General Question

Aethelwine's avatar

Would you stay silent when a friend of yours is falsely accused of something?

Asked by Aethelwine (42961points) November 7th, 2013

I’m just wondering if you would defend your friend if you felt they were being unfairly attacked. Could you stay silent?

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36 Answers

Mama_Cakes's avatar

I’d speak up.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

My mouth usually gets ahead of my brain, especially once my temper kicks in. So yeah, I’d speak up.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Too little detail, too theoretical.

These sort of issues are so situation-based. Depends on how close a friend, depends on what the issue is, depends on about 10 other factors.

glacial's avatar

The question says that the friend was falsely accused. The details say that you “felt” the friend was falsely accused. How vehemently I would defend my friend depends entirely on the distance between these two descriptions. Is there any chance I might be wrong? Is there any chance the “accuser” may have a point?

It will be interesting to see how many people answer this question in carefully vague terms before it becomes a mudslinging match over the two specific people you are talking about… yet again. Can we not just all move on from this?

Aethelwine's avatar

@glacial I have a personal situation that I’m dealing with that concerns a dear friend of mine. Can I not ask a question and see how others would deal with a similar situation? This is a Q&A site.

Mimishu1995's avatar

In real life: of course I’ll speak up! I can’t stand seeing my friend being falsely accused (as long as that’s my good friend :D.)
In fiction (I mean my upcoming story): no. I really want to but I can’t. Because it links directly to another person I love, and I want to protect him/her.

Sorry for a confusing answer but you are asking about something one of my characters stumbles upon. But thing is rather complicated so he cannot make a clear decision. I bet I will never have to encounter such thing, that’s why the “real life” answer is so simple

glacial's avatar

@jonsblond Of course you can. But I’ve often observed that when people ask thinly veiled questions about other members (past and current) of the site, things do not end well for anyone, including the asker.

ibstubro's avatar

I definitely would speak up, damn the consequences. I’ve been known to come to the aid of a total stranger if I know the facts to be other than stated. I’ve always had a high defined sense of right and wrong, and I’ve been prepared to stand up for right all my life.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Most likely but it would depend on the specifics of the situation.

Especially the readable state of my friend’s reaction.

Katniss's avatar

I would definitely speak up. I’m a big defender of the people I care about.

kritiper's avatar

Absolutely not! I was falsely accused of something at work years ago and it sucked! No one could step forward in my defense but others could have at least talked to me about it, which might have cleared up the problem but evidence pointed to me and only me so everyone ignored me. It took five years for me to determine that the branch manager and his wife were the culprits.

ucme's avatar

Not unless they wanted me to, otherwise i’m in there like a rat up a drainpipe.

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Coloma's avatar

Yes, it depends if they wanted my backup.
I’d certainly step in if asked, and by the same token, I also, will not ever lie for anybody or cover up a lie. I’ve had a couple friends over the years involved in affairs and I told them straight up, do not put me in this position because I will NOT cover for you!

ibstubro's avatar

I have to admit that I’m impulsive. I’m libel to give back-up whether or no, unless told or requested to do so.

In the reverse position, I would sincerely tell a friend, “Don’t do anything to jeopardize yourself”, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate it if they came forward anyway.

GrellAKAFruitQueen's avatar

Of course not.As a friend,it’s my duty to help them.

illusionslies's avatar

No. I would be even more defensive than I probably should. Also, definitely more defensive than if it was me being falsely accused. I am a justice follower in human relations.
A friend had an argument with the police, and how she was treated made me go nuts. I hated the police anyway, so I took her aside and argued with him. It didn’t do much, but at least he heard what he stood for in that moment is completely disgusting.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Bahaha, me? Stay silent about something?


tinyfaery's avatar

It really depends. If my htpothetical friend won’t stand up for herself, I question her desire for something to be done about it.

If my hypothetical friend consulted with me and was angry I would encourage her to say something. If that same friend was upset and hopeless about the hypothetical problem, I might say something.

I feel it’s a bit condescending to assume my hypothetical friend needs to be rescued.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

While I am quick to come to the aid of another, we all make mistakes at times, and having good, loyal friends doesn’t prevent those moments, always. On those occasions, the friend would not want your loyalty to cause you to be draggeed down with them. I’m saying, pick your moments as best you can. Even a good friend can have it coming to them sometimes. I don’t envy your situation.

zenvelo's avatar

I would speak up, even if it made me unpopular. I have done so in the past, and will in the future.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Like @Adirondackwannabe, I’d speak up. Even if a friend did something wrong, there’s a time and way to handle things.

Unbroken's avatar

I didn’t read all the answers.

But when I was younger I used to defend people I loved and thought highly of 100%. They would tell their side and I wouldnt even consider other factors.

As I have grown older I now see things as more grey then black and white. I tend to step back listen to the other side. If it is a public forum I might say that a person is better served to hold their tongue or save is for a more private venting.

Usually when a person comes to me in private I do try to support them but I also feel the need to slightly check them. Yes they need support but not blind support. Staying in touch with reality is helpful.

Valerie111's avatar

I hate confrontation, but yeah, I would definitely speak up.

Nimis's avatar

If I felt that something I had to say could help the situation, I would definitely speak up.
This also applies to anyone really.

Otherwise, I would just let them know that I supported them.

But, for the most part, my friends can handle themselves.

chyna's avatar

No I have to speak up.

Blondesjon's avatar

@tinyfaery . . . what if it was about your cats?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’d speak up.

yankeetooter's avatar

I would definitely speak up, as I hope they would do for me if our situations were reversed…

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’d go so far as to say I may even kick some arse. :)

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^^We are corrupting you darling!!

tinyfaery's avatar

Meh. I don’t care what people think and I know my cats don’t either.

Blondesjon's avatar

You know better than that. Cats are notorious narcissists. They care what everybody thinks and just play it off like they don’t.

They are the hipsters of the animal kingdom.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I would stand up for and defend my friend. It’s the most logical and correct thing to do.

Aethelwine's avatar

I would speak up, even if it made me unpopular. I have done so in the past, and will in the future

Great answer @zenvelo.

Thanks everyone!

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