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bboy's avatar

Extremely Overprotective parent...

Asked by bboy (101points) May 15th, 2013

Hi there other members of Fluther. My parents are extremely overprotective (mostly my mom, but my dad will not argue with her). So I have been wanting to get a job selling newspapers with a friends, and it is really good money (this week he is making 900) and he has worked their for a few years. Your boss drops you off, you work for 2 hours, and then go home. I asked my mom and she said no. I asked why and she listed the following; you will get shot if you knock on anyone’s door, you are not riding with anyone else because they will get hit, I will sit there if I let you, which I am not, etc. Its honestly insane to think someone could be this overprotective. It goes so far as I can not walk to a friends house who lives less than 2 blocks away, as I am guaranteed (according to her) to get kidnapped. Basically I was wondering is there anything I can do at all to get her to lighten up? Ive tried being nice about, letting it go and coming back to it, everything with no results, so, I am turning to the people of the internet. Thanks to any help.

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14 Answers

Mariah's avatar

How old are you? Do you live in an area with a lot of crime?

900 in a week for 2 hours of work per day? Are you making $64 an hour? Something doesn’t seem right here.

bboy's avatar

Im 15, and the worst crime around here is the occasional 7/11 robbery. (Maybe 2 last year, both at least 10–15 miles away). So an average area.
Also, forgot to add this, everyone that works there is my age of maybe a year younger/older so it is not like this is uncommon for them,

XOIIO's avatar

Find a different job to do

Crumpet's avatar

Explain to your parents that they cannot keep you wrapped in cotton wool.
It’s a big world out there and you need to be prepared for it. You’re not going to live under their roof for the rest of your life, and you can’t get any life experience if you’re not allowed to do anything.

When I went to university, I had a flatmate who’s parents were religious nuts and extremely over protective of her. They finally had to let her go, so she could go to university.
She didn’t have a clue about how the world works, got robbed in her first week, and got taken advantage of by people.

By not not giving you any freedom, your parents are actually damaging you.
See if you could talk to them, or maybe talk to a cool uncle or aunt and get them to have a word.

kimchi's avatar

Ahah. I love this question. My parents are overprotective, too. Do good things around the house, such as chores, helping parents out, etc. Or, list the positives of what you’re doing and then tell your parents that. It’ll work.

LuckyGuy's avatar

How are your grades in school? Does she want you to concentrate on school work instead? If she will not let you work away from home ask her if there is some way you can earn money by working for her around the house. Think of jobs that need to be done. Paint the barn? Clean up the attic? Repair the basement steps? Dig out or expand the garden?
Type up the list and present it to her with an estimate of how long you think each job will take and give her a price estimate.

bboy's avatar

To all of this. I have tried explaining and she will not budge. I basically clean the house by myself every weekend, maybe one weekend a month I decide I don’t feel like it. I have a 4.0 GPA both first, and this semester. There are no other jobs I can do at 15 that will allow me to make much money, as to the 20 hour/week work limit for minors. We don’t have a barn (thought that was funny) and she is so overprotective as to I can not cut the grass because she said I will cut my foot. I even go as to cook dinner once a week. I have no aunts/uncles I have any relation with. I basically hate my grandparents as one set only care for my older brother and the other we do not really like at all. Ive listed everything, tried everything, my dad wont even voice his opinion because my mom begins to rage, cussing people out, then gets upset and says “If I die of a heart attack its your (me) fault, if we get divorced its your fault, etc etc etc. I doubt she means it but it makes me feel horrid, my dad just gets mad, does nothing and acts like nothing happens, and my brothers don’t care at all as one is 12 and immature and the other just does not care either way, this goes beyond jobs. No R movies, nothing above Teen for gaming, no staying overnight at friends houses, not letting my friends parents take me to movies (she has known them for 3 years). It sucks, to a point it is ridiculous.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@bboy You can tell what jobs need to be done around my house. I’d also add fix the front lamp post, sand and paint the garage door, take down the two dead pine trees, unload the trailer and split and stack the wood.

bboy's avatar

The lamp is fixed, I doubt she would let me use electric sander (not doin that by hand :P), We dont have any dead trees, dont have a trailer, no fireplace. I mean nothing big needs doing and I do almost all the indoor work. I mean, work is not the answer, otherwise id get whatever I wanted with all the work I do.

rojo's avatar

I had a friend who did this for years, started at about 15 with one route, and ended up with, I believe, five. He would get up at some ungodly hour in the morning, bag or string the papers, throw them and be done by 6 am. At that point he was through for the day except for his school work.
After he graduated HS he continued to do it for several years before he got a “real” job. Made enough money to be happy. had enough free time to find additional work when he wanted extra cash, which happened very rarely.
Upsides, lots of free daytime hours, made a living wage with five routes, learned to drive with his knees and pitch things out of both sides of the car simultaneously, made furniture out of the extra papers.
Downsides, usually retired early even on Friday and Saturday nights, worked seven days a week, had to collect money from a-holes who did not want to pay for the paper.
It’s a living.

bboy's avatar

Oh, its not delivery lol. You sign them up, get paid a commission, and the other guy delivers it. Your maybe like 5 minutes at a door, you pitch to them, and if they sign up depending on what they do you get a 20–30 dollar commission.

Seek's avatar

Here’s what you do:

Nothing. Sorry, but at 15 your options are limited by what your parents allow. It sucks, but that’s life. If they are unreasonable, you need to live within unreasonable expectations. Be glad she’s not punching you in the face twice a day. I had both sides of that coin, myself.

On the downlow, form what friendships you can with mates whose parents own small businesses. The second you turn 18, get a job with one of them, and move the fuck out. Don’t look back.

bboy's avatar

@Seek I think thats the best answer I have gotten.

Seek's avatar

Been there, hon. Hope it works out for you. Welcome to fluther, by the way. It’s full of good people who make great friends. I hope you stick around.

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