Christians: Please explain what this website is saying (see inside)?

All I saw on the link above was an application to join the site. There was one comment that LDD is not Christian DD, but all the comments I saw had nothing to do with anything.

From their FAQ “How do I relinquish control/be more “submissive” to my HoH”

Seems to me they’ve got it backasswards. I make damn sure my HoH is submissive to me… not the other way around.

Brings a new meaning to their Boot Camp section. A couple of good kicks with the right boot, and my Hoh don’t give no lip.

Seems like they never went past the “reward and punishment” phase of their childhood.
They are little children in adult bodies.

What? Sad to see people destroy their lives and humanity for false ethic believes…

These are the same type of “Christians” that force their daughters to have a ceremony with their dad…they wear a “purity” ring vowing they will remain pure until marriage.

I find all of it sick & twisted.

@tinyfaery I may have missed something but how do we know they’re Christians?

Some people believe they are Christian because they sit in a church on Sundays and manage to crack a Bible open, but they have no Christ in them. Given them the benefit of doubt I believe what they call Domestic Discipline centers more on the line of having their household run as close to the Biblical criteria as they can, with defined roles and obligations for the man and his wife. Something those who don’t practice the Way, or are seeking it would completely understand.

I don’t see any specific reference to Christianity, but reading the site makes me take that educated guess.

Thanks @tinyfaery. I just wasn’t sure. I was just getting a BDSM type thing but then they do talk about the spanking being for discipline rather than being specifically sexual. Who knows. I can’t see this working in my house!

@Bellatrix Just last week on The View the ladies were discussing this latest “Christian” marriage practice of DD, Domestic Discipline. DD is the practice of “wives submitting to their husbands” in a paddling way….but not a sexual paddling.

As it is, I do not condone hitting. I personally thinks this further blurs the line for women that have already been subjected to controlling, abusive fathers to marry controlling, abusive husbands to raise their kids in an environment of control & abuse.

Further, as a Christian, I think it’s particularly sick & twisted to tie Christ’s name to this practice in any way.

Thanks, the contextual info helps @SpatzieLover and I agree with your concerns. They seemed to be being careful not to say ‘the husband’ does the spanking. They talk of HoH instead but I agree with your suggestions.

This is sooo disgraceful. Zero tolerance for this “submisssive” garbage.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies
“A couple of good kicks with the right boot, and my Hoh don’t give no lip.” That is terrible. No one should be submissive to anyone, and no violence please.

@tinyfaery So you’re filtering it through your biases. Got it. I thought you were of the sort who didn’t care what two consenting adults do. Nice to see you being tolerant of peoples’ lifestyle choices.~
This doesn’t look or read like any kind of Christian site I’ve ever seen; those will name-drop and quote Scripture in key places – there’s a bit in Ephesians that this outfit would be posting on every other page, if they were trying for a Christian/religious program.

Here’s the bullet points of Domestic Discipline as I’ve heard it’s practiced. (Yes, this is a “Christian” site).

@Nullo no self respecting person who respects others would want to make another submit to him/her, esp. involving physical abuse. Emotional abuse is emotional abuse whatever name it hides behind.
“What two consenting adults do….” The one who is “consenting” is brainwashed. There is nothing “lifestyle” about being decision based on fear.

@flo @Nullo no self respecting person who respects others would want to make another submit to him/her, Everyone submits to someone if they know it or not, or like it or not. If you had people working under you at your job, they have assignments to do that keep the business running. Do you want to have to stand over them and threaten them to get them to do their part or would it work better for you and them, if they just submitted, recognize you as the boss, (at least of that section, team, division, etc.), and do what they are suppose to do? Why would a household not benefit from that, having a clear pecking order? Other than that you will have chaos or an ineffective, wishy-washy household where the simplest chores could bog down.

The site to me seems to have as much to do with christianity as scientology. :/

@Hypocrisy_Central
” @flo and @Nullo” are on opposite sides here, so I don’t know why you are addressing us together. Sheeesh. You and @Nullo sound like you’re on the same page though.

Key word here is “Abuse”.

@Hypocrisy_Central You’ve never had a respectful boss who was also competent? You can’t run be businessman who treats his employees respectfully?

@flo You can’t run be businessman who treats his employees respectfully?
I am not following you, “You can’t run be…” that is to say what?

@Hypocrisy_Central how funny The statement/question before makes the same point.

This is abuse and they justify it by saying God says it’s ok.

I’m an atheist. If I believed in God, I’d think he was a dick.

I think this has nothing to do with Christians. Has more to do with people who like a little kink in their relationship and probably some control freak husbands.
I always figured, if God wanted women to be so submissive to their husbands than he wouldn’t have given women brains that can rival men or even surpass their knowledge. So that means he meant women to partner men, not be less valuable as human beings.

Ok. I scanned the website and I don’t fully get it but I can try to tell you my take (as a Christian) about what’s going on.
I’ll start by telling you a little bit about how I ended up involved in the fundamentalist movement. My life was out of control. I was a young 23 year old with three kids and a voltage husband. Everything was chaos. The house was a mess, my kids were barefoot and we could barely afford diapers much less food. I didn’t know how to get my life together and was searching for answers.
The fundamentalist lifestyle gave me boundaries that I lacked and rules to keep things in order. At the time it was exactly what I needed. It brought order to the chaos.
As I matured, I no longer needed such strict boundaries. I didn’t need someone to tell me what my roles were and what my husbands were because we learned to communicate and share responsibility. I also no longer needed to keep God in a tidy narrow box. I became able to experience him in places outside of church and the funny thing is that I experience him probably most in my intact ions with my atheist friends.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that for some, there is a need for this kind of lifestyle. When Jesus referred to his followers and sheep it wasn’t because they were cute and cuddly. It was because they were not always really smart and they needed a good shepherd to guide them.
I went through a phase where I wa real angry with fundamentalists. I’m coming to the conclusion that everyone is at their own place on their own journey and it is not my place to judge.
Edit: crap, I just read the other posts. I never saw the part about spanking. That’s just plane odd and abusive.
Edit 2: oh my goodness! After reading the link provided above, you would wonder whey these people are so against Sharia Law since they seem to promote the same stuff!

That’s cute how they try to obfuscate the glaring sexism/patriarchy by calling men “HoH” (head of household) rather than “the husband/man”.

“When the HoH makes a decision, it needs to be accepted” etc etc. Sounds less shitty than “When the man makes a decision”.

I’m still not 100% convinced it’s not a fetish site… >.>

Sounded quite ‘fetishy’ to me too @DominicX. Fetish masquerading as… I don’t know what. If people want to spank each other to get off, I’m fine with that but this sounds far more controlling though. The control part disturbs me. If my husband ever thinks this a good idea he’d better make sure he’s wearing his running shoes before he picks up that paddle.

I think that @DominicX makes a very interesting observation. The practices and principles described on that site are practically identical to the exact same type of relationships which can be found in SOME parts of the LGBTQ community.

If I remember correctly, you live iin San Francisco. I find it difficult to imagine that you are totally unaware of the Leather community, a significant percentage of which have the exact same practices between consenting adults. (It sure isn’t JUST that they fetishize dressing in leather. Many of them are in ongoing consensual BDSM relationships.) Is that abuse in your eyes?

We’re you totally unaware of this? And in addition to spanking skills, there are many who go a few steps farther with whips, floggers, ropes, bondage hoods etc. And many of them can back up their boasts about skill with those whips and flogging accoutrements by solid knowledge on how to use them Upon their submissives without causing permanent damage.

Does your head also burst when you see the leather community section in every year’s Pride Parade with some of the Masters leading their handcuffed slaves down the street? (They prefer that terminology rather than the archaic HOH) Is that abuse or mutually consensual role play?

Does your head also explode at the thought that there are also lesbians who find satisfaction with each other in BDSM relationships? They don’t advertise it as openly as most of the guys since it is a bit frowned upon by other lesbians as not being PC enough for empowered women to be participants in, but they definitely exist. And they exist because both people want it to be that way. They find enjoyment in eroticizing power play. If the submissive didn’t want it, they would simply walk away.

You’ve expressed before that you just want people to stop judging you for being a member of the LGBTQ community who has a wife of the same sex rather than a husband. But do you judge other members of that very same group who participate in Dominant/submissive relationships with the exact same practices (and a whole lot more) as contained in that website?

If not, good for you. ( If so, you might want to rethink that a bit since I’m sure that they feel the exact same way you do about being judged for their lifestyle choices.)

But I’m going to go on the assumption that you DO NOT sit in judgement upon the other gay folks who simply have a different expression of their relationships than the rest of the LGBTQ community.

So, I just have one more quick question. Do people who practice some form or another of a Dominant/submissive relationship structure get a pass ONLY IF they’re gay? That doesn’t burst your head because they’re part of the same community as yourself?

But anybody belonging to a different group (Christians, for instance) makes your brain explode? What about Republicans :)

Interesting.

So, apparently, according to you, only gay people can enjoy their sexual relationships with a side order of kinkiness? Others run the risk of bursting your head? Have I got the picture right? Please do enlighten me :)

@flo And now you’re assuming to know how everybody thinks. I’ve been on the Internet long enough to know that some people are into weird stuff – I’d bet good money that a fair portion (possibly all the way up to “most”) of the people involved with this are doing so willingly.
Since you also assume to know how I think, I’ll gladly inform you that I don’t like the idea of adults treating other adults like children. This sort of thing is not an example of Biblical submission, whatever else it is.

@tinyfaery It’s non-feminist and kinda weird, but I’m not convinced that the relationship described on your site is abusive. I’d have to know the people in question before I could make that kind of judgment.

I don’t think it is a fetish. I once had a black Christian man from Mississippi tell me he left the church that used to tell men to hit their wives to control them. He is still a Christian, just went to a different church. Many Christian churches still fully support hitting your kids, and a few seem to hold onto hitting your wife, but I think that is rare. You can control women without hitting (ugh, can you believe I said that?). But, more than that I think most Christians aren’t really looking for that set up where the man control everything. It doesn’t work well in America when women have so much access to education and interacting with people who think differently.

FYI, I hate auto correct. I think I would rather have the misspelling than have auto correct completely change my words.

I’m a Christian, and I would not promote this Domestic Discipline site as a “Christian” site, because it does not promote Christian values. It does promote controlling behavior, abuse, and a lot of other nonsense.

I do not live in SF. Consensual BDSM is not my concern. This makes me think of Stockholm syndrome. What adult would allow someone to spank them as a punishment?

I really don’t think sexual gratification is the cause.

Related Article

^^WTF? Why?????

@tinyfaery I think this practice has more to do with brain washing and severely limiting a daughter/wife’s social circle, than it does with Christianity.

From that article @Cupcake linked above:

(A “Christian wife says) she acknowledges that her partner is “not perfect, but it’s not my role to point that out. He self corrects… He enjoys seeing the person he owns, his property, become the thing God wants her to be. It might sound weird, but that works for me.”

So he, a male can “self-correct”, but she, the female has to be taught to submit?!

My opinion is she’s never lived in the real world. She’s lived in a world of father “approved” friends, strict curfews, no choice in clothing. And then she grew into a woman that only knows how to be told what to do. That’s her “role”...obey.

Eek.

That site is BDSM site and the roles of submissives.

@Buttonstc There is a big difference between BDSM (which is not a gay-only practice, for your information) and CCD. BDSM is consensual roleplay which does not assume the natural superiority of one sex over the other. Men and women can both play either the dominant or submissive role, and anyone can take a time out from their role at any time. CCD, on the other hand, is supposed to be a permanent and non-sexual reflection of the natural order of things. The man (head of household) is in charge because God says so, and there’s no time outs for the women if they don’t want to play along.

If this were just a way of sneaking BDSM into the Christian community, I would be totally okay with it. But healthy BDSM (which is very different from what gets shown in shitty novels like Fifty Shades of Grey) includes a lot of out of character communication and an underlying assumption that the people involved are all equals even if their characters pretend differently. None of that is covered on the website, so it can’t be a BDSM site. Whatever misconceptions you might have gotten from watching Pride parades and thinking you could divine someone’s entire life from what they chose to wear to one event on one day, BDSM and CCD are not the same.

This is just BDSM with a Christian spin. I’m not surprised to hear that there is such a community; @Cupcake‘s article indicates that it’s a “growing trend”, but I doubt it’s a larger segment of the Christian population than it is in the rest of North America.

It would be easy to pull out bible verses to justify this kind of behaviour in the Christian context – as easy as it is to pull out bible verses to justify any other kind of behaviour. Is it representative of Christianity as a whole? Obviously not.

@Uberwench I’m not a part of any of these communities, and I recognize that you may have experience that guides your answer, but from what I’ve read, there is not necessarily a difference between BDSM and what they describe as CDD in the article (it’s unclear to me whether you are referring to CDD when you say CCD).

I will have all of you know that CCD is, in fact, the same as BDSM.

For the mind of a child, that is.

@serenade

BDSM

CCD

They are not the same. Explain please?

A parents job is to teach a child, sometimes that includes religion and faith. I suppose I can see where you are coming from if you are meaning that the child has contested and the parents didn’t listen or talk about it with the child and instead spank the child all the way to CCD and that to me would be wrong anyway.

If my child contested to going somewhere that I thought was important I would explain I didn’t think it was a good idea not to go, and I would give my reasons. If that did not change my child ideas then that is my child’s choice. Unfortunately, many people don’t like to let kids have to many choices about their lives.

I give my time to God, my own daughter doesn’t give any time of the day to Him. I never push her into it and I don’t think that is fair to do to anyone or anything I don’t care if that sounds stupid. Everyone should get a choice, for me its about equality, I wish everyone felt like me. :)

@glacial Yeah, typo. I lost my entire response and then rewrote it in a hurry before I forgot what I had said and had to start all over. It should read CDD throughout. There are legitimate Christian BDSM groups, though they have been moving more and more underground over the years. Those groups embraced the BDSM ethic, which requires more than merely formal consent and includes halting conditions (like safe words or other signals).

CDD is supposed to be non-sexual. The website makes this clear, especially in the FAQ. It’s also non-consensual, or at least only formally consensual. The husband is supposed to do this as part of his duty as a man, not because he and his wife have both decided it would be fun. The idea is that women need punishment. I’m not saying it didn’t start as some kinky guy’s way of tricking his wife into bending over for him, but the ideology of the site isn’t BDSM for Christians. It’s literal submission.

@nofurbelowsbatgirl, yes, please allow me to explain. @Uberwench knowingly or unknowingly typed “CCD” instead of “CDD” while attempting to compare the phenomena in question to BDSM. This was a typographical error that coincidentally could be construed to reference CCD, which for Catholics (such as myself once upon a time) is a second-nature reference for Confraternity of Catholic Christian Doctrine (as you have been so kind to illustrate for the uninitiated who may have not thought to click on the link I provided) or Catechism or Sunday School.

The mistaken typing of CCD for CDD and the further mistaken comparison to BDSM creates an opportunity to conflate CCD and BDSM. By drawing attention to both the mistake and the conflation of the two concepts, one can take a moment to enjoy a phenomenon similar to a pun, which is commonly defined as “a play on words.” (I would say this is more a play on acronyms.) The mistaken comparison also affords the opportunity to conjure up images of bad Sunday School experiences, which, while not inevitable, are familiar at least as a concept to most people who have a modern experience of western civilization. Comparing CCD to BDSM is physically absurd but perhaps emotionally telling for a segment of the population who experienced Sunday School as well as those who can imagine what that iconic experience may have been like vis a vis the experience or stories of family members or friends.

The sum of these elements: mistake, conflation, absurdity, common experience, and the effort to make light of the moment that all of these things come together is sometimes quite funny and is generally referred to as humor. An instance of humor is often referred to as a joke. So the end point of my explanation that you have requested is to explain to you that my comment was a joke.

Since you responded with neither laughter, nor recognition followed by derision, but instead by pointing out that I am gravely mistaken in my comparison and asking me to explain my logic, it means that you did not get the joke. For that I am sorry.

@serenade OK. Sorry, but from your essay answer I still don’t get the whole point of your joke.

So is this a wishy washy attempt at making @Uberwench look like an
ass for making a mistake to those of us who actually “got it”.

OR

Are you making an ass of @Uberwench while at the same time use of some attempt to ridicule catholicism for child abuse?

Btw, I gave the link to CCD along with BDSM not because I didn’t click on your link, but because I was making a statement that they both have different meanings.

[mod says] This is straying pretty far from the topic, folks. Let’s get back on track. Thanks!

How do I know if this is one person and not a couple anyway?