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YARNLADY's avatar

Is is odd for parents to stay with a 16 year old hospital patient every minute of every day?

Asked by YARNLADY (43431points) June 23rd, 2013

My nephew has been hospitalized every week this month, with one four day weekend at home. His parents have taken leave from work to make sure he is never alone. This seems odd to me.

He has severe pancreatitus with gall bladder complications.

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28 Answers

woodcutter's avatar

No not odd. They are in the process of doing a burn out test.

Aethelwine's avatar

They are worried about their child. I don’t see what’s so odd about that.

augustlan's avatar

It’d be really hard to leave my kid alone at a hospital, even at that age.

cutiepi92's avatar

nah don’t think so. Theyre just incredibly worried. That’s normal

whitenoise's avatar

It may be odd, but not weird.

If I could manage what they do, then I’d likely do the same. That is… until the moment my kid would send me off… However, so far I have been lucky enough to never have had to leave one of my boys behind in a hospital.

I know people that would not even leave their perfectly healthy child under the care of someone else until the child is five years old and they were forced to send it off to school. Now that is overdoing it, in my eyes…)

tups's avatar

It’s not odd at all.

LornaLove's avatar

I think it depends on the parents and the child, perhaps that is how they do things. If it works for them ‘odd’ is neither here nor there. I guess it would be odd if he were an adult though!

bookish1's avatar

I don’t think it’s odd, especially if this is his first major health crisis. If their work allows them to take time off to take care of their kid, what’s the problem?

Katniss's avatar

No. It’s not odd. My son is 18 and I’d do the same thing.
When my brother was 19 he was hurt really bad in a motorcycle accident, my parents were with him the whole time.

When you have kids you’ll understand.

SuperMouse's avatar

I would be there every minute I possibly could be and when I wasn’t there I would want someone to be there with him. Not odd.

Cupcake's avatar

Does the 16 year old want his parents there? I think that is the real question. At 16 it doesn’t really matter if the parents want to be there or not… whether the 16 year old wants them there is what matters.

I was left alone in the hospital overnight at 11. It was terrifying. But 16 is a whole different developmental stage.

I would ask my son if he wanted me there. If he did, I would be there as much as I could. Two parents taking leave from work seems excessive to me… unless there were unusual circumstances. I would likely choose, instead, to save my vacation/leave time for when he was recovering at home, not while he was in the hospital.

marinelife's avatar

It is very caring of them.

elbanditoroso's avatar

They feel guilty for having been less than ideal parents. Being there is a way of trying to work though their guilt.

chelle21689's avatar

Why would it be? I would be concerned. I would feel lonely in a hospital of I had no one all day and night.

keobooks's avatar

It’s a tradition in my family that EVERYONE have someone there with them the entire length of visiting hours when they are in the hospital—regardless of age. My grandmother stayed by my grandfather from 8 AM til 8PM (taking time off for lunch—and usually my mom or uncle was there when she ate) When I was in the hospital when my daughter was born, my husband or mother was always with me. My grandfather and I are much older than 16.

Also FYI, pancreatitis is pretty serious. You can go downhill quickly and die from it with almost no warning. Though at his age, he’ll likely recover, it IS pretty serious still.

Inspired_2write's avatar

These parents may know something about his condition that you may not know.
Obviously they are worried and want to be there for there son should he take a turn for the worst.
Usually to say goodbye, and that they love him etc
I would not begrudge them that.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Why on earth would it be odd to stay with your child at the hospital? Hell, when I had an appendectomy at age 21, both my husband and my mom stayed with me all three days.

seekingwolf's avatar

It depends from family to family.

Personally, I find it kind of odd unless someone is under the age of 15 or so or is actually dying/very serious. I have no idea about your nephew’s condition. Maybe it’s actually very serious.

As someone who works in the hospital (I work nights) I do admittedly get annoyed when I see families stay overnight and expect food and accomodations to stay with a family member who is doing fine and getting discharged soon. It’s disruptive to other patients.

I’m having major surgery this fall and I want my parents to visit but I’d be awfully weirded out if they wanted to stay over night or something like that.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@seekingwolf My husband and mother both ate food from the cafeteria or deli while they were there, and didn’t ask for any special accommodations. I guess some people treat a hospital like a hotel?

YARNLADY's avatar

Thank for the thoughtful answers. He is in a children’s hospital which provides what they call a family room, with a couch for sleeping on. The parents trade off so someone is with him 24 hours.

Their main concern is to be available when the doctor is there, so they don’t miss out on any important information, and for the boy in case he has any issues.

Mariah's avatar

My parents would stay with me for most of the day and, if I asked them to, at night. Hospitalization fucking sucks, and kids are still fragile at that age.

seekingwolf's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate

Your family did it right. The hospital I work for has a clientele that is fairly… uhm, low brow/ghetto, to put it nicely. Many of these, uhm FINE people treat the hospital like a hotel.

I get family all the time expecting free meals, free drinks, free places to sleep.. Sometimes they even want to share bed with the patient!. It’s a hospital not a shelter! I want to tell them all to go the hell home.

jca's avatar

I guess it would depend on the child and what his condition is. Some teens are more mature than others.

Also, it’s probably a conversation that’s been had between parents and the teen, and perhaps the teen stated he’s more comfortable with the parents present.

Regardless, it’s not for anybody else to judge except the teen and his parents.

YARNLADY's avatar

@jca Good point. I’m sure they did. Also, he is the baby, with two adult siblings.

Kardamom's avatar

No, I don’t’ think so. When my Dad and my brother (separately) were in the hospital with heart issues, we were there every minute of every day, during, and sometimes even after, visiting hours. Dad is in his 80’s, brother is in his 50’s.

fightfightfight's avatar

Nope, it’s their own kid.

fluthernutter's avatar

Not at all. To be honest, your question makes me a little sad.

mattbrowne's avatar

A bit, but clarification is possible by simply asking: Would you like some time alone?

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