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Aey3of6's avatar

How do I tell if someone is lying about smoking?

Asked by Aey3of6 (7points) February 25th, 2013 from iPhone

My 17yr old brother has been caught twice by my parents for smoking. He has recently been granted a pardon from our parents. One night he came home home from work smelling like cigarettes. And since he borrowed my phone, it also stinks. He told me that one of his fellow colleagues started smoking after the majority of people left. I’m wrestling with whether or not to tell our mom on my feelings. How do I tell if he is lying about it? Or do I give him benefit of a doubt? And do I tell my mom?

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14 Answers

livelaughlove21's avatar

It amazes me that kids still think smoking is cool. I wonder if lung cancer is also cool – I guess we’ll see in about 20 years.

He’s lying. How do I know? First, because 17-year-old boys are liars. Two, because he’s trying to save his own ass by making up some bogus story. And three, he’s addicted to nicotine. If he’s been caught twice, imagine how long he’s been smoking on the DL. This means that if this “friend” started smoking and he was around it enough to reek of smoke, he would smoke as well. He couldn’t resist.

Unfortunately, he probably won’t quit until he has a better reason than “mommy and daddy say I can’t.” Should you tell your parents? Eh, your call, it probably won’t help either way. It may stop him from telling you anything from here on out. Trust is a fickle thing.

I must admit I giggled when I read that your parents have him a “pardon” – is this prison?

rooeytoo's avatar

I wouldn’t tell. And this is why, at some point he will decide to stop on his own but no one stops until they themselves want to stop, end of story.

I don’t smoke but I did and to tell the truth I cannot understand the current feelings toward smoking but not alcohol. Alcohol kills so many more people, and ruins lives. There was just a doco on television here last night about alcohol fueled violence.

Anyhow, be thankful he is only smoking and not drinking. At least he won’t smoke some cigs and on the drive home kill himself or someone else.

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Lurkingsheep's avatar

The naughtier it is , the risk of getting caught is part of the lure of it all.Smoking is all about rebellion. Be thankful that its not crack.just try to encourage him to do well. Coming down on him will cause more stress hence more smoking.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Don’t be a rat.

seekingwolf's avatar

He’s a big boy and sadly, he’s at an age where he should know better but doesn’t because he just wants to be rebellious. His own lungs to ruin. At least it’s not like crack, like someone else said.

I would not say anything. Tell him it’s his choice but you won’t be around wiping up his mucus when he’s hacking up cancerous lung goo.

Shippy's avatar

It’s really his issue with your parents. But of course you can tell him it stinks.

JLeslie's avatar

Of course he is lying. I would just ignore it. He knows it’s bad for him.

You can possibly use it later when you want him to not tell your parents something about you. Next time something like this comes up let him know you don’t believe him and you are not stupid. Let him figure out you are doing him a favor, don’t let him get away with him thnking he tricked you.

If he were doing something that immediately could cause harm to himself or others like drunk driving I would definetly say tell your parents, but with this I say just let it lie.

marinelife's avatar

Smoking is a serious addiction that can affect your brother’s health. I would tell.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Leave him alone and don’t snitch. Unless you can prove it, then confront him and tell him you worry, but still don’t snitch him out.

deni's avatar

He will learn his lesson when he dies an early death cause his lungs have decayed. Otherwise, generally, it is hard to sway smokers away from cigarettes. (I think you’ve gotta be kinda an idiot to start in the first place)

wundayatta's avatar

Don’t snitch, but do tell him it bothers you, and you don’t want him stinking up your phone again. Nor do you want him in your room or around you when he smells like smoke, and you don’t care if he smoked or if he just hung around smokers. Either way, it sucks and you don’t want him around you.

Let your parents do the same.

He’s not going to quit for many years, if ever. That’s the bad news. You’ll be doing this for years: inviting him over, but not letting him smoke inside, and maybe even banishing him if he stinks too much from the smokes he took before he arrived.

Maybe if you paint a picture for him of what it will be like, he might try to quit now, but it’s probably too late. He’s probably too weak-willed and dependent to be able to quit. A wimp, if you will. Unable to control himself. Oh well.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Doesn’t sound like your parents are going to do much about it, what with giving him “pardons” and all. He’s a big boy now. Time for him to make his own decisions. What you CAN control, and have the right to control, is how it affects YOU. If he smells like smoke, don’t let him borrow your stuff.

filmfann's avatar

Don’t be a rat. Your parents are smart enough to figure it out.

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