At work today, my boss slapped me, what can I do?

Quit and use that reason why you quit… and while on government assistance look for another job.

@talljasperman I thought you only get unemployment benefits if you’re made redundant and not if you quit. Am i wrong?

First, are you in the US? would you mind giving us your state?
Did the slap leave any mark? you should take a picture of it immediately.
You need to write out exactly what happened in as much detail as you can and take it ti HR on Monday (or Tuesday if you’re off for the holiday.)
You might also want to file an assault complaint with the police.

We have a couple of members who work or have worked in HR, so I am sure they can give you more specific help.

If possible, send an email to HR detailing your complaint in full.

Definitely, go in first thing the next day HR is available (Veteran’s Day tomorrow, I’m sure they’ll be closed, no?)

You can get unemployment if you leave due to a hostile work environment, but it will not help your case if HR doesn’t have anything on record.

Yes. Report it to HR and get supervisor immediately. If it was witnessed you might even be able to get her attested for assault.

I meant arrested.

@Rarebear no witnesses as mentioned. it was just me and her there.

Everyone, any ideas what will HR do in such a situation where it looks like it will be my word against hers?

@Judi i’m in AZ. No marks as far as I can tell.

One of the things I’d be wanting to know is if anyone else has ever had a similar experience with this person. That is highly unprofessional behavior and ought not to be tolerated. Just the yelling ought to be cause enough for complaint, and I’d be willing to bet that if she’s done it before, it hasn’t always been when the building was empty. HR might even have something on file already.

@Sylvia88 You need to research the rules in your local jurisdiction. I’m from Canada.

@Jeruba I don’t know if she’s done it before, didn’t hear anything about it and never assumed she’ll go farther than yelling. One thing I didn’t mention, I work for a software company which develops financial services (capital markets) software and our office is not very big, around 40 people, so HR consists of one person who is on holiday until Nov 18th. Should I wait until then or do I try to get hold of her now? I basically work for the profesional services (consulting) dept of the company and this was about a presentation for a client.

You should absolutely send that email, then. You want date-stamped documentation of what happened and when it happened. If it is possible to get hold of her, do it, but at the very least, get your side of the story in writing before the abuser does.

In an office that small, do you happen to have a personal cell phone number? So you can send a text letting her know you’re sending a high-priority email? “Hi, Susan, please check your inbox, there was an incident at work between myself and Sally and I need your advice.” She may take a few minutes out of her holiday to help out.

Quit

^ Fuck that noise. The person running around hitting people should be fired.

Agree with seek. Don’t quit. But write the email now.

Who does she report to? If HR is out I would go to her boss(with your documentation of the incident) and tell them that you are sorry to bother them but this is way to important to wait for HR to return.

Welcome to Fluther, the home of serious answers (sometimes).

If I were you I would file a confidential complaint with HR stressing that you don’t want them to attempt to “investigate” or “take action” at this time (unless there may be security cameras in the building or office that you don’t know about, and which may validate your story). The reason you don’t want an investigation is that it would come to naught, as you already realize given the lack of witnesses and, whether we like it or not, your status in the company vis á vis hers. But you want to make the complaint, including all of the relevant details, so write up the incident today in full, while it’s fresh in your mind. You have a week to polish it, but the details should be captured right now.

Second, I would refuse to meet with her again in any one-on-one meetings. You now know that when you deal with her you need a witness / backup, so have someone in mind to act as your wingman. And when she asks for any special behavior, such as overtime, weekend or evening work to make her job work better, just look her in the eye and say, “No.” If she’s really the sociopath that she seems to be, she won’t even understand why; she’ll be entirely clueless.

Be careful there.

Definitely document, document, document.

I agree that you should send the email today or tomorrow. That way no one can question why you waited a week to report it. I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t take your side seriously.
Most people would not make up a story like that. I wouldn’t ask them to not investigate now.
You have only been there 5 months, so you have no idea how many other complaints there have been. This person needs to be stopped now.

That is assault. Do everyone who will ever come in contact with this person a big favor, including her family—have her arrested for first degree assault then sue her ass into the ground. If the company doesn’t fire her immediately, sue them as well. This cannot be tolerated one bit. I’ll bet money—real money—that this she has a history going back to her teens. She’s a bully and needs to be taken out.

The details indicate that the boss is a woman.

Her boss is a she…..not that it changes anything. I agree with you @Espiritus_Corvus

Yeah, thanks, I caught that after I blasted away. That headline got me. Makes no difference. I have a real hatred for cowards in power positions who abuse the people under them. They are lucky that I am not a judge.

My brother was a manager for a company and an employee was upset. He got fired for putting his hand on his arm and telling the guy to settle down and there were witnesses!
Actually hitting an employe is criminal.
I wouldn’t wait for HR. In a small company the owner needs to know!

SUE

I agree that it makes no difference whether it was a man or a woman, @Espiritus_Corvus. The difference that matters, I think, is in whether or not we read the details before giving advice on such a serious question.

@Seek_Kolinahr I change my answer to yours… the bitch needs to be fired.

@jeruba. You’re right. I missed the part where nobody else was there. Sorry about that

As has been said, you need to fully document this incident, from the time you were called into work on a Sunday right through the physical force used and afterwards.

If there were no witnesses then you need to expect her to deny it. Take your documentation to HR, be rational and factual. Tell them how she has made you feel threatened, that you are now concerned for your well being because this has escalated to physical violence against you. My guess is that she has done this before, but, if it’s her first time then your reporting it might help to make it her last.

Expect this to be difficult and uncomfortable. Keep your notebook to journalize events. Do not be alone with her at work, or work on the weekend with her either. If it keeps up you may want to seek legal counsel for assistance.

You learn from both good and bad experiences, this is a great example of how you do not want to conduct yourself as a manager. Chin up, get yourself safe and find another job.

Not only document but write your notes on something other than a work computer and keep a copy in a separate place.

Please come back here and let us know what happens with this as it plays out.

Not that I’m “for” your boss, nor do I condone that her slapping you was right… But for fairness sake, were you up in her face? Were you guys having a yelling match before the slap? What did you say to make her slap you. (Only you know what you said to tick her over the edge) The reason I ask you this isn’t to side with her at all.

It’s because when it comes to HR it will be your word vs hers and you better believe she will have some sort of defensive answer. (Just something for you to think about)

@pleiades Physical violence in the work should never be tolerated no matter the circumstances.

Excellent advice here, please, please, PLEASE. take the necessary actions to expose this nut case boss for what she is, unstable and abusive!
I am so sorry you had this experience!
I am a VERY NICE woman, but, I’ll tell you what, IF that had happened to me, I would have knocked that woman silly, called the police on the spot and made damn sure she lost her job.
This is 10,000% unacceptable!

Report to HR and any other supervisors, higher management ASAP!

Report it to HR. This is harassment borderline physical abuse. They will go through the procedure. If that doesn’t help, you can try to get the help of your direct supervisor. You can also contact your state’s Labor Board. You could press charges on her for assault. Call an attorney for advice on how to proceed.
Make sure you start looking for a new job immediately before this goes any further.

What did she say or do afterward? Was she full of apologies, “Oh, my God, I didn’t mean to do that, I’m so sorry,” or was it more like accusation and justification?

And what did you say or do?

She’s not excused, either way, but the slap wasn’t the end of the story. Something happened next. What was it?

I would report this asap-like now. What if this lady realizes what she has done and makes up a elaborate lie and says @Sylvia88 slapped her? What a piece of trash. Watch your back Sylvia you are working with a psychopath!

@Emmy1234, you know, you have a great point there.

An incident once happened with a coworker of mine, known to be a very difficult, temperamental woman. I brought her a thick document that I had carefully marked up with corrections (that was my job). She grabbed it out of my hand, said she didn’t have time to make all those changes, and threw it across the cubicle.

I went straight back to my desk and wrote a detailed message to my manager describing exactly what had happened.

And not a moment too soon, because as it turned out, the woman went to her manager and accused me of losing my temper and throwing the document.

The two managers, who were peers under the same boss, squared off, and neither one of them would back down at first, even though I had a reputation for getting along with everybody and my coworker was known to be a hot-headed complainer.

I asked for a four-way meeting, but the two on the other side refused, continuing to insist that I was lying. Finally my boss declared an impasse and advised me to drop it. Against my better judgment, I did, because even though she said she believed me, she wouldn’t back me up any further against the other manager, and I had no evidence, only my word. I understood then that she had caved and I’d been sacrificed for some notion of “playing nice.” Somehow “the throwing incident” came to be a black mark against me, even though I had done nothing but report my coworker’s action to my own manager.

I took it as a lesson: you’re on your own. Even the ones who are supposed to stand by you can’t be relied on.

Injustices are done all the time, and this incident could affect @Sylvia88‘s job regardless of what she does, but she shouldn’t lie down for it. No one should.

@Rarebear You wrote “Physical violence in the work should never be tolerated no matter the circumstances.”

I completely agree!

The reason I posted my questions was because the “Self Defense” claim is very much considered during these kind of circumstances. Again, I’m not siding with the boss, or anyone for that matter. Just trying to see the black and white in all of this.

@pleiades, your wording makes it sound like you think @Sylvia88 caused the slapping:

What did you say to make her slap you. (Only you know what you said to tick her over the edge)

Nothing made the woman slap her. She did that all by herself.

^^^ Right….that is called “blaming the victim”..nobody ‘makes” anyone do anything.

I think there aren’t shortage of jobs if you are a hard working & knowledgeable person. It is very rude & awkward if she slapped you. It is because no one can slap anyone without any strong reason and I don’t think so any one have a right in the office to slap anyone like this. You should have to quite that job & further report a complaint against her. No one can tolerate such kind of behaviour in the office & tell everyone about her that reaction so that everyone take your side in future.

Slap the bitch back.

To what end, @Headhurts? For what reason? What would it solve?

I wouldn’t let someone slap and just stand there and take it. That is giving them a right. No body hits me without being hit back.

But what does it accomplish?

That no one gets to hit me without being hit back.

So…you lose your job but you get to boast on yourself. OK. So be it.

I don’t want to be s doormat for someones fist. Been there. No more.

There are other ways of fighting, that will have a better outcome for you. No sense in cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Well it isn’t about me is it? I said what I would do if it was me. Don’t care about what anyone else thinks.

File an assault charge with the police.

It’s Tuesday, 9:00AM EST.

I hope she comes back with an update.

@Sylvia88- Whats the word? What ended up happening?

Really” we need an update!

Why do people do this shite?

I’m thinking she’s got a lot going on. Updating some strangers on a Q&A site probably isn’t her highest priority at this point. Patience, little jellies.

You’re probably right, @Nimis, but she asked strangers for help. And several people have given time and thought to her situation. It’s not unreasonable to expect some follow-up.

She hasn’t been back to the site since the day she joined.

@Jeruba You’re right my wording was horrible!

I meant to say, something more a long the lines of, “What was said before she slapped you? or did you get in her face?”

Yeah, this kind of goes back to…. this world where if someone says something you don’t like you just speak your mind. Tell the bitch what’s up. And in the Real World that just doesn’t always (in fact, NEVER) works in your favor.

@Jeruba As someone who is often struck quiet on the questions that matter most to me, (And chatter endlessly on those that are not.) I feel as if I should apologize on her behalf. (And to anyone who has felt this way on a question that I’ve asked.)

I hope she comes back to update too! But I also understand if she doesn’t. Dealing with crazy is a time suck.

Hopefully her not logging in is because she’s busy sticking it to Crazy Boss Lady.

I hope she pins her down and clips her toenails and hair to make a voodoo doll. haha ;-)

I also hope the OP comes back with an update… and more details.

I, for one, would love to see the boss’ side of the story. I’d also like to have a much clearer picture in my mind of “the slap”. I’m sure that everyone who has read the OP’s account has their own mental image of what it might have been like, but… it was never described. Was a big, wound up, full-force slap across the cheek that spun @Sylvia88‘s head and left a mark? Or was it more of a chiding chuck, such as one might lovingly give to a cutely misbehaving grandchild? Or something in-between? Was it even intentional? Could it have been the boss, in her moment of pique, flinging her hands and grazing @Sylvia88‘s face? Was it, in fact, mean-spirited at all? Other than the fact that yelling preceded it (and even “yelling” has different connotations for different people) we only have the OP’s description, using words that may not mean the same to us that they mean to her.

I’m not here to absolve the boss; she may be as crazy as everyone seems to think she is. But she may not be, either. I like to realize that there is always another side to things, and sometimes even more than one other side.

@CWOTUS You bring up a good point and perception in a situation that raises hackles.

Yes he does!

@CWOTUS, I agree. Earlier I asked what happened right afterward, and @pleiades asked what happened right before.

I have the impression that several of us think there’s something missing in this picture, and we’re a little reluctant to judge without knowing what it is.

The OP has still not logged back into the site since the date of the first post, but she might be reading the thread all the same. Perhaps she is reconsidering what might have been a one-sided report. Not that slapping is justified in any case—but different perceptions do produce different stories.