Social Question

redellbabymomma19's avatar

What do you think a real friend is?

Asked by redellbabymomma19 (40points) January 31st, 2013

When I started my senior year at school I didn’t have any friends. As the days went by there was a group of girls that asked to be my friend. I told them yes and started eating lunch and doing other things with them. So a few days passed and I started to realize that they were not associating with me as much as they used to. So, one day I was about to sit and eat lunch with them and one of them moved their purse on where I was about to sit. The whole group started talking about how much they played me and how they were never my friends in the first place. I cried all that week and felt so stupid and humiliated and now I know that I need to learn what a real friend is! Can you help me?

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11 Answers

nofurbelowsbatgirl's avatar

A real friend would never do that to you.
A real friend makes you feel good and makes you feel like you have purpose.
A real friend is the fung to your shui.
A real friend is in perfect harmony with you.
You can lean on your real friend and they can lean on you.
A real friend knows the real you understands you and you know and understand them.

Welcome to fluther :)

redellbabymomma19's avatar

@nofurbelowsbatgirl That was so true! Keep in touch and maybe we can be friends!

CWOTUS's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

Try not to let it get to you too badly. Anyone can be played, humiliated and made to look the fool from time to time. It doesn’t say anything about you that they were able to do that to you, but it speaks volumes about them. What vicious, awful people. I pity anyone who really does befriend them – and even more, anyone that they “truly” befriend, if that’s even possible.

You don’t need to worry too much about “what a friend is”, as long as you retain your own ability to be a friend. Don’t lose that, and you’ll be okay.

Pandora's avatar

A real friend is the polar opposite of what you describe. Its your senior year and its nearly over. You will forget all their names by next year when you meet a more mature crowd in college. All of them knew and without their clicks of friends to encourage each other in stupid actions.

But short story.
A real friend
Would never intentionally hurt you.
Would have your back.
Would be patient when you are not at your best.
Would not be afraid to tell you when you are being a jerk nor afraid to hear you true opinions.
Is loyal to your face and behind your back.
Feels ok to be themselves with you and likes it when you are your real self with them.

Most importantly, a real friend will not use you. If they ask for favors they have no problem returning them in kind when you need them and understand that you cannot always deliver because you have your own life to live as well and it may not be convenient to help or even possible. Even if you say no, they are understanding and will still be that shoulder to cry on, if you need them the next day.

Friendship is a two way street. You don’t always get back what you put into it but it should feel pretty close or you will or they will feel unappreciated.

filmfann's avatar

Sorry about your experience with these assholes. They are not the kinds of friends you want.

I like the old line “Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.” I am lucky enough to have a friend like that.

kess's avatar

Having friends is not about trying to make friends,
It about being real with others,
doing what you can, when you can to ensure their well being.

People will come and go, some will consider you a good friend, others won’t.
Either way you would be fine.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Welcome to high school.

High school girls are petty, back-stabbing little bitches for the most part. They think the world revolves around them and have no clue about the real world. Unfortunately, they don’t figure this out until college or beyond.

I’ve been in similar situations with high school “friends” and all I can say is hang in there. High school will soon be over and those assholes won’t matter anymore.

I found that sticking to myself was the best course of action. It was lonely, but it ended all of the stupid drama that I didn’t need or desire. These girls had the tools to make my high school years a living hell, so I refused to give them the pleasure.

OpryLeigh's avatar

If I my car breaks down in the middle of the night and I feel that I could contact you for help, then I consider you a real friend. There isn’t many people I could do that to (which is why I am a member of the AA!)

I don’t think you need us to tell you that what you experienced was nothing close to real friendship and those girls are nasty, horrible bitches. What have they achieved by “playing” you anyway? Personally, I have always felt happier having a small number of close friends than a large number of fairweather friends. I hope you can find someone who you can trust and develop a real friendship with.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Real friends are there to make you smile when you’re sad, or cry with you, and smile with you during good times, celebrate life together.

When my dog died I had to find somewhere to bury him, since I live in the suburbs, and when I asked one of my friends with land, he said yes. Then he helped me bury him and cover it with rocks, and the other day he said “While you’re here, let’s go check on your boy.” He’s one of my very best friends now and I love him, and I’d trust him with my life, he actually did save my husbands life during a seizure this year too.

lici92's avatar

I have two best friends. To me they are the two guys I can call no matter the time, and they will always pick up. I can tell them why my day was crappy, and they will listen. I can walk into a room without saying a word, and they automatically know what’s wrong. I live with one of them, and it is constant laughter. Sometimes it is sitting there arguing, but getting over it once we both get hungry and decide to go get dinner together. Having a true best friend is knowing that whatever they’d do for you, you’d do for them also.

I am sorry that your experience with friends is not going so great, but keep your head up. I know it may seem like forever, but once you are out of high school you will find out there really are so many great people out there. Maybe even in your high school there are great people, you just haven’t met them yet. Try to get out, join clubs, or sports. Good luck to you, and keep your head up.

Inspired_2write's avatar

A real true friend is one who recognizes you flaws yet still is your friend.
We all have flaws, that we tolerate in others.
These girls were not mature, and they did you a favor by showing their true colours.
You now can avoid them!
They are not worth your time.
Find better people to be with, and better people will find you too.
It won’t take long .

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