’m no better than he was, and in his mind, probably a lot worse. So that’s a big disappointment to him.

I think the one thing I’ve done that pleased them was I managed to find a woman who would have children with me, thus giving them grandparents. None of my siblings have done so. The family is doing it’s part for reducing world population. Must be the effect of all those rants my father made when we were growing up. In my case, they fell on deaf ears, and had this been any other time but now, I’d still be childless. Thank god for ICSI.

bookish1's avatar

I’m hoping to have a beard by the time I defend my PhD. That sums it up pretty well.

spykenij's avatar

I know my mom is disappointed that I didn’t go to college. I’m not sure what other way to make it up to her than go, but I cannot do school and work fulltime, period. Not even for little shit. I won’t because I know it is not good for my mental stability. I need human interaction with people I like and while I like my work peeps, I’d like to see others outside that circle. If I ever come into money, I’ll go. I just can’t do it and support myself. Wish I hadn’t supported others through their schooling. Wasn’t worth it because now they’re gone.

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