General Question

Cat1118's avatar

If a boy thats your best freinds with, starts to like a girl. And then you find out that you have feelings form him, what should you do?

Asked by Cat1118 (17points) June 9th, 2008

We have been best friend, sents we we’re 6 years old.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

fabulous's avatar

Tell him how you feel you could be surprised by what he says

elchoopanebre's avatar

I second what fabulous says.

In most cases (in my experience anyways), people are harder to read than we think.

jlm11f's avatar

you said you have been best FRIENDS since you were 6. how old are you now?

scamp's avatar

Do you REALLY like him, or are you just more interested because he likes someone else? If you are sure you like him, tell him. But hurry up before he gets too involved with the other girl.

Cat1118's avatar

Right know im 18 years old.

iCeskate's avatar

start dropping hints and go nice places where you guys have to dress

kevbo's avatar

… especially if he has shown any interest in you in the past.

Cat1118's avatar

He has shown some interest, but we never gone out.

jlm11f's avatar

Okay well he has just started liking this girl right? They probably haven’t even gone out yet. Or if they have, maybe once. I would follow scamp’s advice. When you are that close to someone, and you feel like you might lose them to someone else, it can make you misunderstand your feelings of anxiety/jealousy to feelings of love. So MAKE sure its not that you are worried about losing your best friend, because if that’s the reason, you should know one girl cannot ruin years of friendship. Search within yourself, also ask yourself whether you want to get into a relationship with him, because if it ends badly, that could cause problems. If you are positive that you aren’t mistaking your feelings, tell him the truth and see what he says.

girlofscience's avatar

This is the first interactive message-board-like site I’ve experienced on which the goal isn’t to have the most sarcastic/insulting response… As evidenced by the fact that people have responded to this question so kindly.

iCeskate's avatar

did you like him before he liked her?

Cat1118's avatar

Well I had always had some what of a crush o him, but when he told me that he was starting to like someone else, I got really sad!

Stocky's avatar

In most and i mean alot of cases guys are not “friends” with girls they arent interested in, so if you tell him how you feel you might be amazed at what he says

kevbo's avatar

My other unasked for advice is if you decide not to pursue it, then by all means don’t interfere with his relationship in any way. Listen and advise if he has problems, but don’t try to protect him because he’ll probably end up resenting you for interfering.

ambos's avatar

First off, I totally agree with PnL and scamp. You have to evaluate why you are feeling what you are feeling and go from there. Second, having been in this situation before, with an opportunity to tell the guy and not seizing it, I say tell him. I regret not having told my best friend in high school the feelings I had for him, especially when he started liking, then dating another girl. It was horrible watching him date this other girl and having to pretend like I didn’t have feelings for him. And like kevbo advised you, I was a good friend who listened and gave advice, but didn’t interfere. It was the right thing to do, but it sucked because my feelings for him were genuine and didn’t disappear. But I missed my opportunity and had to live with it.

Well… I hate to end like that, so instead, I will wish you a heart-felt “good luck”! I really do hope this all works out for you.

Optimism101's avatar

Has he given you any hints that he might like you as well? But evaluate your situation like the others said be sure your feelings are true… I’m actually going through this now I missed my chance cause I was scared it would make my friendship with her awkward. Ambos is right it’s excruciating watching and hearing the stories when you miss your chance. If you are still unsure the best thing to do is tell him especially now that he doesnt have deep feelings for the other girl. Best of luck dude!

wildflower's avatar

If you didn’t start liking him until he starred liking someone else, there’s a good chance this is just jealousy (sp?)

fabulous's avatar

I don’t think it is jealousy at all i know when i got together with osullivanbr we were best friends for about 4 years or so we hardly left each others sides. As time when on i started to realize that i had stronger feelings for him so i decided that i would not tell him in case it would affect our friendship but i couldn’t so i went for it and told him and i really felt i was very surprised that he felt the same way about me so we took our friendship to a relationship and we have never looked back we are together now 8 years and are very happily married with a wonderful 6 year old daughter. So take that chance you wont know unless you try .

Cat1118's avatar

Well I diden’t tell him that I had feeling for him, because I guess I was to shy. And he trust me a lot…it hurts alot when he tells me that he likes her. If I tell hime now, would it be to that he has feeling for her??

Zaku's avatar

No it wouldn’t be too late. I suggest something in the nature of, “Hey I’d like to talk to you about something.” Then in person/private, “So, something happened that surprised me… When you started talking about how you like Z, I felt sad.”

Optimism101's avatar

Nah its not too late, but if you’re serious, then do it already. Its gonna get harder if you wait then also you are risking deeper feelings he might develop for her. It sucks when you are on the sidelines waiting to play!

scamp's avatar

It’s not too late because he hasn’t had long enough to get really involved with this girl, but like I said before, you should really hurry up and tell him. Once he gets deeply invovled with this other girl, he will be a goner to you. Then you will have a very long wait for him. You would have to wait out the entire relationship (and who knows how long that could take) and then you would have to give him some recovery time after the breakup. So I think you should work up the nerve to let him know you have feelings for him as soon as possible. Good luck!!

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