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ETpro's avatar

[SFW] What jobs would you refuse regardless of the pay?

Asked by ETpro (34605points) April 26th, 2013

I’m talking about things that are legal to do, not being a hit-man or some such. If you can’t think of a thing that’s SFW but too awful for you to ever do, then perhaps you want the NSFW version of this question.

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42 Answers

livelaughlove21's avatar

House cleaner. I can barely be bothered to clean my own.

Babysitter, teacher, day care worker, etc. I have an aversion to kids.

ucme's avatar

Chiropodist, I fucking hate feet.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@ucme I’ve never seen that word in my life. I’ve only heard them called podiatrists. Learn something new everyday!

picante's avatar

Dental hygienist or pedicurist. What’s beneath your gumline or under your toenails is none of my damn business.

ucme's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Yeah, maybe I shoulda just said foot doctor.

jonsblond's avatar

You might as well kill me if I had to be stuck in a cubicle with no windows for 8 or more hours a day. I’d rather work at Walmart.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Proctologist. Never understood that one.

SpatzieLover's avatar

A plumber.
Though I do bits of plumbing around my own home/businesses, there’s NO WAY I’d deal with other people’s sh*t all day.
I also would never be a the person that hauls port-a-potties, or anything along the lines of dealing with that stench or those germs all day…Yuck!

Money would not lure me to pick up road kill all day long, or highway trash, either.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Any type of office based job. I couldn’t imagine just sitting in an office day in day out. I’d go mad.

jonsblond's avatar

@uberbatman I know, right? I need to be up and moving and at least be able to look outside. It would drive me crazy.

Berserker's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Ha yeah. I mean, you can’t really talk about your job at the dinner table, either.

Grandma; So how was everyone’s day today?

Office Guy; Yeah, work was hell today. Had a million contracts, half of them not even started!

Colorectal guy; One of my patient’s colon was so swollen up, I had to perform an emergency procedure, which goes like this. What you do is…

Office guy; ...dude.

Grandma; ’‘barf’’

But being a proctologist, I bet the poppy’s fucking good though.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Symbeline LMAO Thanks. You’re priceless.

RandomGirl's avatar

A desk job in the city. I spent a weekend in the “big city” recently. Our hotel room was on the sixth floor. It was distressing, being that high up, and still being hardly able to see the sky. I didn’t hyperventilate or anything, but I felt caged up. This reaction is weird, though, since I’m not an outdoors-y person, but I’m so used to being able to see the sky without looking straight up! I could never take a job like that, regardless of the money. Money doesn’t buy happiness or sanity!

janbb's avatar

Honey wagon driver

Pachy's avatar

I’ve been blessed throughout my working life usually getting the jobs I wanted and enjoyed; only once or twice along the way did I take one I knew was wrong for me because I needed the money.

Hopefully I’ll never be in a dire position again, but if it were to happen, I hesitate now to rule anything out.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@janbb I drove the honey wagon. Worst one was after I cleaned out the chicken coop. We had 25 to 30 chickens and chicken manure dries out fast after you get rid of the chickens and it’s very light and dusty. I didn’t check the wind direction when I hit the pto lever. It was blowing the absolute wrong way and this huge dusty cloud settled on me and the tractor. I never did that again.

Mr_Paradox's avatar

Call center guy. Did that for ONE DAY, nearly hung myself with the phone cord.

YARNLADY's avatar

A clerk in a tobacco store.

filmfann's avatar

Those people who work for insurance companies that come see you in the hospital, and tell you your insurance coverage has run out, and you are going to have to either pay for it yourself, or go home. Same for the people who work for your company, who call you and tell you your disability has run out, and you need to come back to work.
My brother and several co workers of mine have told me about these people, and I swear I would put a gun to my head before I would do that job.

ucme's avatar

Blowjobs…keep your money you filthy animal.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

The person who has to clean out all the animal shit at the zoo.

jonsblond's avatar

^^Cleaning out animal shit sounds better to me than answering phones all day. what is wrong with me? ;)

SpatzieLover's avatar

@jonsblond, Animal shit I can handle! For real. That I’ll do. Human shit is the no for me. ;)
I agree with phones. Ugh!

jonsblond's avatar

@SpatzieLover I agree. Human shit is usually indoors. Yuck to the indoors shit. At least with animal poo you can slip some ear buds in and shovel away. It’s good exercise, even if it smells.

woodcutter's avatar

Any complaint dept. I know I would get myself shitcanned before my first paycheck.

ETpro's avatar

@livelaughlove21 I’d change baby diapers any day rather than spend a single day changing adult diapers in a nursing home. Kudos to those who are hardened and barf-proof enough to do it. But we’re talking any amount of money here. I could do any nasty job for enough cold, hard cash.

@ucme Feet aren’t a part of the human anatomy I greatly admire either, but there are people who feel just the opposite, and would do that job for free. Hell, some pay to check feet. Even what a good doctor earns would be enough for me to cry all the way to the bank. :-)

@picante Having cleaned up those areas of my own body, I understand how you feel. But this is another area where in an approach/avoidance conflict cash for approaching wins with me.

@jonsblond I work a desk job, but from home, and with a window touching my left elbow. Not so bad. And remember, if the pay is right, you could soon buy up the corporation and move yourself into the executive suite.

@Adirondackwannabe Funny, I can think of a number of people I’d play proctologist for, but we’d have to talk about that in the “NSFW Version””:http://www.fluther.com/158587/nsfw-what-jobs-would-you-refuse-regardless-of-the-pay/ of this Bi-Question. Funny, my proctologist is one of the. She’s dead sexy. I do wonder how med students explain their choice of specialty to their parents, though. :-)

@SpatzieLover I’d do plumbing for what plumbers actually make. Mine drives a better car than my banker and my cardiologist. And that’s just his work vehicle. I would want some serious bucks to do the other two.

@uberbatman No job’s worth going mad over. But I can buy a ton of Prozac and counseling on $1 million an hour.

@Symbeline My favorite part of proctology is the part where I ask the patient to bend over and cough for me while my finger’s up their rear. I always enjoy the puzzled look they get when they notice that both my hands are on their shoulders. :-)

@RandomGirl We’re talking any pay scale you want here. I the city, the floor level goes up with the pay. The view from the top is grand. A few grand an hour and a grand view. This I can do.

@janbb Yep. That one needs to come with spectacular pay.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room I’m that way too. There are jobs I love, and others I’d really rather not do. But other than the hired dick-wad jobs like working for banks to evict people who have never missed a mortgage payment, enough money can keep me happy.

@Mr_Paradox Call center I could easily do for the right price. At least I can speak English well enough that most of the people in my country now have no idea what I am saying. :-)

@YARNLADY As long as they didn’t allow smoking in the story, I’d be cool with doing that. I’d consider it doing my little part to help cleanse the gene pool.

@filmfann Yep, those are the dick-wad jobs. Those, my price would be so high I could buy the corporation in a day or two, sell of its assets, and retire with it happily out of the business of profiting on providing misery to the least among us.

@ucme What’s not to love. On top of getting paid well, it’s all you can eat and a good source of protein. But that’s really for the NSFW version.

@WillWorkForChocolate Animals need love too—and extensive poop removal. I could definitely manage that for the right pay.

@jonsblond I totally agree. The shit human beings hand out over the phone can be a lot harder to take than the natural shit animals pass each day.

@SpatzieLover To me, that depends on the human. But again, that’s off in the NSFW version.

@woodcutter Hey, it it paid a million an hour for the time you lasted, what a way to go. Singing “You can take this job and shove it…”

jonsblond's avatar

@ETpro I’d still be sitting on my butt all day. I need to be up and moving. I really would be happier with a job that kept me active, even if it meant I would receive less pay. Being outdoors is a bonus.

ETpro's avatar

@jonsblond Each of has our own limit line. I hope you know I wasn’t being dismissive of yours when describing mine.

jonsblond's avatar

I know @ETpro. You caught me at a time when I don’t feel like being quiet (it’s rare). I’m only saying that my dream job is more fulling than yours. :)

ETpro's avatar

@jonsblond My heart goes out to you for all your problems. But hey, this question isn’t about a dream job, it’s about how far from your dream job you’d be willing to go. When you have creditors sending constables to the door to arrest you if you don’t cough up thousands of dollars on the spot, you’d be surprised what you could imagine doing for the right money.

jonsblond's avatar

@ETpro I’m completely calm and I’m confused by the misunderstanding. I’m smiling now. If I’ve gotten off the path of what you want answered, I apologized. This is in social and I thought we were all cool. I was just saying that I wouldn’t accept a billion dollars if I wasn’t happy with what I was doing. My point is I wouldn’t go far from my dream job because it isn’t worth it to me. I just went through a foreclosure and bankruptcy 3 years ago. I know what it’s like to be desperate I thought the smiley face at the end of my sentence was understandable. jeesh. fuck me for trying to have a conversation.

ETpro's avatar

@jonsblond Aha. My apologies for misunderstanding what you were trying to state. I guess my present financial difficulty has me in a mindset where turning down high-paying gainful employment would be almost unthinkable to me.

YARNLADY's avatar

@ETpro Both of my parents were life long smokers, and both died 20 to 30 years before their time, after contributing three new people to the gene pool. My brother, also a life long smoker, is currently in the final stages of emphysema and expected to die any day now.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@ETpro Well I’ve done the nursing home thing and changed plenty of adult diapers. And I did it for free in nursing school. So, I couldn’t say I wouldn’t do that, seeing as I did.

Oh, and baby diapers is the least of my worries around kids. I just don’t typically like them.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@jonsblond I guess it’s all about personality. I’ve had several desk jobs, and it didn’t bother me. But thinking about being a “poo cleaner” just makes me want to gag, haha! I don’t mind baby poo at all, but now that it’s been mentioned, I wouldn’t want be a diaper changer in a nursing home, either. I’d quit that job pretty quick, probably.

Mr_Paradox's avatar

@ETpro You have obviously never worked in a call center before have you?

ETpro's avatar

@YARNLADY Then I completely understand why you’d avoid working in a tobacconist’s shop.

@livelaughlove21 Aha. I see.

@WillWorkForChocolate Will work for chocolate, just not that kind. :-)

@Mr_Paradox No, I haven’t. I am self employed and on some days about all I do is field calls and do telephone training. But I’ve never worked in an actual call center. What did you find so off-putting about it?

Mr_Paradox's avatar

@ETpro There is this game called “I Get This Call Every Day”. It is a short and pretty stupid game that perfectly illustrates the frustrating idiots you have to put up with all day.

ETpro's avatar

@Mr_Paradox Aha. Well I get that a great deal in my work as a Web developer. I’ve developed an immunity to it over the years. But I totally get what you’re talking about.

livelaughlove21's avatar

You have to deal with those idiots in every customer service job. Every. Single. One. In fact, I’d argue that you have to deal with those idiots at every job in which you’re around other people. People generally suck.

Blueroses's avatar

I’m with @filmfann

I couldn’t work for the devil aka health insurance companies.

Having to deal with those people on behalf of my customers, and being the person who has to break the news that,
“Yes. Your $660 Byetta pen was covered last year and we know your Dr. gave prior authorization confirming this is the most effective treatment for your diabetes… however
It is no longer on your insurance company’s preferred formulary and additionally, they claim to have discovered undisclosed medical history on your original application (remember that benign cyst in your neck when you were 17?) and they now demand that you go through approved formulary treatments first.”
“Yes. I know you already spent 3 years doing that and they didn’t work. I’m sorry, really sorry.”
“No, I can’t force it through for acceptance. Here’s the company’s phone number. Good luck, you poor fucker.”

ETpro's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Agreed. Humanity’s only redeeming grace is that some of them suck/lick real good. :-) Those that don’t even manage that really suck.

@Blueroses Now that’s one job I’d only do for enough money to buy the stinking company, fire all the Jack the Ripper type employees, and start paying for people’s medical care. I’d need enough pay that I could go on keeping subscribers healthy as long as I lived.

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