What is the backstory here? (Details inside)

I love how beautifully you’ve described her. Given her young age, my guess is a relationship issue with her SO. Since her tears seemed more the result of rumination (faraway look in her eyes) rather than a recent battle, my guess is that they broke up (or had a painful argument) a few days ago. She can’t forget it and she can’t fix it. And she’s on her way to work.

Were she older, I’d actually go down the path of trouble with a teenaged child. I had many tearful mornings back in the day.

Perhaps painful rejection of some sort or even a serious health issue of a beloved person.

Could be anything upsetting. Sounds like she was handeling it ok, just overwhelmed at that moment by sad feelings.

I was going to offer the explanation of a troubled relationship or a break-up like @picante mentioned. There could also be the possibility of a problem or emergency in her own immediate family that has taken a heavy toll on her emotions. Dressed well and made up as nicely as she was, maybe it is possible that she was on her way to a funeral or some other significant but difficult event.

There could be many scenarios that might explain her behavior and state of mind at the time she saw you. Whatever the situation is, even though she is a complete stranger to me, I wish her well and hope that everything will be okay and will work out for her in the end.

I’m just going to take a wild guess and say that the early morning time and the fact that she was dressed as you suggested, that possibly her tears may just be stress related.

That lost look is a look I’ve seen before, it’s the look of “I need food but I need gas in my car, I’m in desperate spot, I NEEDED THAT JOB, how am gonna pay my rent, where am I going to get my money from,”.

And it’s the disconnect sometimes some certain types of people want to do.

It could be relationship related but it seems odd at that time of the morning to me.

I also think the smile could of been mistaken for a friendly gesture. Maybe you could of asked her if she was alright because maybe her smiling through the tears was more like an invitation for support?

She could have had an illness or death in her family or among her friends.

She could have just broken up with someone or been in a bad relationship.

It could have been anything.

It instinctively sounds to me like her tears were genuine, and with our modern ability to share toots and tweets and twits, her anxiety may have resulted from just about anything.

This young woman was probably not trying what I call “The Crying Scam”, but twice while in New York City recently, I witnessed the following:

In November, sitting on a brick wall by the entrance to our hotel was a guy in his 30s, crying his eyes out. He really seemed to be in pain, and the crying looked and sounded authentic. Of course, it being New York, my instincts told me to just walk on by, and I did.

In January, my wife and I were on the subway platform waiting for a train. Across the tracks on the opposite platform was a guy sitting on a bench, crying his eyes out, and moaning quite authentically, I thought. This only reinforced my suspicion of one more scam approach, used by VERY good actors.

Again, the woman at the gas pumps was probably in sincere distress. But if you someday encounter a grown man crying in public, please remember what I said today…

Thanks for the evocative description. That was very well written.
My first thought on reading it was that she is having relationship trouble and was on the way to work. It’s strange, but sometimes I find that it is easier to let the tears flow in public when I am upset over something, than when I am by myself.

@OneBadApple And what is the point of “The Crying Scam” ?

That was me the other day as I was pumping gas. Life is full of sadness and disappointments. It can bring tears to your eyes at any moment.

Impossible to say, maybe relationship issues, maybe a death in the family, maybe her hamster flew off his wheel. Maybe she was just PMS’d out of her mind and broke a nail. haha
I burst into tears every day I drove down my little road when I was in process of letting go of my home/property last spring. Life slam dunks us sometimes but guessing is a waste of time, you cannot possibly know without directly ASKING someone ” why are you crying?”

@uberbatman You are apparently expected to approach the ‘cryer’ to help or comfort them. Only then does the scam part begin.

I thought that was pretty obvious…

@OneBadApple Ya I get that but scam how? Ask for money, what? I just don’t see why I’d be inclined to give money to someone who was crying or whatever.

I do think it’s pretty rude to just assume anyone who is upset is trying to scam you. I’ve told the story a few times here before but a few years ago on NYE in Philly my fiance and I came across a guy who was crying. Turned out to be suicidal and wanting to jump in front of a train. Everyone else was outright ignoring him except for us who stopped. What would have happened if we too just assumed it must be a scam and kept walking….

There are so many possibilities: bad news; sick child; fight with SO; dying relative; financial problems; canceled plans; eviction; lost opportunity; pet dying; etc.

Onions?

She was a prostitute desperate for business, and she was trying to attract attention (and a customer) by playing the “pity me” game.

I’m going with the loss of a family member. That’s the only time I remember crying in the car uncaring of looks I received.

@uberbatman Hey, nobody is more helpful to people in real distress than I am, and congratulations for helping someone in legitimate distress. Unfortunately there are a LOT of people out there (especially in big cities) who are counting on someone with a helpful nature (like you) to take the bait.

I’ll venture a guess that at least 8 out of 10 grown men crying in public (especially in a large city) are just trying to set up good-hearted people for the kill.

A vast majority of the time, ignoring that is not “pretty rude”.....it is pretty smart.

You did great in Philly, and got lucky…...that time…

A friend of mine who lost her 3 year old daughter describes having moments like these at least once a week. She just randomly bursts into tears and doesn’t bother hiding it.

I cry in public all the time, I do hope that someone describes me so charmingly as you have described her!

My initial thought was she realized as she got up for work that her husband/boyfriend/lover was not there, and had not made it home, and she realized her relationship was over.

Or, she is an alcoholic who woke up and realized she had gotten drunk again the night before and that she has no control over her drinking.

I’m intrigued that we’re all projecting our worst nightmares onto her.

They may have been sweet, sweet tears of joy on receiving the news she’d just won a speedboat in a local raffle, together with a family sized camping tent.

The reason for my crying was due to an illness in the family. The tears are uncontrollable right now. They come out of nowhere.

@OneBadApple Again I ask though, what are you implying would have happened if I weren’t so lucky?

If this was during the week, I’d say she was on her way to work. She’s probably a secretary or front desk girl for a rather up-scaled place. The reason for crying so early in the morning could be numerous things. She could have been drinking the night before and ended up making a mistake that will destroy a possible relationship does or could possibly have. She could be Bi-polar and not having her morning breakfast could really be taking it’s toll. She maybe a master of emotion for the day if she just gets all the sadness out first thing in the morning. What I’m going to go with though, is that something drastic is changing in her life that came to her attention last night, before she slept & it was just then hitting her as she was doing her morning mundane activities before work.

Too often people don’t think to heavily on things until out of nowhere BAM like a truck, we’re struck with this overwhelming feeling of, “Fuck. This is really happening, isn’t it?” & we can’t control it, so crying ensues & it makes us feel better for that moment, until we’re hit by that truck again later.

She cried because she was in pain. The reason doesn’t really matter.

Worst erotica ever.

@uberbatman I don’t know if you are just trying to bait me for the fuck of it or what, but you must be aware that scheming scumbags on the streets of big cities, besides just “trying you out” for money have also mugged, beaten and sometimes killed people who have been trusting enough to make an attempt to help. It happens every day, but I think you already know this.

Your Philly incident turned out to be very fortunate for the guy you helped, and also for you and your fiance’ because this episode was authentic.

The old cliche’ is….“People in New York City will step over you if you are dying in the street !”

Not exactly. People in NYC will step over you if they think you might be FAKING dying in the street…..which happens WAY more often than any actual dying….

@uberbatman Here is one story about a crying girl con artist.

@OneBadApple I honestly wasn’t trying to bait you. Maybe I’m just being really naive I just don’t see how it can escalate to all those other things if this is all occurring in a very public place such as on a train. I can see them conning you for money sure but the rest, not really. But again maybe I’m just naive because I’m a nice person and try to see the same in others.

@harangutan Yea.. that makes sense, faking shit for money but I can’t say I’d personally ever give someone money, especially a stranger.

On a similar topic to being con-ed @uberbatman, I work at a bar in downtown (4th ave) Anchorage & I’ve seen some the craziest shit happen just on my street, not to mention downtown as a whole. Most recent was a fellow industry person who frequents my bar was scammed as so: He had just got off of work & was heading to the bar when he was approached by a man and a woman. The man asked if he had a dollar he could spare. Reaching generously to his wallet to spare with a dollar as soon as he opened his wallet the woman pepper sprayed him while the man stole about $60 from reaching into his wallet while he was distressed from the spray.

I have since stopped giving anything away downtown.

@Axemusica I lose more and more faith in humanity every day… then again as I said, I don’t give money to anyone, especially strangers.

Not sure, but I see the beginnings of a great novel…

The times I’ve cried (*quietly) in public have been caused by frantic money worries or an argument on the phone. I hope people look upon me as sympathetically as you did with this woman.

* When my grandmother died unexpectedly, I sobbed loudly in public. Whole different thing.

@uberbatman As I mentioned, a lot of these ‘crafty’ types on the street are waiting for (or, make that COUNTING on) “nice people” like you to walk by.

Don’t get me wrong, this sometimes ugly world needs as many people like you as it can get. All I’m saying is, proceed a little slowly when attempting to help someone in “distress”, especially in the larger cities. You owe that to yourself and to the people you love….

I’ve cried a lot in public. But I’m bipolar. I have also had a lot of other eccentric emotions in public.

Sometimes my illness can make me think I’m something I’m not.

I would think if I see a grown man or even a grown woman crying their eyes out on the side of the street I would think to call a mental heath unit.

In my town we have a mobile on call mental health crisis team.

The person could probably need that type of intervention and then the trained professionals can figure out if it is genuine or not.

All my guesses have been taken!

I don’t know why, but it reminds me of the time I was renting a town home in a gated community in Florida. I was returning from an errand before my wife and I set out for work. As I got out of the car, I was approached by a young woman, dressed only in a sexy negligee. as she approached, she said, “Sir! Sir! How do I get out of this parking lot?”