Is it irrational to fear developing a terminal illness?

Yes, it is indeed scary but not irrational—not if you keep in in perspective. Just to try take care of yourself as best you can and remind yourself from time to time that what you worry about the most never happens, and if it does, it was out of your control.

I don’t think anyone welcomes a serious disease, so in that sense it’s not irrational. But dwelling on it only causes you to suffer now, whether or not illness causes you to suffer later.

What’s not rational is to think of it as something that comes to you in “your turn.” Diseases aren’t conscious entities that distribute themselves according to some human notion of justice or frequency or probability. Minimizing your risk makes sense, but trying to predict your future does not.

I have a friend who is obsessed with avoiding terminal illness. She does not use deodorant, does not put starch on her clothes (not that I do but I don’t avoid it purposely), stuff like that.

It’s natural but you have to get a handle on it so you’re not living in fear, which can be debilitating. You could develope a horrible disease, you could get hit by a car tomorrow, or die in your bed surrounded by friends and family.

You’re trying to minimize the risk, but face it, people die who have never smoked once. People have heart-attacks at age 30. The only thing that you know for sure is that you won’t live forever so why stress on it?! Carpe Diem!

If the fear isn’t taking over your life then you’re probably fine. It is a scary, and very real, possibility.

Sure, I agree @KNOWITALL but I don’t think I’d want to do chemo or something…God bless them who do! but I can’t see it. The fear isn’t taking over my life. I do want weird goings on in my physical body checked though!

Well, life is terminal. You will die from something some day so I would say living in fear is kind of irrational. Fear never prevented anything. Proactive lifestyle, preventative screening? Yes. Fear? Not so much.

Frat…is that like a countrified slang of fright?? haha

Life is way too short to invent your own sword of Damocles. There is a lot of freedom in not being afraid of death. It’ll come. No rush. Nobody gets out alive. In the meantime, fahgettaboudit.

It is only irrational if you let the fear dictate how you run your life.

It’s certainly not an irrational concern. On the other hand, having no concern at all isn’t necessarily irrational, is it?

So, you know of cancer and how it can affect people’s lives, and you know people close to you that have been so affected directly. It makes perfect sense to study this and see “what are the risk factors?” as well as you can tell, and how can I live my life to avoid those?

The problem is that unless you’re doing research constantly, it’s hard to know for certain what the risk factors really are. And some identified risk factors (as far as we know by the state of the art) are nearly impossible to avoid. I’m reminded in a way of the way science regarded some illnesses of the Middle Ages and even up to the twentieth century: “Night vapors” were a concern; tomatoes were thought to be poisonous; black cats represented dire things, and so on.

Well, you could live by those rules and avoid the night air, eat a very bland diet of “exactly what everyone else eats, and nothing new or tasty for me, thanks”, kill or banish various household pets and other things of that nature… and still get the diseases, because no one really knew the causes: bacterial and fungal infections, viruses and other pathogens. Dirty hands and fouled food and water killed more people than “night vapors” ever could. (The “poison” of tomatoes was the lead seals used in the canning process, which leached into the contents of the jar through the acidity of the tomato itself.)

So, where is all of this going?

I try to keep abreast of “some” research into the modern diseases that can hurt us (because something is going to kill us eventually, no matter how perfectly we try to live; I just want to avoid hurt in the meantime, and live well for as long as possible). And based on the research that I read about that seems plausible to me – not all of it does – I make choices to “moderate” my behavior in some areas.

My family has a history of heart disease, for example. So for me, the things I need to be aware of and modify are diet, exercise, blood pressure, etc. But I still eat things that are bad for me – in moderation, because I like them, dammit! – don’t exercise enough, but take care to be moderate in that when I do, and try to maintain blood pressure within the guidelines given by my doctor. But I don’t stress about things when I don’t eat right, when I feel lazy and sluggish, and when my blood pressure moves higher than it should.

I suggest that you attempt to maintain a balance between “being aware” and “control when you can”, and always tip the scale towards, “fuck it, you’re going to die eventually anyway; enjoy your life while you have it.”

@Ltryptophan Of course you should listen to your body and do everything possible to prevent it, but there are people out there who actually let the ‘fear’ itself ruin their lives or literally drive them crazy.

Cancer isn’t an automatic death sentence anymore and doing your yearly scheduled exams is the best way NOT to die of cancer. So do that and be happy.

My mom has Stage 4 breast cancer in remission for over a year and is one of the happiest people I know. She does more to help others in one day than most of us do in a year, cancer or not.

It is not irrational to fear that which we cannot control. The irrationality comes about when we become obsessed with the fear and allow it to control our lives.

If a fear or obsession gets in the way of your living the life you want to live, it becomes a neurosis and is treatable. Get some help. You don’t have to live with these fears restraining you from living as you’d like to. Ask around for referrals to counselors who deal with this kind of proble.

We’re all going to die. Why waste time worrying about how when life is waiting to be lived.

It’s reasonable to keep an eye on contributing factors to a disease, especially if it runs in the family. Would a person with alcoholism on both sides be considered “silly” for watching his own intake and drinking habits? As long as it doesn’t turn into an irrational fear of cocktails, I’d say that person is being responsible. While it’s true that none of us are getting out of here alive, why make that inevitable road rockier than necessary?

To have just enough fear to motivate you to speak to your doctor, attend regular checkups and to lead a healthy lifestyle would not be irrational. Allowing the fear to spoil your life would be irrational.

Nobody gets out of here alive. You might as well make the most of it while you can.

Since there had been cases of cancer in your family it is a legitimate worry.
As long as you are aware of the possibilities and seeing a doctor regularly you should be on top of any developments.
Then take it easy, live for what you have now.

@Ltryptophan: but I don’t think I’d want to do chemo or something…God bless them who do! but I can’t see it.

I had chemotherapy and several other somethings 17 years ago. It was bearable and doeable and far better than the alternative. Personally I know score of people who ten the same story.

Statistically, there are millions of cancer survivors who have had treatment and are now surfing, climbing Mt. Everest, eating an ice cream cone or simply tickling their grangchildren because of their choices.

@gailcalled When I was in my 20’s, I swore I would never get any kind of treatment, I’d just lay down and die peacefully.

What I didn’t realize, is the AMOUNT of pain you’re talking about here. Even palliative care is absolutely necessary for a lot of people/ animals.

@gailcalled I just don’t know if I have that kind of courage. Maybe faced with death, I might find it. But, I don’t think so.

^^^ Cancer, when left untreated, usually leads to death. Choosing treatment was the ultimate no-brainer for me.

@Ltryptophan: My mom had chemo about two years ago. Nowadays they give you lots of anti-nausea medications with the chemo, so you’re not as nauseous as people used to be in the past (as in from the Gilda Radner days). She said it made her fatigued for a few days afterwards, and it got progressively more tiring session after session. Then it was over after about 8 sessions (don’t remember if it was once a week or once every other week). I don’t think it was any walk in the park but it wasn’t a total nightmare like it used to be 20 or 30 years ago (i.e. Gilda Radner era when we’d read about people blowing up and throwing up 24/7 like total torture). Like @gailcalled said, the alternative is death so chemo is really the only choice.

Chemo did make my mom’s toenails all fall off, made her hair fall out (it grew back) and also caused permanent neuropathy in her feet, but it was a better alternative than death.

@jca makes a good point that I had forgotten. The anti-nausea pills make a huge difference. I was given the purple pill before I even got out of the infusion chair.

@gailcalled Nexium?

Isn’t that a newer generation heartburn or GERD drug?

This was specifically designed to combat chemo nausea, a nasty thing. The nurse told me that before the pill, patients couldn’t get out the infusion center door without vomiting.

Zofran!