Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Do you get frustrated with people who walk in to a convenience store in their pajamas AND slippers, and buy candy and pop with food stamps?

Asked by Dutchess_III (40029points) April 8th, 2013

I’m not dissing on people who use food stamps. I’ve had them myself in the past. I’ve been in utter poverty in the past, But it just seems like a sign of complete and utter laziness, though, when people don’t even bother to get dressed to go out and about, and then buy pop and candy with our money. I want to ask, “Are you even TRYING to get out of that rut?”

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394 Answers

Inspired_2write's avatar

I do not get frustrated with that.
But it makes for a fun world , doesn’t it?

KNOWITALL's avatar

It is frustrating. I try to be loving and not judge, but the thought does run across my mind.

When my husband was unable to work or revceive unemployment due to three knee surgeries, we were declined for food stamps because I made too much money. I had to pay a mortgage, all his medical bills, home bills, food, lights, everything by myself and make @ $30k per year.

Our system is broken.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes, it is. One time my children were turned down for state medical because I made $5 a month over their imaginary poverty line. I think I grossed $15,000 that year.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Try not to judge people until all the facts about them are available.
These people could be ill or on rehab etc
Depressed people have to muster all there strength just to get out of the house etc
I used to work in a convenience store and saw much worse.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Invariably they are young people, @Inspired_2write. I never saw people out and about in pajamas until about 10 years ago. I don’t see any excuses.

DigitalBlue's avatar

Nope.
It’s none of my business. I don’t know them, I don’t know their story, and it’s hard to guess with that teensy little bit of information… so I’d rather not jump to conclusions and make up my own version of their story with which to pass judgment. Just doesn’t do anything for me.

marinelife's avatar

I don’t judge others. Perhaps the person was up all night caring for a sick relative.

Since my life is not perfect, I don’t even waste the energy trying to figure out what makes other tick.

However, if someone did do that, what’s it ti you?

Dutchess_III's avatar

@marinelife because we’re paying their bills out of our taxes! That’s what it is to me. I do NOT mind helping people who need it. Not at all. But for crying out loud, TRY to get out of that rut. Anybody who has the mindset that it’s fine to wear pajamas to the store because they’re too lazy to put on street clothes is just free loading, IMO. If they’re too lazy to get dressed, they’re too lazy to get a job.

dontmindme's avatar

People who judge others for the clothes they wear frustrate me.

Inspired_2write's avatar

I was not making excuses for them, rather pointing out a different perspective.
I saw a lot of this for 17 years.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Lazy people frustrate me.

Judi's avatar

I think it’s a lose lose proposition.My sister used to get dirty looks for dressing nice because she bought groceries after work. You never know a persons situation.
“Junk Food” & Luxury Items
The Food and Nutrition Act of 2008 (the Act) defines eligible food as any food or food product for home consumption and also includes seeds and plants which produce food for consumption by SNAP households. The Act precludes the following items from being purchased with SNAP benefits: alcoholic beverages, tobacco products, hot food and any food sold for on-premises consumption. Nonfood items such as pet foods, soaps, paper products, medicines and vitamins, household supplies, grooming items, and cosmetics, also are ineligible for purchase with SNAP benefits.

Soft drinks, candy, cookies, snack crackers, and ice cream are food items and are therefore eligible items
Seafood, steak, and bakery cakes are also food items and are therefore eligible items

Since the current definition of food is a specific part of the Act, any change to this definition would require action by a member of Congress. Several times in the history of SNAP, Congress had considered placing limits on the types of food that could be purchased with program benefits. However, they concluded that designating foods as luxury or non-nutritious would be administratively costly and burdensome.
Source

DigitalBlue's avatar

Laziness isn’t generally a positive trait, but you can’t decide that someone is lazy because you don’t care for how they’re dressed. Younger generations don’t necessarily put as much weight into how someone is dressed compared to older generations, from what I have seen. I think it’s utterly silly to get dressed to run up to the corner store. That has nothing to do with laziness, it’s a pretty pointless thing in the first place. Those are a lot of assumptions based on something frivolous.

And, just to be clear, I do get dressed to go to the corner store and I also have never received food stamps or any other related type of assistance.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I ate like a Queen when I had food stamps. We got so much. Crab legs, steak, whatever I wanted to buy.
My daughter is currently on food stamps. She expressed frustration with people who buy things like hamburger helper with food stamps and crap, rather than fresh food, and fresh fruits and veggies.

cheebdragon's avatar

I guess its better than ordering a pizza with food stamps.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Pizza is better for you than chips and pop and candy bars.
@DigitalBlue there ARE clues that a person is lazy, and I think that’s one of them.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Judi Why on earth would people give your sister dirty looks for being dressed nicely??

bkcunningham's avatar

We went to Epcot yesterday. Every place I looked there were very overweight young people walking around half-dressed like they owned the world. Young couples walking arm-in-arm and the young person’s breasts, belly and/or ass would be protruding from some outfit that was three sizes too small. It was mind boggling to me. People in pajamas in public is another oddity that is becoming more and more common. I find it strangely fascinating. It is almost like a train wreck. I don’t want to watch, but I can’t turn away.

CWOTUS's avatar

Why should I care how others dress themselves? The notion seems absurd.

cheebdragon's avatar

I’ll wear pajama pants in public, I don’t give a fuck because they are cute with little skulls and colorful stars. I have never been on food stamps though.

So you would rather people stay at home and get delivery pizza with their food stamps, as long as you don’t have to see them in their pajamas?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Again, @CWOTUS, because it’s our taxes paying for their junk food, the taxes we pay because we get up and dress nicely every morning and go to work, and they’re too damn lazy to put on pants and a pair of shoes.

Judi's avatar

@Dutchess_III , Because she looked to nice to need food stamps. That was back when they were actually paper curency and not an ATM card.

woodcutter's avatar

Buying any kind of BS with food stamps bugs me. It kind of tells me these people don’t have enough self respect to at least prepare a minimal meal with decent foodstuffs which at a 7–11 is going to be hard to find. Or get some clothes on, and at least appear to have some dignity. I could be reading them wrong, perhaps,but I think I have them pegged. They clearly have lost how to take care of themselves.

Judi's avatar

@woodcutter , more than that, lost hope.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@cheebdragon. Yes. It’s rude to flaunt it in our faces.

Oh, @Judi. You didn’t mention she used food stamps. I got dirty looks for using food stamps, but I’m not sure if it was because I was dressed nicely after a day of teaching, or just because I was USING food stamps. It embarrassed the hell out of me.

CWOTUS's avatar

I didn’t answer about food stamps; I was merely commenting on the manner of dress. Is formal attire now de rigeur for shopping with food stamps in Kansas?

woodcutter's avatar

And if someone wants to help them out they will complain they are being judged. Because any kind of help that suggests they will have to do something themselves will not be welcomed. They are allowing themselves to stay trapped in their funk, literally.

Lightlyseared's avatar

The problem with my local convenience store is people walk in from the local hospital wearing gowns open at the back dragging their drip stand behind them (and once while holding on to what looked like a chest drain) to buy cigarettes and beer.
So fully clothed (whatever the clothes maybe) and unlikely to need (more) medical attention in the next 5 minutes would be an improvement.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m not talking about “formal” attire, @CWOTUS.

@Lightlyseared…just ew!

WestRiverrat's avatar

At least with the food stamp debit cards now, they can’t buy a quarter’s worth of candy and get the change for their $50 food stamp in cash, as some places used to do. When it rained you could see the wear in the sidewalk from the drug store to the bar next door.

Dutchess_III's avatar

People who actually wear pants or shorts and shoes to the store may or may not use food stamps for their purchases. However, people who wear pajamas always use food stamps. So what is the correlation?

@WestRiverrat…you couldn’t actually CASH the stamps, unless someone would buy them off of you. But you did get change back up to .99—to the nearest dollar. It was kind of a bummer when they moved to the EBT card. Before I would add up purchases so I came out with .99 change. I’d do that at a couple of different stores, then have a enough to buy toilet paper or shampoo or whatever. Not enough to get drunk on tho. :)~

livelaughlove21's avatar

Sounds like me…well, except for the slippers (don’t own any) and food stamps (don’t get ‘em). But wearing pajama pants to a dollar store or gas station when running in for a nighttime snack? Hell yeah. Who am I there to impress?

People with food stamps don’t particularly bother me. But seeing people in pajamas in a nice restaurant is a but too much for me.

WestRiverrat's avatar

@Dutchess_III I beg to differ, in some states it was legal for stores to pay cash as change. My mother was the county health nurse, as well as the nurse for the nearby reservation clinic. She dealt with it all the time.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I didn’t know that. That is just insane, IMO.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Yeah, if it’s nighttime, a normal time to be wearing PJ’s I could understand. But when it happens in the middle of the day it’s an indication that they’ve never even taken them off after they got out of bed. What the hell do they do all day that they don’t ever have to get out of their pajamas?

DigitalBlue's avatar

It’s 7:30pm and I’m still in my pajamas.
Today I washed all of my upstairs walls, I washed the windows on my French doors, I took down my curtains and washed and rehung them, I did 4 loads of laundry, I cooked two meals, I swept and washed my kitchen floor by hand, I wiped down my cabinets and I cleaned out my fridge, I drew up a design for a new flowerbed that I’m planning to plant, and I’m going to take my dog for her daily 6 mile walk in a few minutes.

If I had to run to the corner store right now to grab something and I didn’t have an image disorder, I wouldn’t see a damn thing wrong with going in my pajamas.

I know a woman who collects public assistance, she doesn’t work, and she sells drugs out of her home. Her house is a wreck, her lawn is unkempt, her car is full of garbage. I’ve never seen her out of her house without being fully dressed and with her hair and makeup done. She looks like a normal, young mother.

I don’t believe that you can gauge how lazy a complete stranger is based on a few seconds that you get a glimpse of them in public.

bkcunningham's avatar

@DigitalBlue, would you tell us your age? I think it is a generational thing. If I was on my deathbed I would still have a shower and get dressed to go to the doctor’s office. I cannot imagine going out in public in my pajamas.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You gonna wash those pajamas before you wear them again @DigitalBlue? ;) I wouldn’t have done all that in my PJ’s. Slicks or an old pair of shorts or something, and a sweatshirt or T-shirt, yeah. But not in my pajamas. And I wouldn’t wear slippers out in public either. How hard is it to put on a freaking pair of shoes?

bkcunningham's avatar

Back in the day, people walking around in public in their pajamas were picked up by the police and questioned to determine if they were mentally competent.

augustlan's avatar

Young people sometimes even go to school in their pajamas. I’m not a fan, but I’m not going to judge them for it. I’ve seen plenty of people in pjs pay cash, too, so I don’t think there’s a correlation between manner of dress and manner of payment, at least in my area. I also don’t care at all if someone on food stamps buys a candy bar or a lobster tail. I don’t know what’s going on in their life.

DigitalBlue's avatar

@bkcunningham I’m 30. My sister is in college (she’s studying neurobiology – I mention this to emphasize that they’re serious students, not a bunch of kids screwing off) and half of her class shows up in their pajamas. It’s just not so taboo among younger people.

That is my point, really. I feel like younger people, in general, don’t put as much emphasis on “getting up and getting dressed and combing your hair, etc” as a daily necessity as older generations. I think it’s just a sort of thing that may be going out of style, so to speak. I really don’t even bat an eye when I see someone in loungewear or pajamas out in public (unless it’s a strange location, like a nice restaurant was a good example.)

@Dutchess_III if I’m going to be home all day, I usually will take a bath and put on clean pajamas. Today, I figured I was going to be doing busy work, so tonight I will take my bath and put on clean pajamas to sleep in.

gailcalled's avatar

I must frequent the wrong convenience stores, having never seen those people dressed in that manner.

Dutchess_III's avatar

So what’s the point of even having jeans and shirts and regular clothes, @DigitalBlue?

DigitalBlue's avatar

@Dutchess_III what makes jeans and a t-shirt so dramatically different from pajama pants and a t-shirt? Really, though. We aren’t talking about nightgowns, I’m assuming?

marinelife's avatar

@Dutchess_III So you think because some of your tax money is providing assistance to someone that that person should dress and eat according to your standards? Who the hell do you think you are? Does your sh*T not stink?

You have no right to judge anyone who has different appearance standards from you. You, thank goodness, have not been made queen of the world. I, for one, would not want to live in a world controlled by your narrow-mindedness.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Dutchess_III I’ve had days like that – when I stay home on a Sunday and clean, do laundry, or just relax. No need to dirty any jeans.

I usually get in PJ pants and a t-shirt as soon as I get home from class or work. Sitting around my own house or cooking dinner in jeans doesn’t appeal to me. I prefer to be comfortable at home.

bkcunningham's avatar

It is interesting to me. I’ve seen it very often at travel plazas along the Interstate highways when traveling.

@DigitalBlue, when I have on my PJs, I don’t have on a bra. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t see anything wrong with going braless. But I am at that age that I don’t go out in public braless and a t-shirt, let alone a thin soft cotton pair of PJs that say, “Love the Ta Tas.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

Sheesh @marinelife. You’re on a roll. I don’t like the idea of handing stuff out to lazy people who aren’t even trying to get out of their rut.

Sure. Nightgowns @DigitalBlue. Why not? And boxer shorts for the guys. Why not?

marinelife's avatar

@Dutchess_III Just because someone chooses to wear attire you don’t consider appropriate, you have no way of knowing anything about their character: like they are lazy. Your judgement is flawed.

DigitalBlue's avatar

@bkcunningham haha. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t see anything wrong with being dressed to go out, either (of course.) I just think it’s an issue of preference and that being out in “comfy” clothes is less taboo than it may have been in the past.

@Dutchess_III you’re asking the wrong person, because I don’t personally care. Sincerely.
I don’t see what makes a nightgown different from a flimsy sundress. Or boxers different from shorts (assuming they don’t open in the front.) Or a bra and panties from a bikini. Would I choose to go out that way? Not necessarily, but I don’t think that its my business how people dress themselves, and I also try not to make snap judgments about their character based on how they look. Of course we all do that to some degree, but we also have to recognize that it’s not necessarily a reliable method. For one, there’s no way to be accurate, and at the same time, it seems like a silly thing to get mad or frustrated about when I don’t even know if I’m even right about what I’m getting upset about.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I was embarrassed when I used food stamps @marinelife. I went out of the way to prove that I wasn’t a lazy loser, and as part of that I brushed my hair and my teeth every day, and wore clean clothes to the store. I didn’t dress up, but I wore decent jeans and clean shirts.
People who are too freaking lazy to put on some clothes and SHOES, opting to put on slippers that they can just slide their feet in to so they don’t have to go to all the trouble of tying their shoes and then whip out their food stamp card to buy candy and pop are advertising the fact that they are lazy losers and not even trying to be anything else.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

You are complaining about two different things:

Showing while still wearing sleepwear.

Using Food Stamps to purchase items you consider inappropriate or which my be improper categories of products to purchase with Food Stamps.

Some disabled people may be legitimately entitled to use Food Stamps and these people may find getting dressed to buy a few items a real physical obstacle.

If you know the actual circumstances of the shopper and you know for certain that they merely choose not to work and rely on Food Stamps to purchase what you consider waste or improper products, then you might have a point.

If you do not know the whole story, do you really have the right to be so indignant.

It is tough to be poor, especially if you are trying to help children in your care from feeling extremely deprived relative to their peers. Maybe you don’t truly understand what everything you think you know.

It’s easy to act self-righteous and to condemn others whose circumstances you know much less than you believe.

Does it make you feel good to promote outrage against people whose circumstances you neither know nor understand?

Can you find more productive ways to make society more compassionate and fair?

bkcunningham's avatar

To me, it would be as foreign as wearing a snorkel, flippers and a swimsuit to the bank. Doesn’t make sense to me. But like I said, it is fascinating. I saw the trend starting when my oldest child was in high school. She is almost 26. I personally think it started as an adolescent sexual type thing. The trend was to roll the top of your pajama bottoms down and to wear a tight wife-beater. Before you knew what was happening, kids were wearing the flannels to school and out in public.

marinelife's avatar

@Dutchess_III You should not have been embarrassed to be on food stamps. One assumes not that you were just lazy but that you had a genuine need,

You have no way of knowing why someone does or does not dress up, It could have nothing to do with laziness.

You have no right to judge someone for buying a candy bar and a soda. Do you never have those things?

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Dr_Lawrence I have absolutely no problem helping people who find themselves in a bad way, especially older people. But using food stamps to buy crap bugs me. Yeah. I’d say they get too much in food stamps. I know I did.

If a young, 20-something person comes flopping into the store in pajamas and slippers and buys pop and candy with food stamps, yes, it bothers me. It tells me they just don’t give a shit and don’t mind being on the dole. I minded a great deal.

This morning I went out to buy a coke from the convenience store, and to go through the McD’s drive through. I took 2 minutes to put on some jeans and some shoes. How hard is it? Why would anyone CHOOSE to look like shit when they go out in public?

@marinelife Sure I do. I drink Diet Coke on a regular basis and once in a great while I buy candy. But I never bought them with food stamps. It was embarrassing enough just buying regular food.

rory's avatar

You NEVER know someone’s circumstances. It could be their one day off. They could be disabled and unable to work. I tend not to judge, because said judgement generally comes from a place of privilege and it’s the kind of argument rich politicians use so they don’t have to keep providing welfare to those who need it.

I’m not saying some people don’t abuse the system, but I think people make too many assumptions.

Dutchess_III's avatar

They can be disabled and unable to work, @rory, but none that I’ve seen were so disabled that they couldn’t put on shoes.

DigitalBlue's avatar

You really do seem to be projecting your own feeling of shame onto other people who may/may not be in a situation similar to yours in the past. You felt ashamed, so shouldn’t they also feel ashamed? It seems to me, that it would be more fulfilling to you to appreciate that maybe some people are able to go through tough times without feeling overwhelming guilt or shame or embarrassment?
Just in general, wouldn’t it be a more fulfilling way to look at the world? At other people?

Dutchess_III's avatar

It SHOULD make them uncomfortable @DigitalBlue to the point where they want to do something about it. But too many people are just fine where they are, even if it is taking handouts. And it shows in their actions and attitudes.

Dutchess_III's avatar

And I’ve seen older people who are disabled, but I’ve NEVER seen them in their pajamas out in public. Just the young, healthy, lazy people.

gailcalled's avatar

@Dutchess III:

Wearing jeans and shoes does not necessarily equate with charming, elegant or delectable.

If a young, 20-something person comes flopping into the store in pajamas and slippers and buys pop and candy with food stamps, yes, it bothers me.

Would it bother you less if it were an old, 20-something person who minced, tiptoed, or walked carefully?

I went out several days ago wearing one black slip-on shoe and one burgundy bedroom slipper because I was rushing and not paying attention.

bkcunningham's avatar

I’m 100 percent positive that medical doctors and mental health professionals “judge,” access, gauge or whatever the appropriate word would be, a person based on their appearance. If they see someone dressed in a very unkempt manner, disheveled and so forth, that will be part of the process to diagnose that person. Most people do judge others based on appearance. I lived near Fort Bragg, NC, home of Pope Air Force base and the 82nd Airborne Division. I would see young men and women dressed a certain way and thought they were in the military. I judged them by their haircut, the way they walked, their posture etc. I think most of us do that. It is human nature. It is part of how we survive. We read other people and judge whether or not we want to get to know them, trust them, make love to them, talk to them et al based on appearance.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It would bother me less, @gailcalled, if a 20 something person came in to the store dressed appropriately, and her kids were clean and dressed appropriately, and she used food stamps and bought healthy food for her kids, instead of junk. It wouldn’t bother me at all. I would assume that she had some pride and was working to find ways to get off of food stamps.

Why anyone would want to go out in public looking like shit, too lazy to put on some clothes, is beyond me. Before I went out this morning to the store, I changed my sweat shirt because the one I had thrown on when I woke up was dirty. What does that say about me?

gailcalled's avatar

^^^ It says that you seem possessed about this topic beyond what is understandable.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Just following the conversation, @gailcalled.

For those that claim not to care about the impression they make on people, or that it doesn’t matter…when you go to a nice restaurant, do you eat your spaghetti or mashed potatoes with your hands? Do you pick up your steak with your hands and eat it, or do you use a steak knife? Why not? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting food all over your clothes and face. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Are you trying to impress people you don’t even know?

gailcalled's avatar

Don’t be silly. Reductio ad absurdum is not a good debating technique.

dontmindme's avatar

@Dutchess_III Why do you want to impress people at the convenience store? Do you think the other patrons or employees really care that much about you?

bkcunningham's avatar

I think the answers to the hickey thread are interesting in light of the nonconformists answers here.

filmfann's avatar

I don’t mind it as much as I do people living in cardboard boxes or under bridges or in a tent pitched in the marshland.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m not out to impress people to a great degree @dontmindme. But I don’t want to disgust people or have them find me contemptible, either. Which is why I mind my manners, too.

@filmfann that’s a whole different subject.

dontmindme's avatar

But you are making the assumption that everyone in the convenience store is concerned with your appearance, as if they care about you. I bet most of those people you encounter didn’t even notice you. If they did notice you, I doubt they are still talking about you at this moment. (Having manners and choice of clothing have nothing to do with each other.)

cheebdragon's avatar

Have you considered that the daytime may actually be her nighttime? Perhaps she has a job at night when you are at home sleeping and being lazy.
Get the fuck over it, you’re 1 step away from sounding as crazy as the people protesting military funerals and chanting “god hates fags”.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

This thread is long, so I will go back and read it later.

I worked my way through college in a convenience store that took food stamps. I did not give a crap about what people were buying with food stamps most of the time. Most of the time they were very nice, and came from some crappy job, and would talk about their kids and how much they loved them. Never occurred to me to judge.

What did piss me off were the guys who tried to buy candy with 10 dollar food stamps. I got death threats when I had enough food stamp change to pay them. They expected me to give them change in cash because a lot of stores did not have that many stamp customers. I got death threats. These were usually guys in their early twenties with bloodshot eyes from pot.

Crumpet's avatar

You see it a lot in the UK, although they don’t buy candy and pop, they buy cigarettes and a cheap plastic bottle of cider.
You also see people queuing up at the cash machine in their PJ’s at midnight, waiting for their cash to go into the bank.

Rarebear's avatar

Are you spying on me again?

gailcalled's avatar

^^^ Please type faster. I want to go to bed.

Dutchess_III's avatar

We all make an effort to be presentable and not offend people. @DigitalBlue you said you did 4 loads of laundry today. Why? What’s wrong with wearing dirty clothes? It’s not going to hurt you! I’ll bet we all make an effort to control body odor. Why? We could learn to live with it but others might have a problem with what they perceive as a “stench”. @gailcalled—we don’t eat with our hands because most of us would consider it disgusting. I don’t care if you call it “Reductio ad absurdum.” It’s true. It’s basic manners.

gailcalled's avatar

Oy. I give up.

DigitalBlue's avatar

How is running to the store in your pajamas the same as eating spaghetti with your hands? I don’t see how a person’s clothing choices have anything to do with manners. If you’re offended because someone opted for plaid cotton pants instead of denim… well, I don’t even know what to say to that. You lost me.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I just read this entire thread, and my head is about to explode.

Society evolves. People change. Fashion changes overnight.

I believe @Dr_Lawrence gave one of the more astute posts here. I second it. There are 2 separate topics to debate: the use of food stamps for what some deem unworthy food, and then there’s the question of attire. I believe neither topic is any of my business. Not one iota.

I was on food stamps once. I was desperately poor. Frankly, I don’t remember what I bought at all. I was also extremely depressed at the time, but then I also have a mental illness, which is a disability. I may have gone to the store less than impeccably dressed, but I was never made to feel embarrassed. I have battled agoraphobia, and getting to the store was a major accomplishment for me at times.

Times have changed for me thankfully, and I am coping and recovering much better these days. Now, I live by Oscar Wilde’s words, “One should either be a work of art or wear a work of art.” I am fortunate to live in a place that allows me to express my taste in gaudy clothes easily.

Really, @Dutchess_III, it’s none of our business what people buy with food stamps as long as they are buying things within the law, and computerization has taken care of that, I’d bet. As far as attire, I lived in an inner city environment for 4 years in the early 2000s and saw examples of people wearing their pajamas out in public. Again, it’s really none of our business. Your complaint that they appear not to be attempting to get out of their rut is again none of our business, even if our taxes are paying for their food stamps. As long as they are obtaining their assistance legitimately, then we have no complaint.

Let’s be calm and sleep on it. Perhaps this question will look much different in the light of a new day.

gondwanalon's avatar

Shoot I don’t know. Perhaps he/she worked her/his butt off all night on the graveyard shift making minimum wages.

Prosb's avatar

I fully understand why you may feel this way @Dutchess_III, although I don’t agree with you. However, I won’t make the suggestion that every person who enters your store in pajamas and slippers is disabled, depressed or mentally unwell. To say that feels like pining for something to excuse the manner in which these individuals dress.

Yes, most people have minimum standards of public appearance that they maintain, but to assume that those who have low standards may have something as seriously wrong with them as a physical disability or mental ailment, seems as pointless to conclude about them as whether they are just being “lazy”.

We can each only go off of personal experience, none of which are going to be the absolute. Most people I know and have observed using food stamps are just as well dressed as anyone else. At my workplace (arcade), I see people with all manner of fancy (and expensive) phones, tablets and clothes spend tons of money on games, and call me over regularly to assist them with things that you’d think wouldn’t be hard to figure out. Such as, pressing the giant flashing START button to well, start the game. They will ask me to come help them with the same machine, the same problem, and after I show them what to do, they somehow “forget” each time.

Should I conclude that people who dress well and buy expensive things are all stupid, because that’s what I encounter at work? Should I assume they have some unknown crippling issue that makes their intelligence seem less than it is? No, of course not. To assume such things would be absurd, and basing anything much off of this limited interaction would seem equally premature.

You can assume whatever you like about whomever you choose, but know that when you make these views public you are going to be subjected to scrutiny, based off of what others have experienced in similar areas. This time the backlash seems overwhelmingly against you. Again, I can’t agree with your view, but I can understand it

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
Berserker's avatar

I’ve lived in big cities, where people dress in all sorts of ways, all the time, so I’ve never even thought of that until now. Not even when I lived in smaller places, and where one person might stand out among the rest. So I don’t think anything about it, unless they’re a Goth; then I usually get pretty horny.

Sunny2's avatar

Why have young people started the clothing fad (because that’s what it is) of wearing pajamas in public? Pajamas are much less expensive than blue jeans. Young people start dress fads because they CAN. That’s why all fads start. It’s the same reason for people following fashion trends. I find many fashions in bad taste, but that’s MY problem and it’s none of my business what other people choose to wear..
The second issue of using food stamps has no relation to what one wears. People who need help making ends meet use them. Yes, they may be financed by our tax dollars. Would you rather they die on the street (as long as it’s not YOUR street?)
I’m not religious, but I do believe in all of us helping the less able and the less fortunate among us. As human beings, we owe that to one another.

rooeytoo's avatar

I’m not sure what I think about this but I think there are some interesting things happening here. When the question about obesity comes up, everyone wants to control the way people eat. The mayor of NYC wants to make junk illegal. Those who consider the food stamp users to be victims and in need of help, rehabilitation, would, if the question were posed differently, be saying they need help and education to get on track and learn how to eat properly. Now I wager the same group is saying let them buy what they want just because they don’t have hope doesn’t mean they can’t eat junk food! I do personally think that food stamps should be used for real nutritious foods, not soda, cigs or booze.

I don’t like pajamas in public, I don’t like some current fashions. But I have this scrawny hippless body and I have trouble keeping my pants up so I am sure people look at me and wonder why I don’t pull my pants up! So better be careful about the judging, but I do it anyhow. Because I don’t care how many of you say you don’t judge, inside somewhere you do when it is something that is your pet peeve.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@Dutchess_III I see that I am hardly the only person here astounded at how self-righteous you sound on how poor people dress in convenience stores and how they fail to live up to your expectations of what they should purchase with Food Stamps.

You would not be happy to have Jellys attack you on picky details when you have a serious concern.

We should aim to treat even the poor with decency and respect.
Perhaps you feel that poor people must live up to your standards?
Please tell us why your standards apply to other people?

tom_g's avatar

Ok, so I’m late to this thread, and there isn’t much that hasn’t already been said by @Dr_Lawrence, @DigitalBlue, @Hawaii_Jake, @gailcalled, and others.

@Dutchess_III – I can’t tell whether you are enjoying being frustrated at what you see as laziness, or if it’s something you’re asking us how to overcome. If it’s the latter, you could try a technique such as imagining a story that would make you feel empathy for this person. Make up a story in your head about how this person has been caring for her dying mother, lost her job, hasn’t slept in weeks, stepped out for a minute to get a snack, and was labeled by a complete stranger to be a lazy, awful person. If this seems forced, remember that you’re already making up stories in your head about this person. Stories that encourage empathy will help you relieve your frustration. And empathy and compassion is something that we could use more of.

ucme's avatar

@Crumpet Not in my world they don’t, maybe you live in chavtown.
The only thing that frustrates me is lazy thinking, which sums up this question really.

Seek's avatar

Nope.

Frankly, if you took any random 15 seconds out of any of our lives, you could make all sorts of assumptions about a person. Last time I was in a convenience store? Let’s see… I was wearing a Pokemon t-shirt, ripped jeans, and bought a single bottle of Guinness with a handful of quarters.

Make what assumptions you want about that.

True story is: It was laundry day, I was on my way home from the laundromat with a bunch of extra change, I had a couple hours worth of folding and other cleaning to do, and thought as I was pumping gas that I’d like a beer and a movie with my housework.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

I say we have a a lounge in our pajama day. Let’s wear ‘em all damn day! :D

marinelife's avatar

@Dutchess_III I apologize for the pugnacious tone of my posts last night. Both @Dr_Lawrence and @Hawaii_Jake made similar points to what I was trying to make without the harsh language.

It just seemed that you were refusing to realize that 1. Attire says nothing about character only about attire. and 2. That those on food stamps have the right to purchase anything they want within the legal bounds of the program. So I lost my cool, I am sincerely sorry.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s all good, @marinelife. I had my own ulterior motives. That is…I needed a good fight. I almost never argue with the majority, in case you haven’t noticed. And I’m glad ya’ll still love me anyway.

cheebdragon's avatar

No one is physically forcing you to pay taxes, if you are so against contributing to unemployed, pajama & slipper wearing, convenience store shopping for candy with food stamp, hoodlum delinquent’s….just stop paying taxes.

Or better yet, next time just tell that person to their face exactly what you think of them.

bkcunningham's avatar

Next time you need a good fight, contact me. I’m up for a good fight ever once in a while too, @Dutchess_III. We can put on our pajamas, go out in the street and duke it out.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I do not object to helping people out @cheebdragon. I think I made that clear, so chill. I was helped out by taxes in the past. I just didn’t take it utterly for granted. I didn’t even feel like I was owed that. I felt lucky that it was in place. Lucky to live in America. I couldn’t have pulled myself out of that sewer without that help. And I kept my head up, and kept myself respectable. And now I’m paying it back, gladly.

Besides. I can’t exactly just quit paying taxes! That’s a scary thought…if people could just quit paying certain types of taxes, how many would opt to quit paying SS and medicare and things like that?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Dignity. I kept my dignity.

cheebdragon's avatar

What makes you so different from the person wearing pajama pants in the convenience store? I don’t understand what makes you think you are in anyway special or “above” her, you don’t know a god damn thing about that person, yet you obviously think you are better than them. Would you be cool with myself or anyone else who has never been on food stamps or collected any form of help from the government, looking down on you just because you had? Would you be cool with us making fun of what you wear in public and judging you for every purchase you make?

So your dignity kept you from buying soda? Or from wearing something comfortable?

cheebdragon's avatar

“I ate like a Queen when I had food stamps. We got so much. Crab legs, steak, whatever I wanted to buy.”

Did you need to crab legs and steak to stay alive? Did you need to purchase whatever you wanted to buy? Hate to break it to you princess but you are no better if not worse than that woman. You abused the system also, so knock it off with the self righteous shit, there is no dignity in being a hypocrite and there certainly isn’t any dignity in being an uppity bitch (not directed at anyone, just in general.)

Dutchess_III's avatar

How is buying crab legs, which are really good for you, abusing the system?

One reason I wouldn’t have gone out looking like shit is because I ran into students that I had taught (I substitute taught for 3 years, full time) all the time and I was always aware of setting an example. There was also the possibility I could run into a principal of a school who would consider hiring me.

If a person doesn’t even have the self respect to go to all the trouble of taking off their pajamas and putting on a pair of pants and a t-shirt when they go out, what does it say about the rest of their life? If they opt for slipping on a pair of slippers instead of going to “all the work” of tying their shoes,what does that mean? If I was in a position to hire someone, I certainly wouldn’t hire someone like that.

Whatever reason someone has to do that now, if they’re depressed or whatever, well 10 years ago those same reasons existed, but it didn’t stop people from putting on street clothes when they went out.

Simply put, it’s tacky, like, picking your nose in public is tacky. Like, getting into a yelling match with someone in public is tacky.

Seek's avatar

I was on food stamps for years. Actually, I just got kicked off of them. Now I have a hard time buying food for my kid.

When we did get “full” food stamps, I didn’t buy crab legs (They’re like $15 a pound, are you shitting me?). I bought what we needed and enough for some backup (that’s what we’re living off now), and then bought food for other people who needed help. Not for money, just to help them. Since I kick SERIOUS ass a coupon and sale shopping, I could make that little bit of money go really, really far.

Oh, and yes, very occasionally, if I was running errands with my son and had to stop for gas, and had failed to plan ahead by packing snacks and he was tired, cranky, and hungry, we’d run into the store for some Cheetos and chocolate milk. Fucking sue me.

I’m utterly sick of people thinking that the fact that someone is poor means they need to feel guilty about it as well. The poor have enough problems without your help.

tom_g's avatar

@Dutchess_III: “If a person doesn’t even have the self respect to go to all the trouble of taking off their pajamas and putting on a pair of pants and a t-shirt when they go out”

And while we’re way past the absurd point on this thread, I could argue that changing out of pajamas reflects a diminished self-respect.

Also, I just want to point out that you “caught” these people while you were in a convenience store. I don’t recall the last time I was in a convenience store. I have too much self-respect ~.

ucme's avatar

I have no idea what food stamps or coupon shopping constitutes, but there was this documentary a while back & these women were saving literally hundreds of $$$$‘s paying absolutely nothing for kart loads of goods…I thought it was fucking awesome!!

Seek's avatar

Extreme couponing, @ucme. While I love a good deal, I don’t play that game because it drives up the price for everyone. And now, thanks to these idiots, the fantastic Double Coupon sale days and coupon matching are becoming a thing of the past

bkcunningham's avatar

How do manufacturers’ coupons drive up prices, @Seek_Kolinahr? I’ve never heard that one before.

ucme's avatar

@Alyson, or should that be Aly…oops, not in the shins!!
Yeah, but just seeing the cash come off like that, it’s like shopping for free.

Seek's avatar

@bkcunningham We’re talking about people mixing manufacturer coupons and store sales, and getting numerous copies of the same item, without doing other shopping.

Sales are intended to bring people into the store so they buy many things. But if all they’re buying is 300 bottles of Windex because the store had a Bogo sale, and the manufacturer had a $1 off coupon, and the store itself only charges $1.09 for the item…. The store’s only getting $0.045 per bottle of Windex until the manufacturer decides to pay them back… You tell me that store isn’t going to raise the price of Windex. Or stop doing BOGO sales.

As a coupon shopper, I’ve noticed the difference since those coupon shows started. I can’t get NEARLY the deals I used to get. People take advantage of the promotions, and now the promotion no longer exists. Frakking idiots.

Seek's avatar

@ucme Oh, yeah. My local grocery store puts the “amount saved” from sale, loyalty card, and coupons on the receipt. It’s my goal every trip to make the “amount saved” equal at least 50% of the total cost.

bkcunningham's avatar

The store doesn’t pay the same price for a bottle of Windex that you are charged as a consumer. Also, the store is reimbursed for the amount on the coupon. Go extreme, @Seek_Kolinahr. The store won’t go out of business.

Berserker's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I’m utterly sick of people thinking that the fact that someone is poor means they need to feel guilty about it as well. The poor have enough problems without your help.

^
That.

Seek's avatar

I didn’t say it would go out of business. I said it would raise prices. Which it does.

And thanks, @Symbeline

bkcunningham's avatar

LOL okay. Don’t coupon and reapply for your food stamps.

Seek's avatar

No no, I have a decent-ish job now and my husband’s work is starting to pick up. I don’t qualify anymore.

The downside is they don’t take commuting expenses or car repairs into account on the application, so the fact that I have an hour commute doesn’t count into the household costs. If I were sitting at home making the money I make, I could afford rent, power, and food. But I spend a few hundred a month on petrol

Judi's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr , and pantyhose! They should take the cost of pantyhose into consideration when determining the benefits for working families! I know they are not so necessary now, but when my sister was trying to work her way off the system no one ever considered how much more your wardrobe would cost if you were trying to work.

Seek's avatar

Well, I wouldn’t go so far as pantyhose, but in a city like mine where there is no public transportation, it’s obvious that the operation of your car is a necessary expense just like a car LOAN is. See, here, the fact that my car is a paid-off 25 year old piece of crap works against me. If I had a monthly cost for a car loan? I can put that on the application. Gas guzzling and a wonky transmission? Too bad, poor person.

DigitalBlue's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr no doubt about it, it is expensive to be poor.

Dutchess_III's avatar

The system is so fubarred in so many ways. Once you’re in, you’re almost punished when you get out. If you’re on section 8 housing, unemployed, your rent is free. Then you get a minimum wage job and they start charging rent, and there is nothing left of your little paycheck after that. Plus your food stamps drop, but you don’t have the money to make up for that. And you STILL don’t have the money for toilet paper and stuff that they don’t help you with.

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! Yeah, @DigitalBlue! It really is expensive to be poor!

bkcunningham's avatar

I know this is going way off base regarding the original question, but are you saying that the application for food stamps includes and considers a car payment when determining your income eligibility, @Seek_Kolinahr?

bkcunningham's avatar

“They” do help you with those costs now, @Dutchess_III. Apparently, now you get a cash allowance just for those types of items.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think she’s saying that she would have credit for paying on a loan, and that would help her get approved.

They had cash assistance when I was on food stamps, but it was, like $500 a month! Hell, my rent alone (I wasn’t in Section 8 housing) was $450! Plus they deducted what I got in child support (all of $100 a month for 3 kids…not PER kid, total.) I only used cash assistance twice. Winter I taught, summer I ran daycare. Due to the way the school system paid, there was a month lag, in June, in getting a paycheck, and before my daycare income kicked in. And then, when I started getting a check I had to pay the assistance back.

Seek's avatar

@bkcunningham I never did get the cash assistance, because there were too damn many hoops to jump through. Every adult in the house has to go to a class on money management (Uh, if I had any to manage, I wouldn’t be in this position, folks) on the same day, at the same time. No kids allowed. Don’t worry, if you have a 3 month old infant, we’ll give you a voucher to some smelly foster kid daycare so you can leave him with complete strangers for six hours. That’s just one hoop.

And that was for, at best, $120 a month. Just enough to let you know how fucked you are. Section 8 in my area has a 3 year waiting list. Never happened.

Seek's avatar

@bkcunningham They take into account any recordable bills. Heating and cooling costs, phone bills (another good thing I do that works against me – cheap prepaid phones. If my phone bill were $150 like the average family, it’d work in my favor. I pay $35 for a phone with 300 minutes a month)

Bear in mind it might be different in other states. I’m in Florida.

Dutchess_III's avatar

(Oh, BTW…I was contracted with the SRS to provide daycare, @Seek_Kolinahr! We took a field trip once a week. I had a lot of learning based activities. They were like my own kids in many ways, and my house wasn’t smelly!)

bkcunningham's avatar

Do you remember back when “they,” lol, gave out cheese? My then-mother-in-law would buy the cheese from some people she knew who received the handout. They would buy cigarettes or beer with the cheese money. But, honestly, she could make the best pimento cheese I’ve ever eaten from that cheese.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s hard to say “she” when I’m looking at Spock. Just sayin! :)

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t remember that.
I had never even heard of food stamps until I was 31 and found myself in dire straits.

bkcunningham's avatar

Oh, and butter. The government gave out butter. It was in the 1960s and in my lifetime during the early 1980s. The dairy came from food surpluses from price supports. Ahh, when the government gets involved, isn’t it lovely?

Seek's avatar

((anyone else dying to know what @cheebdragon is going to say?))

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think one of the things “they” should provide are attorneys for the single mothers to go after the deadbeat dads for child support. My daughter received cash assistance for a couple of months after her son was born. A year later they went after the father for it, about $600 total, I think. The father, who had a really good paying job, promptly turned around and hired an attorney to have 51% custody awarded to him, and, at the same time, sued my daughter for child support. And he won. She pretty much had to give her entire paycheck to him. She never even received notice of the hearing.

In my case, the kid’s dad was in another state, 2000 miles away. Not a damn thing I could do to sue for child support when he quit paying it. I couldn’t afford it.

If the fathers paid their fair share there would be fewer single mother families seeking assistance from the government, or at least not so MUCH assistance.

bkcunningham's avatar

Everywhere in the US, @Dutchess_III, deadbeat dads/moms are prosecuted by the state. The parent seeking the money that is in arrearages doesn’t have their own attorney. The county where you lives takes care of that.

Oh, I just reread your post. Yeah, “they” aren’t going to pay for private attorneys in custody cases.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But if the parent who isn’t receiving support doesn’t sqwack (aka hires an attorney they can’t afford) the deadbeat parent gets off Scott free.

Too often, if the mother DOES put pressure on the dead beat dad, the father retaliates in some way, via the children.

bkcunningham's avatar

If someone isn’t paying their court ordered child support payments, they will be prosecuted and the parent seeking the payments doesn’t have to hire an attorney of their own. They are represented by the state. It is like if someone steals your car. You don’t hire an attorney to prosecute the person. They state takes care of that because the person is breaking a law.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s not happening, though. In my case, because my husband left the state. In my daughter’s case, the father took revenge on her and won, because he had the money. She has another child, who is 10. The father has never paid a dime in support.
They both married other women. However, my daughter has made sure everyone stayed on good terms. It’s like a big extended family out there!

I know what is supposed to be, but that doesn’t mean it happens.

WHAT is @cheebdragon doing???

Seek's avatar

OK, this is getting out of hand. Are we talking about those lowlife food stamp recipients daring to buy Cheetos when they should be buying overpriced organic alfalfa sprouts with the money they don’t deserve, or are we spending more taxpayer money in order to support private attorneys? I’m confused.

bkcunningham's avatar

What? Private attorneys?

DigitalBlue's avatar

I mean, to play the other side of that argument, if they consider child support as income for obligees that are applying for assistance, they ought to consider it for obligors who are applying as well.
My husband pays $1600 a month in child support, which (when deducted from our finances) drops us well below the poverty line. However, we do not and have never qualified for assistance because what he pays in c/s isn’t part of the equation.

The government includes child support payments in an attempt to keep mothers (in most instances the primary custodian is the mother, being the one receiving CS), OFF of public assistance. It is an attempt to have the biological father make up for the difference in the financial gap to keep these parents afloat. All of the private attorneys in the world aren’t going to change a thing about it, because the state is only interested in saving and making money. Period.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It just went off in a different direction. That’s all, @Seek_Kolinahr. There wasn’t much more to say about the other, anyway.

She was referring to my thoughts that if the state paid, or helped pay for private attorneys to sue deadbeat parents, they wouldn’t be having to put out so much in other aid.

Seek's avatar

Again, Florida:

If a person does not pay child support they are not allowed to have a passport. If they are very delinquent, their drivers’ license will be cancelled. How taking away their mode of transport helps the bills get paid is beyond me, but that’s what they do. In very extreme cases, I’ve heard of people being put into a work-release incarceration program. The go to jail at night, released to work during the day, and their wages are immediately garnished to go to the custodial parent.

What more can you do to a divorced parent?

Bear in mind all of this can happen to a person who is unemployed, as well. The state assumes you make at least minimum wage. So if you have no job, you still owe child support on a minimum wage income. And those costs rack up.

Methinks child support is more than sufficient in penalizing those who cannot pay.

gailcalled's avatar

If you want to talk about child support and dead-beat dads, please ask another question.

gailcalled's avatar

To prevent the free-for-all of “anything goes?” To keep order rather than generate chaos? To adhere to the spirit of the law?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t mind it at all!

bkcunningham's avatar

I was just thinking that is probably at the heart of why it bothered @Dutchess_III to see someone wearing their pajamas, their “night clothes,” out in public.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What was at the heart of it, @bkcunningham?

cheebdragon's avatar

Currently my hair is Hot pink, purple and blue. I could really care less about people wearing pajamas. I don’t give a fuck about what people think of my hair because I know it’s pretty fucking awesome, and I hear about it all the time from strangers.

I’d rather see guys wearing Pajamas than seeing them wearing those super right strangler pants….those are tacky in my opinion.

I set my phone down half way through writing and forgot about it until just now. Haha, sorry.

gailcalled's avatar

At an upscale local organic deli this morning, I had to wait for a take-out order and did a little informal survey.

Everyone (no exception) was in old jeans, and most were covered in mud due to warm weather suddenly propelling us into the garden or attached to the rakes and shovels.

Four people were wearing very muddy Wellingtons. I was shocked, shocked. Several were ordering very expensive home-made cannoli and flour-free chocolate cake.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My daughter put pink streaks in her hair as a teen. She was trying to provoke a reaction from me. She did. I LOVED it! Told her at Christmas it would be cool if she put green and red streaks in her hair, and I meant it. I think she was disappointed in my reaction. :)

@gailcalled What? So they had obviously been working hard. What’s wrong with that? (Although, Wellingtons are designed to go over shoes, and I, personally, would have removed the the boots before going in.) I don’t have a problem with a person, who is obviously a physical laborer, coming in someplace at his lunch, wearing dirty coveralls and buying food. I respect the fact that they are working hard. At least, they appear to be. My assumption could be wrong. I mean, even if they get in a construction truck and drive away…could be they stole the truck.

bkcunningham's avatar

To prevent the free-for-all of “anything goes?” To keep order rather than generate chaos? To adhere to the spirit of the law?

gailcalled's avatar

Around here Wellingtons do not go over shoes; they replace them. These were not physical laborers but people like me, who enjoy getting dirty.

CWOTUS's avatar

I’ve never heard of Wellingtons to cover shoes. Aren’t those galoshes? Oh, how I hated to wear those things to school as a boy. I mean, since anything goes and all.

Dutchess_III's avatar

So. You were working. If I’m working in the yard, and need more trash bags, I’ll run to the dollar general without changing. Of course, I’m not wearing slippers and pajamas when I’m working in the yard, either.

Seek's avatar

I wear pajamas in my garden. They’re comfortable to crawl around in.

Berserker's avatar

You guys have gardens?? Damn man, I just got a parking lot.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Gardens and a big corner lot in town AND 5 acres in the country we go work on the weekend. I noticed that they’re finally start to sell work gloves in smaller, women’s sizes. Yay.

Seek's avatar

Well, I have a backyard that I pull weeds out of sometimes. Mostly I just avoid getting dressed unless I have to.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I do too! But if I go out, I feel that I have to change out of my pjs into some jeans, and even take my robe off and wear a coat instead.

bkcunningham's avatar

Do you know that when “they” first started signing people up on welfare programs, “they” didn’t allow you to grow your own foods or can? You couldn’t have a garden or raise animals.

Dutchess_III's avatar

“They” were stupid. Sometimes still are. But…“they” got me through.

Now you CAN buy vegetable seeds and plants, like tomato plants, with food stamps, which is pretty smart, IMO. But they wouldn’t let me get a pig or a cow with them. ;)

Did you know that at, like Christmas or Easter, if you buy a basket that has toys in it, as long as it even has one piece of candy in it, food stamps will pay for the whole thing.
o _ 0. Which was nice for the kids cuz they didn’t get much else.

jordym84's avatar

Oh my gosh, @Dutchess_III, will you please just get over your hatred of people who choose to wear pajamas and slippers (and now, Wellingtons, too) out of the house? We get it, it’s beneath you, but it’s their lives, let them live it as they please, so long as they are not harming anyone!! Sheesh!!! I personally don’t like to wear them outside of the house just because, but if I see someone wearing pajamas and slippers, I won’t even bat an eyelash, it doesn’t bother me in the least. It is absolutely none of my (or your) business what someone chooses to wear whether they’re rich, poor, lazy, hardworking, on welfare, etc. Just give it a rest already.

bkcunningham's avatar

Nope. I didn’t know that.

Did you know that if you go into a convenience store near me here in this part of Florida, and you have on your pajamas, someone will most likely try to assist you to see if you are lost from an assisted living facility, hospital or a nursing home?

Seek's avatar

<—Has never bought a toy basket with food stamps. A birthday cake, yes. Not toys.

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! I don’t hate people who wear Wellingtons, silly. Some do slip over shoes, and if they were all muddy and covered with cow crap, I’d hope they’d remove them before going into a cafe.

Berserker's avatar

Food stamps, I never even got those. Maybe it’s a Canadian thing, but say you’re on welfare over here, you can get ’‘vouchers’’ from them. A voucher may be worth 70 dollars or so, and is exchanged at the grocery place for items, as long as the price of what you grab doesn’t exceed seventy dollars.

But there are specification on it; cannot be exchanged for tobacco or alcohol products, or, basically, anything that isn’t food. I’m assuming you can buy cake and candy with it though. And if you don’t get to seventy dollars, they don’t give you the change back. I’m unsure if you can go back with the voucher later and spend the rest of it…I always used them to get as much chow as possible. and they don’t allow coffee, bastards

Dutchess_III's avatar

What happened to your other question, @Seek_Kolinahr?

cheebdragon's avatar

How do you know that you can buy Easter baskets with food stamps?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Because I did it. Haven’t you been reading the comments?

jordym84's avatar

@cheebdragon My thoughts exactly… Kind of ironic and very hypocritical that she’s against others purchasing frivolities with their food stamps and yet it’s acceptable for her to do so (or maybe it’s because she wears jeans and they don’t? I think we may be on to something here…hmmm).

jordym84's avatar

P.s. I can’t believe this thread is still going…

Dutchess_III's avatar

My POINT is, when a person goes into a store dressed in their pajamas and slippers, it appears that they are too damn lazy to put on some clothes and shoes. Then, when they used food stamps and buy crap, it appears that they don’t have a job. And their appearance suggests that they don’t give a shit and aren’t bothering to even look for one. Or if they get one, they don’t keep it very long because they don’t give a shit.

Well, I gave a shit. I had some pride, and as part of it, it showed in the fact that I dressed appropriately for wherever I was going. I didn’t dress to the nines to go the the convenience store, but I put on some clothes and shoes and brushed my hair.

I was also very aware of where those “benefits” came from. I didn’t feel like I was owed them, I felt lucky that I received them. And I was embarrassed when I used them. And I wanted to give back, so I got out as soon as I possibly could.

OK, so a person doesn’t feel embarrassed to go to the store in pajamas and slippers, and isn’t the least bit self conscious about using food stamps, which are paid for by other people. I guess that’s their business.

Response moderated (Flame-Bait)
jordym84's avatar

@Dutchess_III “OK, so a person doesn’t feel embarrassed to go to the store in pajamas and slippers, and isn’t the least bit self conscious about using food stamps, which are paid for by other people. I guess that’s their business.” – Ding, ding, ding!!! You finally got it (after hundreds of comments telling you just that, but hey, better late than never), it is their business.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You already said that @cheebdragon, like, 3 times.

I think there is a difference between people who receive temporary assistance and are distressed by having to take advantage of that, and those who expect to make a living off of welfare. Some people seem to think that they “deserve” the handouts.

You just won’t see a doctor or a lawyer or some other professional going out and about in their pajamas.

@jordym84 Yeah. It’s their business, but my taxes that are paying for the stamps and the section 8 housing and all of that. So that kind of makes it my business too.

I have NO problem helping people out, but I don’t think any of us would want to keep helping a person out, over and over and over, when that person doesn’t make an attempt to do anything for themselves.

jordym84's avatar

But how in the world can you make such an assumption about someone in the 5–10 seconds that you saw them? Unless you know specific details about their lives (which I doubt you do) that could back up your claim that they are just simply lazy and, therefore, unworthy of “your” help, then your argument is baseless.

“You just won’t see a doctor or a lawyer or some other professional going out and about in their pajamas.” – Have you ever watched TLC’s What Not to Wear? I used to watch it religiously when I was in high school and sometimes in college and I saw all sorts of people from different professions and walks of life (including respectable teachers, nurses, lawyers, etc.) wearing clothes that you would certainly deem as being beneath you (and beneath the society you live in), including (quick, cover your eyes) pajamas and slippers!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, wearing pajamas in public is tacky and it advertises that you don’t give a shit, which, by itself is your own business. But then, when you pay for your purchases with the EBT card, that all the people around you have paid for, why would anyone have any reason to think that you would give a shit about that?

I always dressed to show people that I I wasn’t a tacky, slovenly, lazy slob even though I was using food stamps. I dressed appropriately for where ever I was going. I was always really conscious of that.

augustlan's avatar

Not in mod mode, but can we please all tone it down a bit? Take a deep breath, everyone!

@Dutchess_III It would be just as easy to judge people going out in public in mud covered clothes (or even just plain ugly clothes) as it is to judge someone wearing pajamas in public. “Don’t they have enough self respect to change clothes before they go out in public?” It would be wrong to do it, but very easy.

Now, you don’t make any negative judgements about people wearing messy clothes in public. Lots of other people don’t make any negative judgements based on public pajama wearing. Regardless of what someone is wearing (or what they are buying), it is impossible to accurately judge anything about them.

It’s absolutely fine for you to think that public pajama wearing is tacky. What is not fine is that you make character judgements about the people who do it. For what it’s worth, all three of my teenagers have been seen in public in pajamas at one time or another. All three of them are excellent people. It is not correlated. It is generational, at best. I bet our mothers or grandmothers made negative assumptions about people wearing white after Labor Day. Were they right? No.

dontmindme's avatar

You are talking about a convenience store for Christ’s sake, not the Louvre.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah, it is a fad, to a certain extent. I know that @augustlan.

Are you saying it would not be OK to wear Jammy’s to the Louvre @dontmindme?

Dutchess_III's avatar

And yeah. My mom was a very beautiful woman who wouldn’t even go out for a moment without her make up on. She said, “You never know who you might meet.”

augustlan's avatar

Also, I don’t want to sound like I’m on some high horse…it’s not like I’ve never made snap judgements based on pretty much nothing. But, it’s important for us to realize when we’re doing that, and to try better in the future.

jordym84's avatar

@Dutchess_III I’m sorry to say but, in my humble opinion, you have no argument here. I give up trying to make you understand that, regardless of how you dress to go to the store, you are not any better than anyone else, whether they’re on welfare or not and whether they wear pajamas and slippers out or not. You’re just beyond reasoning, so I give up. I honestly do hope, however, that you’re not as judgmental and uppity in real life as you have come off in this thread. Otherwise, the least I can hope for is that those around you don’t listen to your judgmental ramblings. I’m out!

gailcalled's avatar

^^^. Wellingtons do not go over shoes, unless you personally have redesigned them.

Our lovely little high-end deli has Mexican tile floors, easily mopped.

dontmindme's avatar

I have never been to the Louvre @Dutchess_III, but I assume there is an expected dress code there. I’m probably wrong. Maybe you can come up with a better location where there is an expected dress code. You are complaining about people in a convenience store. As long as a person is wearing shoes and a shirt (what is expected of them), who cares what they look like.

Your own words @Dutchess_III: “It’s all good, @marinelife. I had my own ulterior motives. That is…I needed a good fight. I almost never argue with the majority, in case you haven’t noticed.” You had your own ulterior motives? You needed a good fight? That sounds like internet trolling to me.

Fly's avatar

I’ve tried to hold off on answering this question, but I can’t believe this conversation is even still going on, and I just can’t hold off any longer. I will not attack you, @Dutchess_III, as some others have chosen to do because I feel that it muddles a strong argument and I do not wish to stoop to that level. I’m sure that this answer will be unread by many of you because it is so long, but please bear with me.

Let me begin by reiterating what others have said- the clothes a person chooses to wear, especially to some place so completely unremarkable and insignificant, has no reflection on their character. As others have pointed out, pajamas have become totally acceptable to wear outside (in appropriate settings); just because you don’t personally find it acceptable does not give you the right to dictate what is acceptable for other people. I find most gold jewelry tacky; I think leggings worn as pants are tacky; I think mismatched socks are tacky; I think lip and eyebrow piercings are tacky; I think ripped jeans and cutoffs are tacky; I think crosses and patriotic images on clothing are tacky; I think camo is tacky; the list goes on and on. My point? The only conclusions that I draw from people who wear these things are that they have poor taste in fashion. That’s it. And I think you would agree that most of the things on this list say nothing about the people wearing them. So why, then, are pajamas, however tacky they may be, any different?

I find it very interesting that you seem to condemn anyone who dares to buy a bottle of soda or a candy bar at the convenience store and you hate that “your taxes pay for it,” yet you see no problem with “eating like a queen” and buying things like crab legs and Easter baskets with food stamps. Do you not see the hypocrisy in this at all? You want to control nutritional value of the food that people buy, yet you think it is perfectly okay to buy items that one shouldn’t even be able to afford on food stamps, in theory, and things that aren’t even food to begin with; you looked for and took advantage of loopholes in the law, yet you bash others who made purchases completely within the rules of what qualifies for food stamps, just because you think the rules on nutritional value should be more strict. I have news for you, they aren’t, and you are not in any way in a position to criticize others when your food stamps purchases were more questionable than theirs. Frankly, I take much greater issue with the fact that my taxes pay for non-food items and expensive luxuries that hardly have any edible material in them for the price you pay than for the occasional Coke and Snickers. So a person likes to kick back with a soda and sweets every now and again? Who am I to knock them, I certainly enjoy these things, too. And while that purchase may cost a total of, say, $3 or so, the frivolous purchases you describe would likely cost well over $30. If you had so much wiggle room in your food stamps that you could afford that, perhaps you didn’t need food stamps as much as you think you did; or, perhaps you were overcompensating for your shame. Of course, these are just possibilities, I can’t really comment with any certainty because I don’t know enough about your situation. (<—What a person should recognize when they begin to make judgements about people they don’t know). Regardless, projecting your experiences onto others and expecting others, who just scrape by on food stamps, to live the high life on them like you did is pretentious and just plain ridiculous.

And for the record, the only times I have donned pajamas outside of the house are when I was sick, and I don’t like to do it even then- I find it just as tacky as you do. But that doesn’t mean that I make judgements on other peoples’ choice to do so.

And really, how do you know that those people aren’t also sick, or that there is some other reason for their wardrobe choices? You probably wouldn’t have known it just by looking at me, yet you are so certain that there is no reason other than laziness that these people could possibly be wearing pajamas. How can you claim to know anything about them?

I will humor you for a moment- suppose they are being lazy. What, pray tell, is so horrendous about being lazy at the convenience store? If a person doesn’t have a right to be lazy at a convenience store, then I don’t know where they do. Chances are, these people are not looking for a job at the convenience store at that very moment, so what does wearing their pajamas have to do with “wanting to get out of their situation” anyway? Do you think future potential employers will just know these people are pajama-wearers gasp- the horror and refuse to hire them? How can you possibly think their wardrobe choices on their down time at a quick stop at the convenience store is in any way related to whether or not they “care” or are “attempting to improve their situation?” For all you know, they just came from a long day of work or stressful job interviews and are just looking for a way to wind down.

In conclusion: You are just plain wrong here, there’s really no other way I can put it. If you can’t see this after 188 responses telling you so, then my words have probably been wasted, but I couldn’t just let it go without saying a word.

rooeytoo's avatar

I don’t really give a damn one way or the other, but I can’t help but think that all the holier than thou who are giving the dutchess hell for judging, you are doing precisely the same thing, JUDGING her. Now I think everyone judges, I can’t for a moment believe that you all don’t have your pet peeves about something that the rest of humanity does and that you judge people according to those feelings. I think the crime is if you are outwardly rude or abusive to the person in pyjamas, that would be a different situation. But if she wants to think to herself, what a slob and on welfare to boot, who are you to tell her or anyone they are wrong??? You can think she is wrong, same as she can think a person is lazy for not dressing, but when you start the verbal abuse, you are judging and punishing.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

You raised a smart girl, Auggie.

gailcalled's avatar

I would respond but I am late for an appointment and it is raining out. Do I have time to force pull my Wellington’s over my size 10 clogs? Should I change from my torn and muddy jeans into my elegant and sheep pajamas? Probably not.

Seek's avatar

I wore pajama pants to work today. Just in honour of this question.

Yep, blue jersey tunic, black microfiber pajama trousers instead of the usual leggings. Ahh, comfort.

bkcunningham's avatar

What do you do, @Seek_Kolinahr? I’m not prying, just curious what setting.

Seek's avatar

I work for a marketing company. It’s a small business, so I do a lot of errand-running, some event planning, mostly admin stuff and call center support.

Brian1946's avatar

Hmmm, I would have guessed that you were a model for Victorian Secret sleepwear. ;-o

bkcunningham's avatar

When you deal with a client, in a one-on-one situation, in the event planning portion of your job, I would guess you would be more presentable and dressed in something other than pajamas. Would I be guessing wrong?

bkcunningham's avatar

Perhaps in the Victorian [sic] Secret sleepwear?

Mama_Cakes's avatar

@bkcunningham now come on. I’m sure that was a typo. Why make fun?

Dutchess_III's avatar

@dontmindme Auggie would have whipped me right on outta here a LONG time ago if I was a troll.

Brian1946's avatar

It was just a sartorially based, oblique play on the name Victoria’s Secret.

bkcunningham's avatar

I’m not making fun. I think it was on purpose. She does the Renaissance fair scene.

Seek's avatar

Actually, this is an outfit that I wear to work fairly often. The jim-jams are undercover. No drawstrings or silk-screened sheep, just plain black microfiber pants. Comfy and neat. They even have Spanx built-in.

bkcunningham's avatar

What? No flannels and tank top? ~

There was a fad where people-who were not associated with the medical profession-wore scrubs in public. I liken this fad to that. This too shall pass…and you’ll look back at photos and say, “What the hell was I thinking

Dutchess_III's avatar

The guys used to to do that. It was a sign that they’d had a baby, and that they were present when the baby was born. The hospital would just let them keep the scrubs they wore at the time.

bkcunningham's avatar

I remember when nurses still wore all white. White dress, pants suit, tights and those starched, crisp white hats. My elders talked about what a disgrace that they were slacking on the dress codes and allowing the slouchiness to come into their uniforms. They said it would be a snowball rolling downhill and things would get worse and people would have no pride in their appearances. Silly old-timers.

Seek's avatar

I kinda want to bring big hair back.

Dutchess_III's avatar

We have definitely become more relaxed. On fb somebody (a ‘Bama hater) slammed Michelle for wearing this in public. Compared her to Jackie Kennedy who, the person said, “Had class” and would NEVER wear something so casual.

Well, things being what they were in the early 60’s I’m sure that any “casual” picture of Jackie was not allowed into the mainstream.

bkcunningham's avatar

What was the issue, @Dutchess_III? Here painted on jeans? That is a little dressed down for the FLOTUS, in my opinion. I’m sure it is completely appropriate in others’ eyes. The times, they are a changin’.

cheebdragon's avatar

Personally, I feel like its tacky to be so concerned about what everyone thinks of you. It’s just like living your entire life stuck in a high school popularity contest, ugh….
“like did you totally, like see what that girl was wearing…like omg, so lame, right?...she must be like so totally poor, and like, how lazy is that anyway? Like get off your ass and learn how to dress yourself, duhh. I can’t believe she even had the nerve to wear slippers, OMG, how pathetic, I mean hello? Have some self respect, like gawd, she’s just soo gross.”

“Like gag me with a spoon….”

I can’t even imagine how much you have missed out on in life just because you were more concerned about what someone might think of you.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think it was appropriate for what she was doing—The Mommy Dance. She was dressed like a regular mom.

No, the person making the comment compared that pic to one like this

Dutchess_III's avatar

You can stop now @cheebdragon. The discussion is over. However, if it makes you feel better to keep on ranting, go ahead.

cheebdragon's avatar

I couldn’t resist, Valley Girls was on this morning and it reminded me of you.

Dutchess_III's avatar

:) Ew mah gawd!

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! I started to go get my Bible, then realized I could just google it! BRB

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yep. That’s what he said, alright.

DigitalBlue's avatar

@rooeytoo all people judge. It’s unrealistic to suggest that people won’t judge. The difference between the two is that the judgment made on someone’s character based on a brief and superficial encounter that would cause you to feel negatively toward someone that you don’t know and inspire frustration – vs a (very long) discussion in which we get @Dutchess_III‘s whole side of the story, it’s like comparing apples to oranges. I, for one, am not judging @Dutchess_III as a person. I haven’t concluded based on this one conversation that she is a snob or an elitist or any number of awful things. I disagree with her viewpoint, strongly, and I’ve explained why. But, that’s not the same as making a decision about someone’s character based on extremely limited information.

cheebdragon's avatar

Out of curiosity what was the ethnicity of the pajama wearer?

Seek's avatar

Please don’t answer that. I can’t do two more days of this.0.o

Dutchess_III's avatar

White. Why? They’re all female, too. I’ve never seen a guy running around town in his slippers.

Seek's avatar

Dude, there was one guy running to the bus stop in – no lie – bunny slippers. I was insanely jealous. I don’t even know where to BUY bunny slippers.

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! ^^^^

When we owned the shop, the girlfriend of our mechanic just showed up one day. She was just hanging around. She asked if there was any work she could do to pick some extra money. I said sure. She was a pretty hard worker. BUT she wore her bedroom slippers every day and she wouldn’t pick her feet up when she walked. She just, like, slid her feet everywhere she went, slish, slish, over the hard wood floors. I never said anything, but after a while it was like a Chinese water torture to my ears. PICK UP YOUR FEET AND WALK, GIRL!!!

Seek's avatar

That’s the BEST PART about hardwood floors. Sock dancing!

rooeytoo's avatar

@DigitalBlue – I find your answer amusing, so it is okay for you to judge when it is acceptable and for what reasons you judge. So anytime I want to judge someone, I should check with you to see if the reason is meaningful enough or not. What a wank. YOu are right about one thing though, everyone judges and I don’t think (unless the thought police have arrived) that it matters what you think or why you think it. The bottom line is what you do about it. I think the kids with pink hair or people with fat asses hanging out of skin tight jeans, etc. look hideous and that is my privilege. And it makes me wonder if they have a mirror. I also wonder why many of same are hanging in the middle of the mall in the middle of the day and why they are not in school or working? But as long as they don’t run me off the footpath I will ignore them and get on with my day.

But now I realize the error of my ways, next time, I will pm you to see if it is okay for me to think that.

DigitalBlue's avatar

???
Nowhere did I imply that @Dutchess_III or you can’t think whatever you want to think. I simply explained why I disagree, and why I don’t think it’s comparable to make a judgment with little or no info vs a judgment with all of the information you can get. You can think it all you want, that doesn’t make it right. And @Dutchess_III asked for opinions on her judgment in this case. And she got them. No one hunted her down for thinking it and forced the information out of her brain and insisted that she get permission before thinking.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Boy did I get them! Ouch!

rooeytoo's avatar

@DigitalBlue – you very plainly told me when I am allowed to make a judgement and what information it should be based upon. And I disagree. I can make any judgements I want to based on any criteria I choose. So can anyone regardless of whether you think we have satisfactory information to make said judgement. To be criticized for making a judgement by someone else (who by the way is making the judgement that allows them to be critical) is ridiculous. End of story.

DigitalBlue's avatar

No, I didn’t. I didn’t say anything like that, and I don’t even know where you got that idea.

What I said is that snap judgments based on a few seconds encounter with a stranger are not the equivalent of judgments we make based on a full side of the story, particularly when accompanied with a request for opinions about that particular judgment.

cheebdragon's avatar

She didn’t tell you when you are allowed to make a judgment, she told you that judging a stranger based on clothing alone is wrong. You’re free to be as wrong as you want to be, no one is telling you how to think. No one is claiming that they do not judge others, I’m all for passing judgment, but My judgments are based on how someone behaves, the things they say or how they say them, body language is a good way to judge someone also.
Using judgment can keep you alive and it’s one of our oldest natural instincts, but judgment based on appearance alone is superficial and vain.
There is absolutely no way that she would know what kind of person that lady was. I have a neighbor who looks like a gangmember, he’s been shot a few times so i wouldn’t rule it out as a possibility but he’s one of the nicest neighbors I’ve ever had in my entire life, if he sees someone working on their car, he will offer to help, he helped an old lady who’s wheel chair was stuck in the gutter while it was pouring down rain, no one else tried to help her, and if someone is acting skeetchy around my house he will call to give me a heads up.

gailcalled's avatar

I wore my $2.00 thrift shop Hawaiian shirt to my mammogram this morning because it buttoned down the front and allowed me not to have to bother with a hospital gown.

I looked stunning. The technician agreed.

cheebdragon's avatar

Thrift store clothes are always awesome! I can’t remember the last time I bought clothing from a department store.

bkcunningham's avatar

Did you wear a bra, @gailcalled?

gailcalled's avatar

Conversely (or perversely) I don’t own any pj’s. I sleep in T-shirts and panties.

bkcunningham's avatar

You should have just trotted out in the comfort of your t-shirt and panties and saved yourself some trouble and time. ~

gailcalled's avatar

No bra today. The Wellingtons added an insouciant touch however.

bkcunningham's avatar

I’d think the bright, colorful shirt would be sufficient for that touch, @gailcalled. I hope your ta-tas were given a good squeeze and an even better report.

DigitalBlue's avatar

Just to be clear, I don’t think that it’s “wrong.” I think that we all do it. I just don’t think first impression judgments made on superficial and brief information carry as much weight as educated judgments, or that the two are really comparable.

rooeytoo's avatar

I see, the fine line again, or perhaps semantics. Now you are saying “She didn’t tell you when you are allowed to make a judgment, she told you that judging a stranger based on clothing alone is wrong.” So I can do it, but I am wrong if I do. Big difference???

Now once again, you are saying it is okay to judge but only based on criteria you find satisfactory.

YOu are beating a dead horse. Judging is judging, your criteria is not mine. Yours is not necessarily right and mine wrong.

You go ahead and judge based on whatever you want and I’ll do the same. Just do not become righteously indignant and superior because you perceive your criteria to be loftier than mine

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s Aliiiiive!

Dutchess_III's avatar

@cheebdragon Yeah…finding cool clothes at a thrift store is like finding buried treasure! Always cool.

Bellatrix's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr your jim jams have Spanx in them! Amazing. I know you wear them as outerwear, but I just can’t imagine sleeping in Spanx. How can that be comfy in bed? My sister had a nightdress she used to wear to go out at night in. It was beautiful and it didn’t look like a nighty.

Seriously though, there are so many more important things to worry about than whether someone wears their jammies outdoors. I really couldn’t give a rats.

bkcunningham's avatar

I feel you, @Bellatrix. But honestly, if we all felt like that about questions raised on Fluther that justify that sentiment; there would be very, very little discussion here.

cheebdragon's avatar

How is it right to assume someone is lazy and milking the system because they have on pajamas?

“I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just saying that you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.”

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

OMG I am going to have to get around to actually reading this thread some day. It keeps going…

Dutchess_III's avatar

This is very interesting. I think the point some were trying to make was that I was “judged” because I made “judgements.” The term “sanctimonious bitch” comes to mind. But the person who made that judgement felt that she was just making an….observation? Not a judgement.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought No. Don’t read it!

CWOTUS's avatar

I think the “judgment” thing has been nearly beat to death, but…

No, you weren’t being judged to be a sanctimonious bitch, @Dutchess_III… the evidence was right in front of us, because you kept putting it there, so most of us just read what you said and pretty much concurred… “that’s what a sanctimonious bitch sounds like, all right”. Not that you are one, of course, but you kept trying to make us believe it. Maybe others made that judgment, but I didn’t. The words that occurred to me were “unimaginative”, “self-righteous”, “hypocritical” (when we got to the crab legs thing) and “prig”. But if you want to keep presenting evidence, then feel free.

As for someone in pajamas and slippers buying junk food in a convenience store, a sanctimonious bitch would make assumptions about the person’s entire life and value as a human being because of sartorial choices (or maybe it was laundry day, who knows?) and the snack foods that they bought (and neglected to tell you who they were for). On the other hand, what does the Produce Department look like at the convenience store, anyway? So, really, you should have asked that person to defend her life, and then your judgment could have been based on some real evidence, instead of that eyewitness stuff, which is so totally unreliable. Especially as one ages.

Seek's avatar

@Bellatrix They’re not like, Spanx™ spanx, but they do have a boyshort-type thing built in that kind of holds everything together, like a firm hug. I find it very comfortable.

I also enjoy wearing control top pantyhose under my trousers, so there you go. Maybe I’m just a freak. ^_^

bkcunningham's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr, how cool is it that you can wear your spanx-jammies to work, chat in a online forum all day and get paid?

Seek's avatar

It’s pretty damn cool. I’m an incredible multitasker.

cheebdragon's avatar

@CWOTUS makes a very good point, wtf else is there to buy at a conveinience store other than junk food?
Do you consider calling immigration everytime you see Hispanic people? They could be here illegally using your hard earned tax $. Right? It’s just as logical.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Sigh Can’t you just let it go and move on @cheebdragon?

cheebdragon's avatar

It was never my issue.

ucme's avatar

An issue, an issue, we all fall down
Down at the bottom of the deep blue sea
Catching fishes for my tea
A one, a two, a threeeeeeeeeee!!

ucme's avatar

Hey, Gisele, I thought it was time this endless thread went to sleep & thought a nighty-night song would maybe help out…okay, freakoid :p

Dutchess_III's avatar

OK. Go to sleepy little threeead. Go to sleepy little threeeead. When you wake, we’ll pat a patty cake, and ride a shiny little pooony. :)

DigitalBlue's avatar

If we could manage these long discussions without slamming each other, it would be exactly the kind of intense discussion that makes Fluther so great. It sucks that @Dutchess_III got the pointy end of the stick, but it was a good discussion, so, thanks for asking the question.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, I knew I was in trouble when I asked it! I’ve been around here a few years. I try to be so careful all the time. I finally said, “To hell with it.” Thanks @DigitalBlue

Bellatrix's avatar

^^ And that’s a lovely and mature way to view this thread. A big learning experience.

Paradox25's avatar

It gets on my nerves when people wear pajamas to a public place as well, foodstamps or not. Can I go to the grocery store in my underwear, my boxers, my socks (without shoes), etc? Actually I personally know quite a few people who wear pajamas in public, and these were the same people who used to give me a hard time about the way I would dress (I used to work with them), what nerve. These people were not poor, just lazy. Gee it takes a few seconds to throw on a pair of pants, shorts, sweats, etc.

bkcunningham's avatar

Too late. Everyone’s voted and your opinion doesn’t count.~

Dutchess_III's avatar

Just found this Runs away!!

ucme's avatar

so good they named him twice.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Obama Obama? O?

Seek's avatar

Die thread, die!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOLL! My thoughts too @Seek_Kolinahr! But…it’s like….I see it, and I want to ignore it….but some morbid thing makes me open it again!

Dutchess_III's avatar

feather pillows

Dutchess_III's avatar

OK! Then ice cream.

Dutchess_III's avatar

with refried beans.

Berserker's avatar

to be eaten with a francisca

Dutchess_III's avatar

an obaman freanciscan

Mama_Cakes's avatar

I stopped into a convenience store the other day with wet hair. Should I be shot? ~

tom_g's avatar

I shop at Whole Foods while wearing fleece that is not North Face.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

@tom_g Not North Face. Sacrilege! Off with your head! ~

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
Random1324's avatar

IT KEEPS GOIN’ ON!!!!!
Pancakes.
Pancakes are good.
Pancakes with suger… mmmmmmh….

cheebdragon's avatar

I miss JP, where the fuck is johnpowell?

Berserker's avatar

He deleted his account over two months ago. He always did that, deleted his account, and then came back, but now it’s been two months, not sure if he plans to return. :/

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOLL!! But not about JP. :(

Judi's avatar

I just thought about something. Since food stamps are now on an EBT card, how the heck do you know someone is using food stamps and not an ATM card?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Often you can see the card. It’s distinctive, with a big giant sunflower posted on it. Sometimes they’ll say “DO YOU TAKE FOOD STAMPS?” I was really glad when they came out with the EBT card, and I always took pains to make it not so easily visible. It was a relief from the damn stamps.

Isn’t it funny how we usually still call it “food stamps,” tho?

SuperMouse's avatar

I haven’t made it through this entire thread so forgive me if I say something that is traversing territory that has already been traveled or causing something that has calmed to flare back up, but I am so furious I have to post.

@Dutchess_III what makes you think you know all about these people’s situations? Seriously, I am student teaching right now. I work a full time job and do not make a penny. As a matter of fact, I had to pay nearly $3,000 to offer the local school district my services for 16 weeks. Looks can be deceiving and the judgmental tone of your question and responses is incredibly frustrating!

How on earth can you be so certain these pajama wearing candy buyers are “lazy people who aren’t even trying to get out of their rut”? When I was a single mom, going to school full time, and working a part time job I was on food stamps. I was (and still am, only now because I am married and working a part time job while student teaching, I make about $50 too much a month to qualify for any government assistance), working my ass off to improve my situation and as far as I am concerned anyone who had an issue with what I wore to the grocery store or what I bought could kiss my ass.

Bellatrix's avatar

^^ I do not understand the philosophy behind government policy that makes it so hard for people to improve themselves. You should be seen as an investment. A person it is worth helping to ensure that you make it through your teaching degree and out the other side. When you will become an even greater asset for your community, a mentor for the children you teach and pay back any support you were given in taxes.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Bellatrix, I hear that! The whole policy just boggles my mind.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@SuperMouse that was my beginning situation exactly. Student teaching full time, no pay, single mom, etc. There were situations that followed that that kept me in poverty for the next 5 years, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.

@Bellatrix I agree. It’s like the welfare programs are designed to keep people down, and make it damn near impossible to get out.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Dutchess III I am confused, if you have been there, why not have a bit of empathy for these people rather than judging them?

Dutchess_III's avatar

<<<< The gal in black was on foodstamps at that time that pic was taken I do have empathy for people who are struggling, but I have a hard time sympathizing with people who would go out in public dressed in their pajamas and slippers. It gives a very strong appearance of laziness and an “I don’t give a shit” attitude. Those are not good traits.

It’s wrong to judge people based on outward appearances. On the other hand, people know that assumptions will be made on how they present themselves. That’s why we dress up for job interviews. Being sloppy like that implies a bad attitude all the way around.

However, it’s also currently a fad.

dxs's avatar

@Dutchess_III I think that there are many unjustified social norms.
I remembered that this was asked a while back:
http://www.fluther.com/114933/how-would-you-judge-me-if-you-saw-me-wearing-pajama/

Dutchess_III's avatar

Most social norms things are unjustified, but we have to work around them until they change or you find yourself stuck.
Going to look look at that Q now.

cheebdragon's avatar

The gal in black was on food stamps when that pic was taken? lol that reminds me of someone saying “I’m not racist, I have a friend that’s black.”

dxs's avatar

@Dutchess_III If we work around them, then they will never change.

tom_g's avatar

@Dutchess_III: “That’s why we dress up for job interviews. Being sloppy like that implies a bad attitude all the way around.”

Wrong. That’s not why we “dress up” for interviews. In fact, we don’t “dress up” for interviews – we put on attire that is appropriate for the position you are applying to. You don’t wear a suit to an interview for every job. It might hurt you in some cases.

But more importantly – going into a convenience store is not an interview. You’re not interviewing to be an employee there, and you aren’t interviewing to be accepted by the other fools who have found themselves in a convenience store. I will argue that if you’re wearing anything other than pjs into a convenience store, you’re doing it wrong.

And remember – the fact that some people gasp and say “oh, my heavens!” when faced with people that look or dress differently than they do says more about the person who is shocked and appalled. If you see someone at a carnival next week, and you find yourself clutching your chest in shock, remember – that is the perfect opportunity to investigate your own anxieties around this issue.

302

Dutchess_III's avatar

@tom_g It’s not just about dressing “differently.”

OK, I can take the long way around ‘dressing up for an interview.’ We dress appropriately for an interview because we know that first impressions can be vital, and we know that that is exactly what we’re doing by the way we dress, making an impression.
If you see someone in a store, dressed in muddy boots and dirty jeans your first thought is “Man! They’ve been working!” You see them after 5:00 in heels and a dress “She just got off work.” On a Sunday “They just got out of church.”
You see someone in PJ’s and slippers in the middle of the day you think, “She’s just lazy.”
When you see someone dressed really crappy, and their kids don’t even have on shoes or a coat and it’s a cold day (and we’ve all seen that) you think “What kind of mother/father must they be?”
Right or wrong, we do come to opinions (or judgements, what ever you want to call them) based on their appearance, and everyone out there knows that people are going to come to some sort of opinion about them, and they just don’t give a shit.

That’s fine.

gailcalled's avatar

I start to get frustrated with the OP’s sending over 85 answers to her question, most of which is paraphrasing or straight repetition (and the rest just plain fatuous).

And to quote a useful answer: “You already said that @cheebdragon, like(sic), 3 times.”

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Me thinks that Dutchess likes to have the last word! ;)

tom_g's avatar

@Dutchess_III: “If you see someone in a store, dressed in muddy boots and dirty jeans your first thought is “Man! They’ve been working!” You see them after 5:00 in heels and a dress “She just got off work.” On a Sunday “They just got out of church.””

No. You don’t. That is what we’re saying. You don’t know anything about any of those people. If you see a person dressed in muddy boots and dirty jeans in a store, you simply see a person dressed in muddy boots and dirty jeans in a store. This is what we’re talking about. This lead you to this….

@Dutchess_III: “You see someone in PJ’s and slippers in the middle of the day you think, “She’s just lazy.””

It’s the same problem. And it is not their problem.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I do understand what you’re saying @tom_g. But every single one of us comes to conclusions based on things we see. They may right, may be wrong, may be just a passing thought, but it happens and we ALL do it. None of us wander around without a thought or an opinion in our minds.

tom_g's avatar

@Dutchess_III: “But every single one of us comes to conclusions based on things we see. They may right, may be wrong, may be just a passing thought, but it happens and we ALL do it.”

Sure, we all do this at varying levels. But this is what we’re working to reduce, right? We’re not trying to defend it in a 300+ fluther discussion. Being aware of how our minds work (and the software bugs that we may have) is quite a different thing from embracing these tendencies. Awareness that our minds can deceive us into believing that we know anything about a stranger in a convenience store is the first step. We then must figure out how we can stop these delusions.

cheebdragon's avatar

@gailcalled it’s kind of fascinating that even after 75+ answers from people pointing out the same shit, she still doesn’t really understand why it’s wrong to make assumptions based on clothing alone. Fascinating and sad, like watching a very slow train wreck…everyone’s screaming stop but nope, it’s just full steam ahead.

Judi's avatar

To be fair, it was clothing, purchase choice and food stamps that she based her judgment on.

Berserker's avatar

Man, poor @Dutchess_III is never gonna hear the end of this, is she?

Dutchess_III's avatar

‘parently not.

bob_'s avatar

I’m not gonna read all the responses because, well, there are too many and I’m too lazy. I wonder, though, is there a point to this seemingly endless debate, or are you guys just arguing for the sake of arguing?

Aethelwine's avatar

are you being lazy in a suit or pj’s @bob_? and what are you eating? who paid for your food?

these are the important questions~

augustlan's avatar

I didn’t think about this earlier, but I get to WORK in my pajamas. WIN.

Berserker's avatar

I wanna wear your pajamas

augustlan's avatar

Climb in. There’s plenty of room.

dxs's avatar

Now if they were footsie pajamas what would be the case?
~

Only138's avatar

Dammit, now I want some crab legs, some PJ’s and some food stamps. Thanks a lot. :)

Plucky's avatar

I think the all important question here is… did the person have a baseball cap on backwards?

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s alive! SHIT!!! It popped up and I almost fell out of my chair.

I don’t think anyone would do that because baseball caps totally CLASH with pajamas and slippers. It would be in very poor form. ;}~

Berserker's avatar

Footsy pajamas are awesome. I had some when I was little, and the bottom of the feet part were made of this weird material that made all this noise when you walked, and I thought it was funny.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I read a joke in the Reader’s Digest once in Life In These United States (where people submit their own “really happened to me” stories.) This gal worked in a lingerie store. It was winter time, really cold outside, and a customer walked in. The customer said, “Well, I want something sexy. With feet.” :)

Random1324's avatar

It keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Why!! We get it! Stop posting! Kill teh thread, fire the director, Leave dis thread alooooone…. geez.

I think maybe this thread has had 50 posts atleast CONGRATS DUTCHESS, you are very famous

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEESSSSSSSS
‘Scuse me outburst

Dutchess_III's avatar

Would you like my autograph, @Random1324? I would like some pancakes.

Random1324's avatar

Haha! Na. But heres a pancake
Gives Dutchess_III a pancake

Dutchess_III's avatar

butter and syrup, please. And put your clothes back on!

Random1324's avatar

Awwwwwwwww… but its my true form!

I never understood why people don’t have sugar instead of syurp…

@tom_g 100101101001010101010101111001001001011010101010101101010100011010001.

Dutchess_III's avatar

And I don’t understand why it’s OK to have pancakes and syrup for breakfast, but not cupcakes.

You just crashed my computer with your binary code @Random1324!!

Random1324's avatar

@Dutchess_III Ooops… sorry

Ok, this thread is going on forever.
Everyone knows that Dutchess made a “mistake” in LIFE! So don’t judge, everyone has made mistakes. So anyone that just joined, go to another question, the thread has been answered.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Note, singular “a mistake.” Not plural. :)

Random1324's avatar

Ah. Thank you for the update, correcting language perimeters now.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Just noting that it was the only mistake I’ve ever made. :)

cheebdragon's avatar

This is the song never ends, yes, it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends, yes, it goes on and on my friends….

Lamb chop was the shit.

Seek's avatar

Charlie Horse was my favourite.

cheebdragon's avatar

Charlie horse was the best, I just always liked how bitchy and rude lambchop was. That’s also why I always thought tinker bell was cool as fuck, she was a bitch, she didnt like Wendy and she never tried to hide it, she even tried to kill her a few times, that’s dedication right there….gotta respect it.

bkcunningham's avatar

I can’t find that other thread, @Seek_Kolinahr, where you asked about ideas for the ice breaker for the painting party. Since we are all sitting around in our jammies, I thought I’d ask what you decided. I know it isn’t what you had in mind, but I can’t stop thinking that I love the idea of having a business doing it at people’s homes. Good extra money.

Seek's avatar

I haven’t actually decided anything yet. In fact, I’m still undecided as to a subject to paint. It seems like for the first go I’ll need to do something with more direction. We can pursue individual painting projects in later groups.

http://www.fluther.com/158428/how-should-i-break-the-ice/

cheebdragon's avatar

Rainbows….you can never go wrong with painting a mother fuckin rainbow.
(mother fuckin to add extra emphasis on the rainbows)

Besides..ANYONE can paint a rainbow, but not everyone can go all “Bob Ross” on some trees in a forest scene.

Seek's avatar

There are no mistakes. Only happy accidents.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Mmmmmmm…..

cheebdragon's avatar

And mangled stick figures.

Random1324's avatar

How’d we get from Convenience Stores to rainbows…

cheebdragon's avatar

How did we not?

cheebdragon's avatar

@Dutchess_III this reminded me of you, lol, not the beginning of it, but after the lottery part. Just skip to 2:00, it’s perfect, trust me.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Do I really want to do that @cheebdragon?! Well, OK.”

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! Two kinds of guys with pony tails…rapists and folk singers! :)

bkcunningham's avatar

“You should judge people. All the time. That’s how you get through life.” That was pretty funny, @cheebdragon. Seriously though, would you guys give me your opinion on something? Please? Do you think this outfit is too casual for a job interview? I mean. I’m not going to interview for a job as a brain surgeon or anything. Whatcha think?

Bellatrix's avatar

:-| @bkcunningham. That is very…. colourful. You will stand out from the crowd.

cheebdragon's avatar

@bkcunningham I would wear this everywhere, if I could, lol. I am just as comfortable being obnoxiously over dressed as I am wearing my pj’s, doesn’t matter if I’m going to the gas station or to a wedding. Of course I wouldn’t go out dressed all fancy without my hair and makeup done up to match, but if I like it, I will wear it, and I will be seen damn it!......hopefully not on the “people of Walmart” website though, LMFAO.

Seek's avatar

@cheebdragon Few things are more fun than going shopping dressed in full garb. The best was in full Southern belle getup, ball gown, hoop skirt, the works. But if I have the choice, Renaissance Wench. I would dress like that every day if I could get away with it.

bkcunningham's avatar

My granddaughter loves long, sparkling, twirly dresses. The more sparkly and lace the better. I hope she grows up to be just like @Seek_Kolinahr and @cheebdragon.

cheebdragon's avatar

ooh, how old is she? Do you have a party city store near you?

cheebdragon's avatar

Party City has recently become my favorite store….they have some really awesome stuff! like these…... And this too!
It’s all really inexpensive, I found a set of 24 mini glitter nail polishes and a set of 20 lip gloss all for less than $5, and divided it up between my friends daughter, my 4 year old niece and myself.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I got a beautiful, exotic, glittery belt at a garage sale for $.50 yesterday. Bought it to throw in the magic toy box. It was still out when my son snagged it yesterday. PUT IT IN THE TOY BOX CHRIS!! :)

bkcunningham's avatar

She’s going to be 4 next week. She is into the Disney princesses and fairies. We just got back from an afternoon at Epcot. My husband and I took her with us. Just the three of us and we met up with my friend who lives three minutes from Disney World. We saw an ELO concert. Addie had to wear a dress, sparkly shoes and her princess sunglasses. She was so tired when we took her home. She was danced and tuckered out. My husband said it was the low point of his life. Going to a rock concert with his granddaughter. It was a highlight for me. Going to a concert with a glittery princess. It doesn’t happen every day.

Seek's avatar

@cheebdragon That rainbow tutu needs to be in my life.

Dutchess_III's avatar

O thread. I have missed you and I am so bored.

Seek's avatar

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

bkcunningham's avatar

Well, that’s just…this.

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOLL!!
Maybe we could….drown it?

cheebdragon's avatar

I say we use the same method used here,
It’s quite possibly the ONLY WAY…..those little demon bugs are pure evil.

Dutchess_III's avatar

“Why are potato bugs so ugly and frightening? Why do they look part human? Where did they come from?
A: The most widely held belief is that God didn’t create potato bugs. It was Satan’s work. And amongst evolutionists and non-religious types, the consensus is that potato bugs came from outer space.
Oh that whole thing was funny @cheebdragon! :)

cheebdragon's avatar

My favorite is
Q: I caught a potato bug in a field behind my house, and now its my pet. How do I sex it?
A: Just e-mail us your name and address, and we’ll notify the proper authorities about you. You should be locked up.

cheebdragon's avatar

They aren’t very little at all….thankfully they primarily seem to come out to die in some random location so they are already good and dead when found…...usually, but not always.

augustlan's avatar

Hungry now.

Random1324's avatar

Why are we even still on this thread. I mean really, how many times do we need to just talk on a thread… Ice cream.

dxs's avatar

@Random1324 Ask yourself.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Pancakes and ice cream!!!

cheebdragon's avatar

Psht pancakes with peanut butter & ice cream.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My sisters used to eat pb on their pancakes. That’s a sign of mental instability, IMO! They also used to eat Captain Crunch. Gag!

bkcunningham's avatar

LMAO, Eat Captain Crunch and gag. Is that a telescope in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh @bkcunningham! Your mind is twisted!! Go to your room!

cheebdragon's avatar

Captain crunch sucks, it kills the roof of your mouth.

Random1324's avatar

Anyone ever try peanut butter on a taco shell… with mayo and mustard… and everything else that’s around (Like say salt too, but I don’t wanna disgust you guys), I was feeling creative at the time.

DoNotKnowMuch's avatar

Do you get frustrated with people who walk in to a voting location in their pajamas AND slippers, and vote for a third-party candidate?

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