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ETpro's avatar

[NSFW] You have one wish, but it must be for something sexual. What do you ask for?

Asked by ETpro (34568points) October 4th, 2013

You find this strange old oil lamp in a thrift store. It looks like it is made of brass or bronze, but it’s developed a patina with age. They only want $1 for the corroded looking thing, so you buy it and take it home. You get some Brasso and a cloth, turn on your favorite mindless entertainment on TV, and sit down to polish the lamp and see what you’ve got. But as soon as you begin rubbing the body of it, a strange greenish mist pours out of its spout and organizes itself right before your eyes into a semi-translucent form that is unmistakably a Genie.

The Genie bows and explains that it’s great to be out after over a century cooped up in the tiny lamp. Since you are the fortunate soul who released the Genie from the lamp’s confines, you get one wish. “However,” the Genie goes on to explain, “I am the Genie of Eros. I only have power to grant sexual wishes. Now, what is the one erotic wish you would have me grant you?”

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51 Answers

ucme's avatar

Kelly Brook bouncing on my throbbing member would be nice.

ragingloli's avatar

I want to have my own violating tentacle monster.
@ucme You only get one wish.

ucme's avatar

That was one wish, she truly serves no other purpose in life.

oneSasyRN's avatar

To have my own fully furnished dungeon full of toys, tricks, devices and of coarse insulated walls ;)

ragingloli's avatar

@ucme
right over your head.

downtide's avatar

A fully functioning penis, 5.5” long (I’m not greedy) and fully functioning balls, all permanently and seamlessly attached in the correct place.

ucme's avatar

@Germanic Kuntwagen No, I chose to ignore your boring, predictable crap…see?

ETpro's avatar

More later but for right now, a Big Hearty welcome to Fluther to @oneSasyRN!

Eggie's avatar

So that when I say a special word any and I mean any girl would have sex with me..guaranteed.

Pachy's avatar

To re-experience several particular encounters in the ‘80s.

Kardamom's avatar

A poster of Martin Clunes (aka Doc Martin) I’m easy to please and not greedy.

gorillapaws's avatar

That my cum would taste like ambrosia, and my girlfriend could never get enough of it.

Seek's avatar

Worldwide eradication of sexually transmitted diseases, illnesses, and infections.

rojo's avatar

The ability to maintain a erection for four hours without having to worry about needing to call a doctor.

although from This question it appears that I would be wasting about 3 hrs and 40 minutes of it

antimatter's avatar

I’ll go with @downtide.
Would love to have a certain way to get any lady wanting to have sex with me by simply just staring at her.

gorillapaws's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Way to make me feel like a selfish jackass!

yankeetooter's avatar

Hmm…I have a quite unique answer, but am too shy to share it…

Sunny2's avatar

^^^Don’t be shy. Otherwise, why whet our appetites?

hearkat's avatar

Since my first response to eliminate disease is taken, I think I’d like to be able to morph into any body form to experience sex as a different genders and with partners who would have no interest in my true form.

serenade's avatar

To have sex with all the girls from high school who I did not have sex with, which is to say all of them.

AshLeigh's avatar

To have a penis for a day.

anniereborn's avatar

To have sex with the woman of my choosing.

mrentropy's avatar

For a woman to want to have sex with me.

DWW25921's avatar

Gaming nerds are hot. Yeah, I’d want a chick that knows how to level up and work her magic in battle. She’d have to be a pretty high level and have awesome armor. That would be awesome. She should be able to master quests… I’d be so on than… Yeah… excuse me I’ve got to take care of something…

wildpotato's avatar

Unselfish wish: no more genital mutilation or non-consensual modification for non-medically necessary reasons.

Selfish wish: more courage to explore; fewer hangups.

yankeetooter's avatar

@Sunny2…I was trying to work up my courage, but I haven’t yet.

ETpro's avatar

@ucme Not very creative, but if she showed up in a wet dream, I sure wouldn’t object.

@ragingloli Sorry, darling. A Genie I am not. But I can grant you this. Very NSFW but STD free so long as you dismiss the popup window that opens by clicking the X in the upper right. Click into stuff in that popup, and your computer better be wearing protection.

@downtide Now I wish I were a genie. But fear not. Between stem cell research and growing understanding of embryonic or pluripotent stem cells and the viral vectors that can be introduced to control what they turn into, your urologist may soon become a functioning genie. Me, I’m just hoping for a fix for a leaky aortic valve, but age reversal would be nice, and I’d definitely apply the benefits of that to erotic pursuits.

@Eggie I guess that is just one wish and it gets you the mother load of pussy. Well done.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Gotta pick just one. I know. Decisions, decisions…

@Kardamom I’m disappointed. You could have that without a fucking genie!

@gorillapaws Ohh! That’s a damn creative wish. That’s on a par with @Eggie.‘s I’ve wished mine was an intoxicating, inhibition killing aphrodisiac. Then wherever I deposited it, it would have its effect. But I don’t want that unless I have an antidote. When I am ready to die, an OD on sex would be a fine way to go. But I’m not completely ready to die just yet.

@Seek_Kolinahr Wow! An altruistic wish that, if granted, rebounds to your distinct benefit. VERY creative.

@rojo IMHO, it depends on the situation and the creativity of the one wielding the instrument of penetration. Regarding the link where you got taken to task, back when I was trying to sort out my own sexual identity, I once got sodomized for well over an hour. The guy had been taking black beauties, a kind of speed. It makes males very horny, but unable to orgasm. I was in 7th heaven till he started blaming me for his inability to get off. The session was over right there.

@antimatter Are you sure it was @downtide that wished for that?

@yankeetooter After all the admissions here, my own included, if you can’t screw up the courage to tell all; I’m going to have some not-so-choice words for you. :-)

@hearkat That would be soooo cool.

@serenade Just Sandra Bullock from my high school days would do it for me. The way she looked back then, of course. :-)

@AshLeigh Aww… You’re welcome to borrow mine if you can figure out how to hook it up and work it.

@anniereborn That’s probably within your reach without a magic genie, you know.

@mrentropy That’s probably within your reach without a magic genie, you know.

@DWW25921 That’s probably within your reach without a magic genie, you know.

@wildpotato For that first unselfish wish, any genie with a nod of decency would grant you one more all for yourself.

anniereborn's avatar

@ETpro of my choosing? Not likely

ETpro's avatar

@anniereborn Well then I hope you find that magic lamp. Rub it well.

AshLeigh's avatar

HAHA! No thank you!

Berserker's avatar

Nothing too exciting, but if they ever make a sequel to Psycho Gothic Lolita, I want to be someone in there who gets killed.

ucme's avatar

@ETpro No need for creativity, an easy decision, simply put.

yankeetooter's avatar

@ETpro…just a bit of a fetish that I am shy about sharing…

mrentropy's avatar

@ETpro I should have refined that a little bit to “For a woman who I find desirable to want to have sex with me.” Otherwise, I’m stuck with:

1) Legitimately insane women
2) Women who really like me, but are in a relationship they wouldn’t end
3) Old and senile women

People try and tell me that I’m wrong (especially type 2s), but then they hang around me for a while and then see what I’m talking about. For the vast majority of women, I don’t even exist. Not even when I’m standing in front of them. I am just… nobody.

However, if there’s someone who suffers from depression, is bi-polar, is BPD, is a drug user, or an alcoholic then they’re all over me because they can spot a sucker from a mile away.

anniereborn's avatar

@mrentropy I’m Bipolar. I spotted you right away :P

mrentropy's avatar

@anniereborn I’m talking untreated and at least three out of the four.

drhat77's avatar

A star trek holodeck. I’m pretty sure that counts.

Seek's avatar

@drhat77 I’ll allow it, but only if I get to beta test.

Seek's avatar

@ETpro exactly. Open marriage granted, no annoying condoms necessary.

ETpro's avatar

@Symbeline That should be child’s play for a genie.

@yankeetooter Suit yourself. I’d just caution that if this is something you honestly want to experience while life permits, keeping it entirely to yourself substantially diminishes the likelihood of that ever happening.

@mrentropy No wonder I took to you immediately. I’m all of those. But gotta run. It’s time for another fix.

@drhat77 Great use of one wish.

@Seek_Kolinahr I second that idea.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

To have an orgasm whenever someone says “Pancakes”.

oneSasyRN's avatar

Pancakes :)

Coloma's avatar

The night I seduced an old flame about 9 years ago, wearing a slinky white satin little short number, and brazenly walked across my living room, opposite of where he was sitting, looking very unsure of himself, and sat down on a cool little upholstered bench I had, laid back and let my legs fall apart. Hah!

The finest seduction of my life as I am not the type of female to play into coy and coquettish seduction games. It just unfolded in the moment, very naturally, and was a stellar moment.
The look on his face was priceless and I felt quite powerful and incredibly sexy.
I liken it to a dog that was just patiently waiting for the ” okay” to dive on a T-bone steak across the room. lol

ETpro's avatar

@Sueanne_Tremendous Too much out of my control. To be able to orgasm by eating pancakes would work for me.

@oneSasyRN Ha!

@Coloma Sounds hot.

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

@oneSasyRN : Thanks Ms RN….I really needed that! I am trying to find the original Pancake thread from a couple of years ago.

ETpro's avatar

@Sueanne_Tremendous I sure hope somebody posted a recipe.

Lorna's avatar

I would love to be tied to the bed for 24 hours and have him to with me as he pleases, in any way he pleases. He won’t though, i have begged for it a few times now. He said he hasn’t the stamina for 24 hours!

ETpro's avatar

@LornaIove Danm reality.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

100% effective birth control.

ETpro's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1 Since we’re operating in wish land, why not wish it is totally imperceptible and 100% effective in preventing all STD transfer—or hell, why not have a single use CURE any STD/s 1 or both parties might have? :-)

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