Social Question

SuperMouse's avatar

Have you ever confided in someone you trust then been immediately sorry?

Asked by SuperMouse (30772points) January 26th, 2013

Have you ever shared information someone and regretted it immediately? Maybe because the person you confided in judged you right away or maybe they had a very strong opinion on the situation, shared it, then expected you to follow their advice to the letter. Or maybe for some other reason, but not necessarily because they blabbed your business all over.

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13 Answers

partyrock's avatar

Yes for sure, my sisters. I regret opening up to them and sharing things with them.

Judi's avatar

More than once! My whole life I have been famous for speaking without fully thinking about the consequences of my words. I have gotten better about it in my old age and have learned to hold my tongue a bit more but I still have those moments where I immediately know that I blew it and this person will either use my words against me or someone else or they will misunderstand and take offense.

Sunny2's avatar

Not immediately, but shortly thereafter. She had no sense of being subtle as far as there being other people around when she mentioned it. She’s finally stopped asking, thank goodness.

Aethelwine's avatar

Yes. That someone for me would be Fluther. There have been many times I wished I had kept some information to myself and not share it with Fluther.

I also wish I had kept a few things from my mother. She tends to gossip when she drinks. Some family members know things I didn’t want them knowing thanks to mom. :/

cazzie's avatar

Oh yeah. One sister comes to mind. Simply the look on her face was enough to tell me I had made a huge mistake and I was right. I heard my story come back around the family web with nothing but taunting and harsh tones of disapproval.

Another time, I was feeling extremely raw about something and my neighbour was standing outside with me after we had just gotten our kids off to school together. We started talking and she seems so nice and sympathetic. I was wrong. She made the next 6 months hell for me and now, she does so at every given chance. Now, she sees nothing but the cold veneer.

partyrock's avatar

I thought because she was my sister she would be more kind and understanding towards me. I opened my life and things I was going through with her – Boy was that a mistake to have opened up to her. only to have her be mean to me in the end. She basically ended up being a backstabbing rotten little B%$#@ ....

I am not one for name calling but other people agreed with me that she was very immature and unkind. I’ve never had anyone say something bad about me to my face…. I’ve never even heard of anyone who had nasty things to say about me…. Ever in my life… But I saw a Facebook post where she basically dropped curse words and mean jabs. It was very hurting. I’d never done anything wrong to her.

Thankfully that negativity is out of my life. Although I assumed just because we shared the same blood that there would be loyalty/kindness/understanding towards one another…. I was wrong.

That’s my story.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t think this has ever happened to me, but I might be forgetting something. It’s probably because I’m such a blabbermouth (when it comes to myself, only…I can keep other people’s confidences). I tell pretty much everyone everything, so maybe it never really feels like I’m confiding in anyone.

bookish1's avatar

Yes, my mother. She has betrayed my trust and been very hurtful.

Shippy's avatar

I have actually, it’s a lousy feeling. Not sure what is means, to us I mean. Do we make wrong choices by doing so? Be sad to think we cannot ever trust anyone. If we can’t even trust our family then that’s just harsh. I think for me, I consider whether the person can handle the information intellectually or emotionally first.

Coloma's avatar

Not immediately regretted it, but, I dumped an emotionally screwed up “friend” a few years ago and was appalled at her digression over a simple confrontation and she then threw in my face every little sharing that I had disclosed to her over the years. I realized that it was her childish attempt at diverting from the issue at hand, but it pretty much sunk our friendship boat instantly, although I was already poised to jump her ship of manipulation. I lose all respect for those that resort to petty and childish tactics over minor conflict or correction. Gah!

I also don’t share a lot with others because, most of the time, people are so woefully bereft of any true ability and social skill to respond and give feedback or they are emotionally uncomfortable with hearing your frustrations of concerns.
You know the scene, you share something and the other person fails to respond much, if at all.
I am a very engaged and “jump right in” type and have another friend/aquaintence that is driving my nuts with her complete inability to reciprocate in the same way.
I will listen to her stuff for 30–40 minutes and then, often, when I turn the conversation to something going on with me there is zero feedback, zero enthusiastic return.
It is getting very old and I am distancing from this person to a degree right now.

burntbonez's avatar

Sometimes I make quick judgments that a person is trustworthy, and I tell them something, and then get all worried that they aren’t trustworthy. So far, I haven’t been hurt badly in this way. I think one or two times people got a bit nasty to me, and there have also been a couple of times when people blabbed it all over, although they usually got told by most people they shouldn’t be blabbing private stuff. Interesting. So the blabbers usually got hurt more than I did.

Though in those two cases, I was not sharing things about myself, but opinions about the other person, in private.

I can not think of a situation where I was hurt by sharing private things with others. Most people seem to respect the vulnerability and share things with me, as well. Kind of mutually assured destruction. If you blab, then I blab, and you’re as bad off as I am. Or worse.

But I never blab. That’s partly because my memory is bad. Partly because I would never do that. I value the trust people place in me, and no matter how much I want to share something I know just to show I’m in the loop, I keep my mouth shut.

Unbroken's avatar

Like @jonsblond Fluther is my blather button.

diavolobella's avatar

I watch what I say to one particular relative. We are extremely close in every other way, but she has an unfortunate and wide streak of judgmentalism. I know there are certain things I choose to do, which are not out of the ordinary in any way, but she’d disapprove of them. So, I just don’t go there.

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