Have you ever gone to a friend's house for an evening, and felt like you were watching a video of "How to raise your child to be a brat?"?

I see this all the time. Some kids are easier than others and some people just don’t have the backbone to be parents.

I see this all the time. Unfortunately some parents don’t see the behavior as bad, or annoying or potentially stunting of the emotional maturity of their kid. Not exactly sure why. I can only imagine that they think all kids are like this, because their kids are the only ones they interact with on a regular basis.

I also think that some parents are simply too worn out from having both parents work and having a difficult child that they’re simply in no condition to stand up and do what is needed to rectify the problem, even if they know there is a problem. Sometimes these folks become numb to the problems that are obvious to everyone else.

Then there’s some others (like one of my close friends) who thinks her naughty children are perfectly normal little darlings. She doesn’t recognize a problem and doesn’t seem upset or exasperated by them. Even when they scream, intterupt others when they’re having a conversation, don’t follow instructions, or wear age inappropriate clothing, or smoke pot in her home (she has 3 ranging in age from 10 to 21)

And then there’s some (my SIL is a teacher and has some parents like these) who view their children as special and much more intelligent than everyone else’s kids, and because of that thinking, they believe that their child can do no wrong and deserve special attention. Even if their kid is failing in school, not following instructions, is constantly disrupting the class and other children, or is bullying other children, or having serious emotional meltdown problems. Those parents tend to show up in class, unannounced, without an appointment, sometimes right in the middle of class, or during the teacher’s lunch hour, and demand that the teacher do a better job or else the parent will see to it that the teacher is fired. Those parents also send endless e-mails and make constant phone calls, while at the same time, failing to follow the written instructions that were given to them at the beginning of the school year. Things such as how and when to contact the teacher, signing documents, making sure that the children’s home work is completed and returned on time. Those parents can’t be bothered with those things. Because don’t forget, their child is special and not subject to the rules that everyone else must go by.

And some people should never have been allowed to procreate in the first place. Some people are not emotionally mature enough to raise children. Some people just like little kids, but do not have any idea of what it actually takes to raise healthy, sane, emotionally intelligent people.

Wow. GA @Kardamom.

Yeah, been there. I’ll be at a friend’s house and the kid will do something so outrageous that my eyes go wide in shock and I’m on my feet and moving, ready to rain some holy terror down on that child…but only in my mind. I have to physically stop myself, and remind myself it’s not my kid, not my place. Slays me how a kid can kick or punch a dog or whatever, and the parent just mildly says, “Don’t do that junior. That’s not nice.” It also makes me wonder how the kid is actually treated when company isn’t there.

@Dutchess_III I call that The Tyler Syndrome because invariably I’ll be at the grocery store, or the bank, or at the movies and some soccer mom with a kid named Tyler (or Jaden, or Ashton) will start in, “Tyler. Tyler, honey. Tyler please put that down. Tyler, mommy wants you to put that down. Tyler! Honey, mommy wants you to put that down. Tyler. Honey. Tyler, what do you have in your hand? Tyler? I’m counting! One. Tyler. Honey put that down. Mommy’s counting to 10. One. Tyler. Two. Tyler! Honey, put that down. What did you just pick up?”

Everyone else in the establishment is rolling their eyes, gnashing their teeth and thinking if she would just grab that thing out of his hand, grab him by the arm, drop her purchases and exit the store immediately, the problem would be solved.

I’m sorry, but I’m still all for the instant smack on the hand or the butt in certain situations. Forget all of the bargaining shite. I pretty much raised one of my grandsons (Ryan). Then he wound up with a little bro, Blake, and Mom started doing a better job of taking care of her own kids. One day we three, my two grandsons and me, were together at the store, and the little bro was messing with something at the check out line that he shouldn’t have been. I quietly told him to “Put that down.” He did…then picked it back up. Ryan, my oldest grandson, whom I had had raised, said, “Uh oh…” Like a snake striking, I smacked my younger grandsons hand pretty hard! Blake started crying and Ryan says, “Well, just ‘cause she didn’t yell doesn’t mean she wasn’t serious, Blake!”
You don’t have to yell, and, above all, you sure don’t negotiate.

Ugh! Yes, I then avoid those friends. Afterall I came to vist them not a kid. I don’t know why people parent like this now. And how those kids turn out.

They turn out on drugs and irresponsibly unemployed. But..they’re 30 years old and they’re still special so it’s OK.
When my kids would get upset with me over something I’d disciplined them for I’d say, “I wasn’t put on this earth to make you happy.” I think too many parents think that their job is to make sure their kids are “happy.” Well, happy is the end result of good parenting.

Yeah, it was all of those things guys…and other things, much more subtle. My friend disappeared for a while and I could hear her talking to the boy, saying “Yes, we gotta wipe your butt!” Then she comes out and says, in front of the kid, “He just stood in the middle of his room and took a dump in his pants! And then I had shit to clean up!” (Funny, ha ha.) It seemed to me that that was just wrong on so many levels. If she’d said “He had an accident and we had to get him cleaned up,” it would have at least given the kid some benefit of the doubt, even if he DID do it on purpose. But the announcement, as it was, the language…I was taken aback. I can’t put my finger on why it seems like it’s wrong to use those kinds of words around kids.

@Windmill, it probably made the poor little kid ashamed : (

@Windmill The child was robbed of his dignity, poor little guy.

Oh man, I have had several friends ( ex friends now, lol) over the years with kids that were totally out of control. I don’t know WTF is WRONG with some people. haha
Always screaming, crying, fighting, whining, disrupting, destroying stuff, running amok.
I am glad I only had one, well behaved daughter.

I don’t think I could have handled a herd of 3 or 4. Dear effing Gawd!

I am starting to wonder how much of it is the kids’ personality. I have a friend who is NOT a lazy parent. She constantly disciplines her 2 year old son, but he screeches and screams and constantly throws tantrums no matter what she does.

My daughter is the opposite. She is almost always happy and almost never throws tantrums except when she’s really tired. People talk to me about “time out” and other discipline tricks. Except to get my daughter to stop running into the street, I have NEVER had to discipline her. She’s just easygoing and I don’t think she could be a brat if she tried. I don’t think it has anything to do with how I raise her. It’s just the way she is.

And I’m not one of those moms who thinks their kids can do no wrong. I always have people comment on how well behaved she is and ask me what I do to get her to act like that. I shrug. I have no idea except that my mother in law says my husband was like this as a little kid. She sure didn’t get it from me. I was a brat.