Why can't I wake up?

Okay so I’m an 18 year old girl and for the past year, it’s been almost impossible to get myself out of bed in the mornings. It’s not that I don’t want to get up—I often oversleep and miss things I’m really looking forward to.

I have had tried a whole litany of alarm clocks, each more absurd than the last. One of them had wheels on the bottom and would literally jump off of the bedside table while ringing, and roll around the room. To turn it off, you had to get up and grab it. It often involved a chase. But after a few weeks of that working, my unconscious brain learned to guess when the alarm clock was about to jump off my bedside table, and I could literally catch it and go back to sleep.

My next alarm clock was called the Sonic Boom, and it had a vibrating element that you put under your mattress or your pillow. It literally shook you out of bed. It was also the loudest alarm clock on the market. It was intended for the deaf or hearing impaired. I have perfect hearing and that thing got LOUD. It woke up everyone in the house. But after a week or two that stopped working for me as well.

And then I came to my last hope—the cell phone alarm clock. There was an app for that. It was called “I Can’t Wake Up”, and featured a series of tasks it would make you perform before you could make the thing shut up. It would continued to ring even if the phone was turned off. It made me do math, shake the phone for 30 seconds, solve puzzles, and even find barcodes around my room to scan. It was perfect! Finally, something worked. But lo and behold, a few days back that stopped working too.

I’m at my wit’s end. I get on average six or seven hours of sleep a night. This is starting to seriously screw with my life. Either I sleep through my alarm, or I disable it, however complicated it might be to do so, while I’m asleep.

Help, please!!!