What is your real life superpower?

I can detect bullshit at 20 paces.

I could tell you but the government would make me kill you.

@Adirondackwannabe You are usually much wittier than that. I will look away while you do over.

I am capable not of boring people to death, but I can definitly bore them into invisibility.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought I’m off my game this weekend. Not sure why. Okay, but I’m not sure I want to disclose my superpower.

I can tie my shoe laces in the dark.

Just being me.

People I meet seem to like me, and they seem to think that what I say has some validity.

This will come as a great surprise to many on Fluther, who generally think that I am some sort of an asshole. But there you go.

Context is everything.

5 hour erections

Public speaking.
@josie I don’t think you’re an asshole.

An overabundance of empathy.

I’ve always thought I have some weird sobbering power where people tend to clean up after themselves somehow around me. I’ve never liked it though. My closest friends can totally get past my sober beams and behave like crazy fools if they want but strangers and acquaintances don’t seem to have as much luck.

@burntbonez According to advertisements, you’re supposed to see your doctor at once.

I can disappear into myself and not react to anything going on around me.

After certain foods, I can produce vast quantities of natural gas.

My ability to make it seem like everythings okay and that I will take care of anyone who needs taking care of… when really I’m dying inside and struggling myself. Maybe it can be called a “positive” power of deception.

Superdad, Supercool, Super-the-day…tomato, yummy.

I’m an empath. So close to the idea of a supernatural empath, that I hate leaving my house.

I can turn anything into a weapon. For example, I can cut your lip with a Pringle or burn your eyelid with hot wax.

I’ve never tried this on others. These are things that have happened to me. I’m the master of stupid injuries.

I have a powerful odour that only gets stronger as the day goes on.

@ragingloli that’s not the same odor of the bullshit that @janbb was referring to earlier was it? :P

Getting myself into serious academic trouble through hubris and procrastination, and then writing really well, really quickly.

Also, I am very empathetic and a good listener. Which has made me the victim of not a few veteran bores.

Curses, both of these superpowers!

@bookish1 We share the same superpowers. I hope for the sake of the universe that we never meet. The consequences could be catastrophic.

@glacial : Well, we couldn’t both be good listeners at the same time! But we could puff ourselves full of hubris and procrastinate together. It sounds like mutually assured destruction!

@bookish1 Yes – mutually assured self-destruction. ;)

When talking to angry people, I can make them see that they are assholes, and they apologize for it.

I have the patience of a saint.

Kindness and what @Haleth said.

I sometimes dream stuff that then happens the next day so I am ahead of the game!

I’m a cat.

I can read minds. I know what you’re thinking – “that’s impossible”.

@lookingglassx3 WRONG. I was thinking about tacos. Ha.

@WillWorkForChocolate Where I come from, “taco” roughly translates as “not possible”. ;)

How bizarre! Where I come from it means a crunchy, greasy, meat-filled pocket thing. Location, location, location, I guess. :D

@WillWorkForChocolate
Yeah, where I come from it means vagina, too. What a coincidence.

I thought the german for vagina was Hitler, he was a massive cunt after all.

It was, but we changed it to Merkel a few years back and then changed it again to Ratzinger.

oh no, Merkel & vagina are two words that have no place in the same sentence…& yet :-(

I am sure you feel the same about Thatcher..

oh I dunno, straw roofing on cottages looks just divine, so long as its neatly trimmed.

@ragingloli Speak for yourself, my vagina is neither crunchy, nor greasy. :P

Hello, Freedom of Speech. Have you met Too Much Information?

But mooooooom, he started it!

Regardless, no-one wants to know about the condition of your cheese toasty, badly packed kebab or anything else thank you very much!

rofl

that reminds me of this sketch

Wow….that’s going back some

Pausing before acting.

Damn, @mattbrowne. That is probably the superest of super powers I have ever heard of. How the hell did you acquire that one?

@burntbonez – It took decades. Forming new mental habits requires frequent reminders and repetition. I work with pictures in my head. Anger for example is a fire. When I feel angry I visualize a small fire and force myself to observe the fire and tell myself not to add additional fuel (thoughts).

@burntbonez
Simple: He is German.

wow is there some serious flirting going on here? Oh yes super powers – general warmth, forgiveness, understanding, non judgmentalness if thats a word but I have a severe dislike of teachers and thick people who are loud…..

I can play any video game ever made very, very poorly.