General Question

punkrockworld's avatar

If you're too comfortable with a guy, does that mean you don't like or love him?

Asked by punkrockworld (960points) February 18th, 2013

For my ex, I used to dress up and there was no way he would see me look sloppy. With my new guy, I don’t care if he sees me looking sloppy at home.

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21 Answers

Unbroken's avatar

Do you also want to dress up for him? I think someone you care about and love should also be someone you are comfortable around. Be yourself and not have to put on faces or masks.

CuriousLoner's avatar

I would say that is a good thing. It means you comfortable enough to be yourself with him. Although I’m sure it’d be nice if you got dressed up for him too. If she went the extra mile for me I would do the same for her.

Thammuz's avatar

Being comfortable the person is a key element of a successful relationship.

I’d say it’s better if you don’t feel the need to put up a mask with a person you’re in a relationship with, regardless of how long this relationship aims to be.

deni's avatar

I think you’ve got it backwards.

In general if you can’t be around the person you’re dating without wearing a fancy outfit and makeup, your relationship is most likely doomed.

woodcutter's avatar

Naw. It’s also a sign you both can eat really gassy food now.

Bon apatit

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JLeslie's avatar

What? No.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

There’s sloppy as in casual, or sloppy as in bad hygiene. Which one are you talking? If you can’t be casual it’s not a comfortable relationship.

blueiiznh's avatar

It is not a measure of love or like. It is a measure of comfort and being accepted as you are.

It is one thing to want to be presentable to others, but something completely different in being able to just be you and not being judged only for how you look.

You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because you sense they accept you for who you are.

marinelife's avatar

Not at all the standard. You still dress up to impress him or go out, right?

Judi's avatar

Only you know if its “being comfortable” or “taking for granted.”
I think it’s sad when we put on our best appearance for strangers but don’t bother to look good for the ones we love the most. I get guilty of it myself. I’m glad I have the luxury of knowing my hubby loves me and thinks I’m beautiful in my grubbies, but personally, he’s more important to me than any stranger and he’s the person I want to impress the most.

Pachy's avatar

What could be better than being comfortable with one’s s/o?

Coloma's avatar

Being comfortable is EVERYTHING!
As “they” say….” Immature love is hot, mature love is warm.”
It is a relationship myth that one has to be in a perpetual state of lust to consider themsleves to be in love.
Nope, true “love” is about feeling cared for and accepted as you are, warts and all.
Sure, doing things to please your partner is important, but don;t under estimate the power of peaceful acceptance with no pretense.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I think it is important to keep a balance between being comfortable enough to be yourself and becoming a slob or letting yourself go and assuming that they will always be happy to accept that. I don’t feel like I have to be perfectly made up for my boyfriend and love nothing more than lazy days in comfy clothes but I like to make an effort for him too just to remind him how well I can scrub up!!!

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Being comfortable, and letting him see you without makeup or wearing your weekend grungies, likely means that you do love him.

But, I truly believe that partners should never stop courting, wooing, and flirting with each other. Regardless of gender, there’s a line between relaxed and lazy.

Coloma's avatar

^^^ Agreed.Being comfortable is not the same thing as letting yourself go and becoming a sloppy mess. lol

SamandMax's avatar

No. You’re simply used to the guy. You could say you were settling into the mental routine of being in a relationship with him. Best not to pick that sentence to shreds for ‘in-between the lines’ interpretation.

burntbonez's avatar

No, but asking a question like this makes me wonder. You know when you love someone. If you have to ask a question about whether something means you don’t love them, then that must be a question in your mind. If it’s a question, then you must have reason to wonder.

It’s not being too comfortable with someone that means you don’t love them. It’s not loving them that means you don’t love them.

seekingwolf's avatar

I don’t think so. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we live together… Neither of us has ever dressed up for the other. The only time we’ve seen each other dressed up was at the funeral of one of my relatives. So yeah, I don’t dress up for him at and he doesn’t for me. It’s just not who I am. We still love each other to bits. This has no bearing on it.

Pandora's avatar

Being comfortable is different from being lazy. I am comfortable around my husband but it doesn’t mean I crawl out of bed, slap on some clothing with that looks like I pulled it out of a dumpster, don’t bother to run a comb through my hair, or brush my teeth or wash my face in the morning.

I can still dress comfortable and not look like I slept in my car.
Sloppy is a whole different kind of thing to me. I guess it depends on your definition of sloppy. If you walk about all day looking like a homeless person then I would have to say you don’t care about your relationship and there is a chance you don’t like yourself (or depressed).
If by sloppy you mean you simply dress casually and don’t wear make up then that means you feel secure in your relationship.

It never hurts to dress up some times just to keep thing fresh. If you plan to make this a long term relationship than you want to make sure you don’t let yourself slide into a slump where you stop caring about yourself and stop caring about the relationship.

My guess though is you may not care about the relationship and see him more as a companion. I say this because, if you did care you wouldn’t have asked us.

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