Is flakiness becoming more common?
Asked by
Gabby101 (
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August 21st, 2013
Is it becoming more socially acceptable to cancel plans at the last minute or is it just my friends? I’ve also heard people explain that this is a west coast/California/San Francisco thing. What do you think?
Today, one of my friends scheduled lunch for about seven of us and two hours before, someone cancelled and then two others followed – only one even bothered to apologize. The excuses were on the thin side and I was surprised that everyone was so casual about cancelling at the last minute, especially when one of the flakers was the one who suggested the lunch in the first place. In the end, everyone bailed except two people.
I go out of my way to meet my commitments even when it’s not convenient for me. Should I lower my expectations or have I just been having a run of bad luck (three last minute cancels in 5 days!)?
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10 Answers
I wouldn’t call it flakiness exactly but I do think people are more casual about plans. I blame cellphones.
@janbb – You blame cell phone because you can communicate your change of plans at anytime?
@Gabby101 Yes – I noticed it initially with my son’s social life as a teen. Plans didn’t get nailed down and he was often left in the lurch.
I don’t know if it’s more common but I hate that shit. It’s not just a West Coast thing. I have this new theory: people are ‘friends’ with people even if they aren’t actually friends with them – like they can make plans for years and never meet up but feel vindicated because they ‘tried’ or something. Ugh.
I can remember as a kid sitting by the phone waiting for “friends” to call to say they were on their way out the door, cause I went to school in the country but lived in the city so they took twenty plus minutes longer to get everywhere. Anyway, I got a lot of calls last minute saying they decided to do something else instead.
So for me nothing has changed with the cell phone, my friends are no more flaky now than they ever were, but I do get impatient about it faster due to being spoiled by having everything instant.
Too many people expect casual acquaintances to act like actual friends.
I don’t think we should limit common courtesy to BFF’s. I believe that if you accept or extend an invitation, you should try to keep your commitment. Your relationship might be casual, but your ethics shouldn’t be.
This has been a problem for years, people have complained to Dear Abby about this since the 1960’s.
It happens all over the world not just in a certain area. I think people are just so tired from the demands of life that they bail out of any obligations in they can.
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