General Question

StarlessNight's avatar

Being rude or just minding my own business?

Asked by StarlessNight (41points) March 28th, 2013

I had a crush on a girl at my college she was new and I wanted to take my time with her and get to know her slowly and just overall be friendly. (The reason why I didn’t get her, taking time).

So she’s dating my bestfriend who, in all honesty, I and few other friends of the new girl, believe he doesn’t have what it takes. Now it’s not all said in hatred. Yes he’s still my friend but personally I find it hard to talk to him or her.

The problem is I’m wondering whether I am being outright rude to them both. For example(s), when I see them walking together towards me, I either ignore them and walk past or turn the other way. Another one is that, we are on the ferry together and I ignore her. Again, this isn’t done in hatred, I just can’t converse with either of them. I’d like to know if this is being rude. Because all I want to ‘say’ is that, I’m happy for you two and I don’t want to be involved anymore. Thoughts and criticisms?

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7 Answers

orlando's avatar

Why not just say what you want to say? “I’m happy for you two and I don’t want to be involved anymore.” That would clear the air and let you all know where you stand with each other. Otherwise your behavior—although perfectly natural and understandable in this situation—might be misinterpreted as rude, yes.

Prosb's avatar

Since they don’t know your true feelings, it may come across as rude, despite you only wishing the best for them. If you don’t want to tell them why you are this way around them, then they can only come to a conclusion based on what they know. It’s up to you to set things straight, or wait for the relationship to fall to the wayside.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

They may take your actions as jealousy if you are not careful.

Personally, I don’t think you’re being intentionally rude or minding your own business. It sounds more like you feel awkward around them and possibly even tongue-tied.

rooeytoo's avatar

Put yourself in their positions, how would you feel about someone treating you this way? Your answer to that question is the answer to your original question!

LuckyGuy's avatar

You are not the first person in the world to feel this way. Read this question from someone feeling similar thoughts. Ypou will see the similarities.

If I saw them, I would stand tall, shoulders back, smile, and talk with them. Be friendly. – even though your heart is breaking. Talk about some subject you have in common: plans for holiday, school, college, job… Ask questions. Just be there. Smile and pretend it does not hurt.

Welcome to Fluther. I’m sorry you are here under such difficult circumstances for you.

marinelife's avatar

You are being rude and your jealousy is very apparent.

You should acknowledge them by speaking if you know them.

You don’t have to engage in a long conversation.

zenvelo's avatar

Yes, you are being rude, and your behavior reflects poorly on you. Be pleasant and say hello, you don’t need to be in a long conversation.

This behavior means that if they do break up, she still won’t go out with you, because of the way you are reacting.

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