What alternative name(s) do you give your remote controls?

Not getting any indication this has been asked before, although I suspect it might have been, we carry on regardless.
Apparently us Brits have around fifty nicknames for our remotes, ranging from zapper, thingie & doo-dah
Personally I call ours the doofer or the mote
I only want the “alternative” people to answer, the rest of you can turn the channel to another question =0}