Why do you continue with your shitty attitude?

@josie I really like your question. I can’t stand whiners. Maybe they go on because they don’t have the balls to end it. Life is what you make of it. Yeah, some days are shitty, but some days are golden. Cherish the golden days, forget the shitty days. And cherish your loved ones.

@Adirondackwannabe I have grown to know that you see things this way. That is why I respect your opinions on this site.

Doom & gloom merchants who see nothing but misery & despair, believing their life & eveything in it is shit, I accuse them of a wasted life & that is surely the greatest crime of all.

@josie Thanks.

So few things in life are within our control. We don’t get to vote for the weather. We can’t dictate what other people do, say, or think. Every day is packed with chance incidents that we can’t anticipate and don’t choose; they simply happen.

Yet, I know that there’s one thing that is, indeed, within my control—my attitude. When you think about it in the context of this crazy, unpredictable life, that’s an incredible power to hold.

Whiners are verboten in my life. Haven’t heard one in years. I recognize the cadence of their voices and never get within 10 feet of them. They have their own friendships and don’t need mine.

You are always a rosy drop of a dew @josie. Thanks for the reminder.

I have been struggling with this attitude perception reality, other then all my life, really hard just lately.

I take the good days and try to make them count and even see the silver lining in the bad ones.

I think some of us use Fluther to cope to expel some bad air. But if people are feeling toxified we should be bringing in more cheer. This really is a great place.

Good reminder.

Leave my shit alone and I will leave your shit alone.

I’d say I’m sorry to disappoint you… but I’m not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C equals A, or… whatever. I also don’t have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you’re screwed.
~george lass – dead like me

That has been the hardest thing to deal with in living with my elderly uncle for the past two winters.

I think that life is pretty much wonderful with the occasional “oops” or “aw, shit, darn it” to leaven it and remind us that it’s probably not actually heaven. As he nears the end of his life, my uncle has a diametrically opposed viewpoint that has been exceedingly (and increasingly) difficult to deal with.

Here he is, living in his own home – paid for – with heat, hot water, electricity, people to take care of him, meals every day and enough money in the bank to satisfy his few material wants – but if he points the remote control backwards at the television (for example) and doesn’t notice it right away, or if he drops the newspaper as he’s reading it, then “Everything is fucked up.” And this is said in a tone of real anger and irritation; the fucked-upness of “everything” at that moment is his entire life.

Basically, for him as viewed by someone not in his body, everything is as good as it could be (aside from senility, occasional pain and lack of mobility, etc. – I do recognize that his life is no bed of roses right now), but all he can see, the only thing that it’s possible for him to notice at that moment, is that he has made a silly mistake, and “everything is fucked up”.

Now that I’ve learned that lesson, I hope to recall it in thirty years when I need to know it myself. I believe that I will. (My uncle has always been somewhat of a perfectionist. Now I know why my mother had the problems with him that she did. She wasn’t a perfectionist; she helped me to learn that “it’s okay, even if it could be better”.)

When I see the same attitudes expressed by people in full command of their lives and their faculties, and who can demonstrate the occasional ability to think rationally, it saddens me greatly that all they can see is the “it’s all fucked up” aspects of their quite remarkably comfortable lives. That, to me, is a lot sadder than my senile and crippled uncle having the same attitude and emotions.

When I have a shitty attitude it’s not for long at least because it’s so boring.
I don’t have much patience for people who are finding the problem everywhere they look – if you ask me they are they problem.

If there’s a problem, fix it – or at worst walk away from it. Chronic complaining is no lifestyle.

Whining is a lot like bickering—annoying and habit-forming.

Have you ever spent time with partners who bicker nonstop? They make everyone around them uncomfortable, and they’re not even aware of their behavior. Once they get into a bickering rut, it becomes their usual way of communicating. Snipes and ridicule become the norm.

Same thing with a chronic whiner. Everything gets expressed in terms of complaints and self-pity, and the whiner really doesn’t know how tedious he/she is.

Honest Abe said people are just about as happy as they want to be. Based on that I guess I want to be happy most days. But I don’t think anyone in their right mind can be happy every single day of their life. There is no doubt I have many more happy days than shitty ones, but every now and then, the crappola sneaks in. Oh well, I just wait it out and know that tomorrow will be back to normal again and all will be well. And let’s face it, an occasional shitty day beats your alternative @josie!

Some people do have shit lives. You saying they must think their way out of it? But shitty attitudes come from people with nice lives too. So not sure what you are asking ?

I believe your premise is flawed, and your last couple of questions have motivated me to ask who exactly urinated in your cornflakes this morning.

Also, punk rock answers this question thus:

“Can you say ‘Feel like shit?’ Yeah, maybe sometimes I do feel like shit. I ain’t happy about it, but I’d rather feel like shit than be full of shit. And if I offended you, well I’m sorry, but maybe you need to be offended. So here’s my apology and one more thing: Fuck you.”

I have no room in my life for people with a bad attitude. They can go on their way and be shitty with someone else.

@Seek_Kolinahr Not a very nice answer but worthy of a GA anyhow.

It wasn’t a very nice question, what with the suggestion that we kill ourselves if our lives aren’t all posies and rainbows.

A person can have a shitty life without treating others shitty.

@Seek_Kolinahr Didn’t suggest it. Just asked why not. The logic being if you don’t end it, then it must not be that shitty. And if it is really not that shitty, why have a shitty attitude? The logic there being attitude is usually a matter of personal choice. It is not that complicated. I am not smart enough to come up with complicated questions.

@jonsblond – that is an important distinction!

My daughter made a poster when she was 11. “A bad attitude is like a flat tire: you aren’t going to get very far until you change it!”

I have a generally good attitude, even when bad things happen. Need to cry? I’ve got tissues for shoulders. My mother always said, “If you see someone walking down the street with no smile, give them one of yours.”

My goal in life is to leave every place (situation, relationship, person, etc) I come into contact with a little better off for it.

@Yetanotheruser I think you would like the following quote I’ve had on my profile page for a couple years now: Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? You definitely have an attitude worth catching.

Walmart= birthplace of the shitty attitude

@Seek_Kolinahr I like your answer. I can identify with the punk attitude.
@josie I’ve been thinking about this question because I know I can be guilty as charged, having a shitty attitude. I don’t think life is shitty by nature but it can be shitty at times so let’s call a spade a spade. I’m not even going to delve into the reasons why I can sometimes have the attitude. I’m not going to answer from a personal perspective. I had a metaphorical insight that I want to relate for what it’s worth.

Here it is.
The difference in attitude has a lot to do with confidence. A confident person tends to react to life’s shittier aspects by redoubling efforts and in general not letting it bother them too much. It’s taken as part of life and as they say, this too shall pass.

In general I find that people tend to think of confidence as either something you have or something you don’t. I don’t think of it that way at all. I think attaining unshakeable confidence is a near impossible feat. I don’t think it’s a static quality or something that once you have it you can’t lose it. You may have faith in yourself overall and not feel confident at times.

To me, confidence is like a piggy bank. Life gives you or you build up deposits. With love, success, a good self image and people who believe in you and support you emotionally you can build up your stores of confidence.
But life’s stresses and difficulties small and large result in debentures and withdrawals on your piggy bank of confidence. Bit by bit it gets depleted and it’s necessary to continually build it up and restore it otherwise you risk getting wiped out. Minor things can be remedied by a hug, a pep talk, exercise, meditation, religion, music, positive self talk, etc,whatever works for you.

Sometimes a major life event like a business failure, a divorce or a physical impairment or injury gives you a major setback. Your funds may be almost or completely wiped out. Now you have not much more to go on but your faith in yourself and all of the things that first built up your confidence account. Maybe some of those things aren’t around anymore. Maybe you no longer have youth, health, or family. Maybe you have failed in a major way and feel like time is running out. Maybe something you have always depended on, the wind beneath your wings so to speak has vanished. So you start over, or try to. People have amazing tenacity and self endurance. The will to survive is strong but life can be very frustrating.

So you start to build up your piggy bank again. Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you can’t rally. You are tired, hurt, discouraged, angry, cynical…some or all of the above. So you become fatalistic. You complain. You have a bad attitude. It doesn’t mean you’re willing to cash in your last remaining chips in the game of life, cause like I said, the will to live is strong. Misery loves company and that’s not hard to find. Sure, it’‘d be great to not feel this way and maybe some day you’ll rally and you’ll get back on the horse. But in the meantime, you complain.

If you’re a perfectionist it’s hard because you want life to be a certain way that it just never is. You keep trying and trying. Not only do others not live up to your hopes and expectations, but usually you cannot live up to them either. But you seem to be constitutionally unable to cut yourself some slack. So it’s tough. You make it tougher for yourself by being a perfectionist but it’s hard to let go of.

Some people seem to have more ability to weather life’s storms. I think having a happy childhood helps by giving you a reserve of good feelings and faith in humanity. On the other hand, maybe having suffered abuse and survived it makes you a stronger person and more resilient, hard to say.

@Earthgirl – Suicidal Tendencies is playing in my town, at the venue at which I am furniture, on March 31st. I. Am. Stoked.

I tried to end my shitty life, it just wasn’t my time, now I get to unleash my wrath on all of you guys. Thanks God. Evil laugh. Echo, echo.

Hey don’t blame me, I tried to end my shitty life, it just wasn’t my time, now I get to unleash my wrath on all of you guys. Thanks God. Evil laugh. Echo, echo. My last warning.
┏━━━┓
┃┃┃┃┣┓
┗┻┻┻┻┛