Would you say something to your friend about this?

A male friend of ours, Jerry, has been in a relationship with a woman for about three years. We haven’t hung out much because she’s rather cold and quiet to all of us (his group of friends from the last few decades, even in groups of one and two), and when she drinks she is really obnoxious and loud. She’s about ten years older than Jerry, tattoo’s but is “from money” according to herself.

A friend of ours that we’re close to, let’s call him Ben, has recently been defending her to the rest of us, saying “she’s not that bad guys.”

The last time I was alone with her, she accused Jerry of hitting her & being a drunk. Then she said he made her quit her job and pays all her bills, and gives her money all the time for her and her grown children. One day he’s evil and ten minutes later, he’s Mr. Wonderful and she wants him to marry her.

She talked bad about “Ben” at my house about one month ago, as well, which I didn’t tell him. I think she’s either just an ugly person inside or perhaps something is wrong with her, so staying away is my solution.

How do you handle it? We miss our old friend, and I don’t want Ben to think I’m just being mean to her, but he hasn’t heard her whole “I’m a gold-digger, isn’t that cute” spiel either.