Meta Question

Melonking's avatar

Should I leave fluther?

Asked by Melonking (1221points) June 13th, 2008

I got this comment from one of the other Fluther members, they are a member who has been with Fluther for a long time and so I respect there judgement this is the comment they left.

Dear Melon; have you considered eliminating all the capital letters, the truly terrible misspellings, the need to repeat letters and punctuation over and over and the typing drama? We all would take your answers more seriously if you toned things down. Now, we see only a silly youngster. I am sure that you are better than that.
Your techniques are neither cute nor charming. How old are you? And if your only interests are Apple and wii, perhaps you should consider how you answer.

So as I can see they don’t like me very much, I was just wondering if you all feel this way?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

82 Answers

brownlemur's avatar

I don’t think that the person doesn’t like you, I think he/she is letting you know how to improve the quality of your contributions to this site. The great thing about a site like this is that we can learn from each other. If someone offers criticism, don’t take it as an insult. See how you can learn from what the other members say.

wildflower's avatar

I wouldn’t miss your caps and obvious ignoring of spell checker (sed=said and maby=maybe) – but that doesn’t mean you have to leave.

PupnTaco's avatar

If you feel the comment was harassing, contact the admins of the site. Everyone’s welcome here as far as I know.

emilyrose's avatar

You should stay but consider using the spell check so it makes your questions and answers easier to read. and go easy on caps, that drives people crazy : )

SquirrelEStuff's avatar

Something I like about the Internet, is that you tend to hear more truth than in real life, because people tend to have bigger balls, since they will never actually meet the people they speak to. Take it as a lesson learned and choose whether or not you will improve in that area.

robmandu's avatar

yah… stay! We’re all annoying in our own ways. And most of us are ever-improving (b/c we need to.)

Take the suggestions. Ignore (any perceived) vitriol.

And enjoy the Fluther.

Melonking's avatar

I put lodes of time and work into my answers, I think about how ppl will take them and if it is worth answering, I was borne with a spelling disorder and I cant help that. I try to put info into my comments whenever I can and I try to make them funny too, to give ppl a bit of a laugh.

wildflower's avatar

See now, that post right there!! That’s getting closer to what we want to see, fully typed out words and only capitalized in the right places – see, you live and learn!
Fluther on, fellow-jelly :)

just fix: lodes= loads, borne=born and ppl=people and you’re on the right track

Breefield's avatar

Melonking, spelling disorder is one thing, trying to save time is another. And to some people THIS is like yelling (to me it is).

Althought I haven’t noticed your self proclaimed behavior, it does sound somewhat annoying.
Leaving is your choice.

Melonking's avatar

So no one actually likes my answers, I think I will just disappear for a while good bye. Don’t worry I will still finish that Fluther new Q’s widget I have been working on.

iwamoto's avatar

i don’t want to be “that” guy, but, if you won’t change, i won’t exactly be sad if you leave

AstroChuck's avatar

Fluther is for all. You mustn’t leave the family. I embrace you as a fluther-in-arms.

Spargett's avatar

Oh please. A little sensitive?

jrpowell's avatar

Here are a few hints. Don’t use all caps. What you have to say isn’t that important. And don’t make dumb comments in serious threads. If someone asks a real question don’t reply if you can’t help. Make the jokes in questions about what people are having for dinner. Not in the ones about how to solve a problem.

robmandu's avatar

So far, I count 9 quips that either expressly call for you to stay and/or suggest improvements to your Answers.

Sounds to me like folks care and want you to stay. I don’t think it can get any better than that.

Notreallyhere's avatar

I get criticism all the time. Don’t let that get to you. If they take capital letters as yelling, just tell them that you are not trying to, you are just typing louder so they can hear you better

PupnTaco's avatar

Hint: no one’s going to beg you to stay. Get over yourself, you’ll like it.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Just be yourself. Whatever happens happens. Just have fun, this is NOT an exam. If they don’t like your comments to bad. I don’t like everybody here either

Harp's avatar

While the person who sent you that comment had some valid suggestions, I would suggest that he/she is as impaired in his/her interpersonal skills as you are in your spelling. We’ve all got our deficiencies.

Melonking's avatar

Ok I’m not going but, don’t expect when to ever be the same. The fun has gone out of it.

wildflower's avatar

You are being just a tad overdramatic, you have to admit. Take the feedback, do with it as you please. If you expect others to accept you, you have to accept them too.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Yeah. We can still make fun of you…great.

edmartin101's avatar

All you need to do is give out genuine answers that come from your heart and mind. We are all here to share what we know and what we don’t know we do a search or ask a question to the collective. If you don’t know how to spell a word, welcome to the club, I bet your horses nobody here gets their T’s correctly spelled all the time. We are here to live and learn from each other, to joke and be serious, to make friends and sometimes enemies. If people criticize you in a constructive way then you ought to thank them, if they do it in a derogative way, show them your finger like wildflower does.

PupnTaco's avatar

I just wanted to take this opportunity to announce that I’m very hurt. I’m leaving and I’m taking my crayons with me. You won’t have ol’ Dave to kick around anymore!

Stocky's avatar

I dont know you and havent been here that long, but this whole conversation seems very “highscoolish” and overdramatic

wildflower's avatar

Nooooo pupntaco, don’t go!! (and I’m not just saying that because I’ve gotten so attached to that purple crayon, honest!)

PupnTaco's avatar

OK, I’m back, but I won’t enjoy it. You’ll see. Just you wait.

wildflower's avatar

fine! be like that! I won’t colour with you any more then!! :P

PupnTaco's avatar

Well, never mind I just now decided to stay & enjoy it. My drama is miniscule.

edmartin101's avatar

@PupnTaco you are laughing at me!!! I’m hurt

wildflower's avatar

W00t! ......umm….can I borrow that purple crayon?

PupnTaco's avatar

Purple Lurve Crayons for everybody in the room.

…hey, that’d make a good cocktail name. Hmm…..

wildflower's avatar

I’d drink it! Just like Homer, my favorite flavor is purple!

edmartin101's avatar

@PupnTaco Purple Lurve crayons…....wow! you made my day

marinelife's avatar

Melonking: Be who you are. Do not depend on the opinions of others to decide whether or not to participate. That said, the skin of you melon seems a little thin. A comment about your spelling and formatting in posts is not a comment about you as a person.

robmandu's avatar

< < adding Purple Lurve Crayons to list of possible band names.

syz's avatar

While it is hard to accept criticism in any way but personally, it was politely worded criticism. Perhaps you could try to take it as constructive and move on?

benseven's avatar

Don’t take it personally dude, as they didn’t know you had a spelling disorder. Try and take on board some of this feedback and stick around. Man up!

bridold's avatar

@wildflower I completely agree with what you say.

This seems more like an attempt to gain attention than anything.

@PupnTaco LOL… that is all.

Harp's avatar

Here’s a way that the same advice could have been offered without the belittling overtone:

“Dear Melon; I’d like to offer a couple of suggestions that might help your posts fit in better with the generally accepted protocol here. You tend to use a lot of capital letters, multiple punctuation marks and other unorthodox formatting, all of which make reading more difficult. There are also frequent spelling errors, which could be easily avoided by using a spell checker (if you don’t know how to do this, please feel free to ask me). In discussion groups like this, people form judgments of users based on such things, so you may find that people relate to you better if you pay more attention to these details.”

playthebanjo's avatar

You should probably leave fluther if that is how you feel. If you decide later on that you want to reestablish yourself as part of the community there won’t be anything stopping you. Or start a new user account and let the old one die. It’s all up to you.

Dog's avatar

The first time my art was taken to a critique I was taken aback that my best creation was so deeply imperfect in the eyes of others.

It took soul searching to determine how I should process the information given: blow it all off and continue to do as I had done or take the insight offered and use it to better myself.

Once I saw through the eyes of others how my work was percieved I was able to improve on it. The lessons I learned reached to the next work and the next. Constructive criticism has helped me achieve a level of workmanship that I never dreamed possible.

This is just such a case- learn and grow. The contact you received was a gift- the user took the effort to contact you to help you.

Typed by a severe dyslexic who uses spell-check.

Notreallyhere's avatar

In other words: Who needs schools when we have Fluther

iwamoto's avatar

so…is he gone ?

Harp's avatar

Wait a minute…Dog, if you’re a severe dislexic, does that mean that your real name is…no, can’t be…

Melonking's avatar

Hmm Harold and the Purple Crayon is a funny book.

Melonking's avatar

That dam crayon guy is making fun of me , well I will stay and I will enjoy it. Haha just to anoy you ha

Melonking's avatar

Oh no now I’m doing just what he did, how evil of him all the doors are closed.

Melonking's avatar

P.S. Sorry for all the comments but I wanted to say that I didant mean to say “Fine I will stay but I won’t enjoy it” Iment that I would be too embraced to ever be the same way, its my fualt for acting like that, I have got to try and rember to eat more.

TheHaight's avatar

I really can’t answer your question because I’m debating if I should too.

Dog's avatar

@harp- You never know…. ;)

Harp's avatar

What’s up, TheHaight?

tupara's avatar

@melonking, don’t let the bastards grind you down, stay, and fight for your right to misspell and use caps if you want to. Stand up to the bullies. I’ve got your back, buddy. You stay too @TheHaight.

iwamoto's avatar

why do you have his back ? we’re no bullies, we’re honoust,
just to be clear, i warned him subtle, but when i read someone had just send him messages, i was thinking “ah good, now i don’t have to” i mean, sometimes someone just doesn’t fit in, sure that’s a shame when someone leaves,
but hey, i also think it’s a shame the orange box doesn’t run native on OS X, but there’s nothing i can do with that, it’s still a good game… i could write angry letters to valve, but that wouldn’t solve anything, sometimes it’s just better to let go….

TheHaight's avatar

I’ll PM you, Harp.
Lets just say its not how it used to be, and for personal reasons, certain comments aout religion drive me insane.
@tupara; thanks. Maybe I will,...

tupara's avatar

@iwamoto, it’s meant as a simple gesture of support. I’ve never had any trouble understanding melonking and I don’t see the problem with capitals or bold type or italics or whatever people want to use. When I see a post that is there merely to point out a spelling mistake, that’s when my eyes start rolling.

iwamoto's avatar

sure, i always incorporate an answer to the question into my complaint, it’s just that i have the feeling it doesn’t work, because, yeah, sometimes it just doesn’t work…

PupnTaco's avatar

Is there a full moon tonight or something?

iCeskate's avatar

fluthers been rude to me too and I’m considering leaving to yahoo answers

edmartin101's avatar

yahoo answers? is that as fun as Fluther?

iCeskate's avatar

actually yes they give more respect there unlike this site where I am constantly disrespected

So melonking, leave!

edmartin101's avatar

I’ll give it a try, thanks, but I’ll stay in Fluther

wildflower's avatar

TheHaight, surely not! You can’t go…..please. :(

andrew's avatar

@thehaight: Will you PM me if you’re thinking of leaving? Either way, I like to have my finger on the fluther pulse, especially when people are unhappy.

MisterBlueSky85's avatar

So wait, it’s a BAD thing that the Fluther community requires proper grammar and spelling? Cuz I always thought that was a good thing.

@MelonKing: I think you’re a mediocre poster. Sometimes I like what you say, sometimes I don’t. I’ve given you lurve in the past, but if you want to leave, I say go for it. You’ve made your mark on Fluther, obviously, so maybe it’s time to move on. But for the record, if you or anyone else feels disrespect here, it’s probably for your annoying typing and spelling, not for what you’re actually trying to say. Don’t take it too personally, dig?

Stocky's avatar

Im starting to feel like people are taking this site a little too personally both sides included, If your thinking of leaving because of comments made by people that have never even met you except on fluther maybe you need to have a thicker skin, There will always be people that dissagree with you. With that said for somebody to make a comment to someone about the quality of there answers or proper use of grammar it seems a little on the obsessive side to care enough. Its only a website albeit a very good one. But here I am chiming in as well so im gonna take my own advice and leave it alone and go back to reality

TheHaight's avatar

Sigh… How could I ever leave fluther.. Wildflower; your Hello Kitty avatar telling me not to leave just melts my heart! ;)

benseven's avatar

I think Fluther is unusually close-knit for a web community comprised of essentially strangers, and as such it’s very easy for people to end up feeling more emotionally involved. The feeling of having misrepresented yourself can cause frustration and hurt because a lot of the ways we normally interact and learn about who someone is are filtered out when they’re no more than an avatar and a posting style – you can’t pick up body language, little nuances about how they speak, etc… I think this is why folks can get involved in spats and take them more personally than they should for what is essentially an honest but anonymous discussion…

I don’t think anyone should leave Fluther, I think sometimes you just have to eat humble pie and admit you were wrong / spelt badly / picked on someone unfairly, and move on. These are very ‘First World’ problems to be worrying about!

wildflower's avatar

Yaay! :)
This place wouldn’t be the same without you (and your much appreciated tattoo advice ;) )

SquirrelEStuff's avatar

I hear nothing but waaaaaaaaaa!

Can I get a waaaaburger with those French cries?

If you have an issue, here’s a tissue.

Its the Internet. Pretend like you are a tough guy and fight back. Unless of course, you’re wrong, then you’ll just look stupid.

PupnTaco's avatar

An interesting thought came to me about Fluther last night: I don’t know if we are a community in the typical Interwebs sense. Message boards and the like have people drawn together by common interests, so they may be more likely to overlook minor differences. Fluther, on the other hand, has no such unifying theme – in fact it relies on wide-ranging differences for its vitality.

So maybe we need to work on letting the little things go for the better good of Fluther? I’m as guilty as the next of nitpicking spelling, grammar, and punctuation. It pains me to see the lack of proper education in our country. But for my part, I’ll try to let it go.

AstroChuck's avatar

PupnTaco- Just want to point out that you are putting only one space between sentences when two is what’s proper.
Shame on you!

Harp's avatar

When you throw people into any environment where our customary social templates aren’t in force, some “interesting” behaviors surface.

The social ground rules of the net are still up for grabs, so people feel free to interact with others in very different ways than they would out in the world. There’s a form of “natural selection” at work that will eventually result in some behaviors being rejected as not being well adapted to social order. But we’re sure not there yet, so yes, it pays to have a thick skin.

That said, every user has a part to play in determining how that internet social order evolves. Some like the relative lawlessness of the net and prefer the kind of rough and tumble environment that the real world frowns upon. Others push back at that and want to see our social interactions here more closely reflect the civility of our outside lives.

Personally, I’m a “pusher backer”. My fear is that as the internet comes to dominate more and more of our lives, whatever behaviors are spawned on the net will bleed out into society at large, and I’m determined to preserve every scrap of civility that I can. The people behind these avatars are a lot more important to me than the format of their posts.

marinelife's avatar

@Astrochuck Actually, according to the Gregg Manual one space after the end of a sentence is correct. See this ;)

Notreallyhere's avatar

Who the hell said that: capital=yelling?
Maybe using black letters is racism.

PupnTaco's avatar

@ chuck: au contrere, mon frere. Two spaces after a period is a relic of typewriters and teletypes. Modern typesetting provides for proper letterspacing. See “The Mac is Not a Typewriter,” Robin Williams’ excellent and concise style guide.

Crap, there I go again.

thebeadholder's avatar

Is he still on here?

AstroChuck's avatar

Dammit! I say it’s two spaces and if you don’t like it I’m taking my ball and going home!
Besides, I’m wearing my fluther tee-shirt today. I’m never wrong when I wear that.

iwamoto's avatar

i think he’s gone, oh well, i’m not missing him yet, maybe it’s just like breaking uo, first you think good riddance, then comes the “i never liked him” fase, then the “oh god i want him back” fase…

Melonking's avatar

Well you should get AstroChuck to lend you his t-shirt, I’m not gone thanks to such ppl as Tupara.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther