Recently discovered my wife of 10yrs has been having an affair with another woman. I am crushed and not sure how to cope?

My wife of 10yrs has been having a ‘Co-worker’/ friend over when I am out of town. Recently I have discovered that she has spent the night a few times. I had an idea something was going on but was not completly sure until I ran across a text this past weekend discussing some very interesting topics between my wife and other woman. When I brought it to her attention she was almost relieved that I knew and stated that she has always been intimidated by men and uncomfortable around them. I am really not sure how to feel…Did I drive her to these feelings? I feel like the guy in old school who comes home from a business trip to find another Man and woman in his BR. I feel like I don’t even know my wife and that our 10yr marriage was a sham. I have 2 young kids and no idea how this will wear on them. I know that I as well as their mother will continue to love them and try to provide for all their needs, but I’m concerned. Any feedback would be appreciated.