General Question

generalspecific's avatar

After how many dates do you make it official?

Asked by generalspecific (1874points) June 25th, 2008

I recently went on about three dates with this fellow and I’m fairly sure that I wouldn’t like to pursue a relationship with him. I’m trying to be nice about it but at the same time avoid him asking for me to be his girlfriend, and I’m also sort of worried that he’ll think I was “leading him on”.
So basically I’m just wondering, after how many dates would a guy usually ask? (providing that before those dates, they never really hung out one-on-one)

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8 Answers

jlm11f's avatar

i read somewhere that you should always give a guy 3 dates before you reject him. so following that dating advice/etiquette, 3 dates is definitely not enough to make it official. i would say 2 weeks after the 3 dates (if you don’t meet at all in those 2 weeks, then that obviously doesn’t count).

ebenezer's avatar

does a guy have to ask a girl if she will be his girlfriend? That’s not just highschool? If this is the case I have been enlightened on one aspect of my girl problems. I thought it would be obvious when it was official? I feel like I am butting in…

willbrawn's avatar

my girlriend before she dated me only gave a guy three dates then she would cut it off. In her mind after the third there is a relationship.

I personally think being a “girlfriend or boyfriend” means more than just dates. Hanging out all the time and wanting to be with each other helps.

If you just ignore him. He’ll get the idea.

TrenchMouth's avatar

I usually date 2–3 other people before making it official. So, 2–3…

Jax's avatar

The moment he asks you to hang out one on one would be the point where he considers you as his girlfriend, or at least soon to be.

Also this is the point where you should be honest and tell him in the nicest way he is not your kind of relationship material.

flameboi's avatar

2–3 no more than that

generalspecific's avatar

@ebenezer: I guess it would be sort of obvious, but it’d just be easier if you officially asked so there would be no confusion later on, because everyone has a different idea what a relationship is. that’s just my two cents.

@jax: well as I always saw it, you went on dates with someone to try it out and see if they’d be suitable for a relationship. at the time he asked me out, I was considering him as well, but after those dates I realized it could never work out.

@everyone elseee: thanks a lot for your input, it’s helped. now for the hard part: getting him to take the hint. haha.

Jax's avatar

Well that’s what dates are for. But in this case you already made up your mind about him.

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