‘Tis the season for dinner and party invitations – host/hostess gift ideas?

Kindness

Ooops, misspelled a tag. Hostess!

Box of Godiva chocolates

I’m not sure if it counts as a hostess gift, but I always offer to bring something for the meal. However, if the host has everything planned, I don’t force the offering onto them. Unless it’s my sister-in-law, because I want to make sure there is something decent to eat!

Otherwise, I think a plant, flowers, wine or high-end chocolates are nice. With wine, I wouldn’t insist that the host use it at that dinner. If it’s near a holiday, something related to that is nice. For Christmas, an ornament or small wreath would be good. I don’t know enough about Jewish traditions to know what would be appropriate around Hannukah. At Thanksgiving a pretty, decorative cornucopia could be nice.

Very often, hosts prefer not to receive tchotchkes, decorative wall hangings, or other items for their homes. We all own too much stuff, much of which eventually gets re-gifted, sold at a yard sale, or given to charity.

Speaking of charities, a charitable donation, made in someone’s name, can be very risky. Unless you know that the host endorses and supports a certain organization, you might innocently do the wrong thing. For example, I’m an animal rights activist who vehemently opposes any form of animal testing; if someone makes a donation, on my behalf, to a charity that funds testing, I need to have my name removed from the contribution.

Exotic, gourmet foods are often appreciated but flops. Who doesn’t have jars and cans of weird items, usually received in gift baskets, lurking in the depths of a pantry?

Better choices:
– Bouquet of flowers
– Box of nice chocolates
– Bottle of wine or liquor (if the host drinks)
– Tea or coffee selection (for someone who enjoys either/both)
– Treats for the family’s dog or cat
– Cheese selection
– Interesting cookbook (if the host loves to cook)

I always bring dessert. That way, if there’s nothing good at dinner, I know there’s a good dessert. Of course, the hostess is under no obligation to serve it, but they always do. Sometimes they had no dessert anyway, and sometimes they do and now there’s one more thing.

I like holiday themed hand towels or kitchen towels. It’s one of those things thats fairly inexpensive, makes my home festive but that I rarely buy for myself.
Flowers or Poinsettias are nice too.

@Judi Holiday-themed items can be fun, but the giver should be sensitive to the recipient’s customs and beliefs. My husband, who’s Jewish, once received a set of Christmas hand towels at an office gift exchange.

Of course, if someone’s being invited to an event that’s specifically called a Christmas party, Hannukah party, etc., that makes things easier!

@jca I once brought some brownies to a Passover seder. (My Passover brownies are famous, and people often send requests for some.) The hostess got offended, said that she already had a dessert, and told me that she wouldn’t be serving the brownies.

It turned out that she had bought a crappy, over-sweetened cake at some kosher bakery. Would it have killed her to serve a plate of brownies, along with the icky cake, and give people a choice? Yikes.

I love kitchen towels! I would avoid holiday towels myself but kitchen towels never go to waste and I hang onto my own when they are looking awful.

I love getting something unique from where a person lives if they are not local. Something edible is best, because I am not much of a tchotchke person as Sadie mentioned above, so house knick knacks just go in a closet or a cabinet a lot of the time. Recently a MI friend game a kitchen hot mitt with the state of MI on it with highlights of various cities and regions. You know how MI is in the shape of a mitt, so it is very cute. I love it.

Also, if you bring wine or beer that is fine with me too, because I almost never have enough. I used to buy a lot for parties and be left with way too much. I don’t drink alcohol. The gift isn’t for me, but it is basically a BYOB or I can regift it. I used to get annoyed with all the wine sitting around my house, now I just make sure to give it away.

I really don’t want flowers unless you send them ahead as a looking forward or send them afterwards as a thank you. But, it’s a nice gesture no matter what.

If you arrive with nothing I am not offended for a second. You were invited for me to entertain you. Unless it is a potluck, I don’t expect anything. Sometimes the addition of unexpected food feels like an obligation to serve it and if the meal is carefully planned it can be unwanted. It depends on what type of party and how the food is served. Most holiday parties are a free for all of food, and extra food usually is fine.

For Christmas parties, I like to give ornaments. A Christopher Radko is pricey but appreciated.

Otherwise, a bottle of wine.

@SadieMartinPaul: I can’t imagine someone getting offended about someone showing up with anything. For myself, as a recipient, I would act grateful and gracious no matter what, unless it was offensive to someone’s race or gender or something. A food, however, would not be offensive. If it were a food that represented another country or nationality, then the more the merrier! We would enjoy it and learn about another culture.

If I had a friend who I brought food to and she got upset, I would probably write her off as an a-hole.

@SadieMartinPaul Did she keep Kosher and know you didn’t or was that not the issue at all?

@janbb That wasn’t the issue at all.

Although she does keep kosher in her home, she hosts a pot luck Thanksgiving dinner every year. Because she serves a turkey, all of the contributed dishes need to be dairy-free. But, she knows that the items are prepared in non-kosher kitchens and with dishes, pans, and utensils that don’t conform. Also, she doesn’t observe the kosher laws, at all, when she’s in a restaurant or otherwise eating away from home.

Yes, my Passover brownies were non-dairy, so they didn’t break her rules.

@SadieMartinPaul Then that confirms it, just rude.

@SadieMartinPaul But, the seder wasn’t potluck I gather. See this goes to what I said about the host feeling pressured to put out the dish even if they don’t want to. She didn’t feel the pressure, or resisted it, and now a lot of people think it is rude. Passover is usually a very planned out meal. I hear people say they are fine if the hostess doesn’t use whatever dish they brought, but I don’t think it is usually true. I think people cook or bake so other people at the party can enjoy the dish, and feel insulted if the dish is put away in a fridge or paced in the pantry.

I am always the hostess, and I like table decorations, kitchen towels, wine, gift coffee (ground please) and serving platters or such.

The only dinner parties I attend are collaborative affairs amongst a group of our friends. We all take something for the meal, or a bottle of wine, or something nice but non-alcoholic for the drivers to drink. No additional gifts are involved.

I don’t think I’ve ever received a host gift, unless you count someone contributing beer to a barbeque. Flowers are nice – YMMV, though, if your host has allergies. Daisies are pretty hypoallergenic, though ‘tis not quite the season.

I wonder about food and wine gifts, because the host might feel obligated to serve it along with the meal, and they may already have their own wine paired with the dinner. It’s not really a gift if you’re expected to use it right away, with the person that gifted it. Maybe if it had a little note: “For you to enjoy later”. That might be nice.

I like making/giving my awesome cranberry apple relish, home made pies and having little snack parties.
As far as receiving really, just hanging out with friends and my daughter, okay, a nice scented candle is always a good choice. :-)

@Seek_Kolinahr I guess there is a difference between a gift and a contribution to the party. Sometimes it is hard to know what it is unless it has a note attached as you suggested.

I think ornaments are a perfect gift.

Have not yet read the other comments, will do so after posting.

My favorite thing to give are homemade treats, but that is because I like to cook. Good bets are quickbreads (pumpkin, gingerbread, banana) and fudge and cookies, or even pie.

It also helps to know your audience. If you are going to make baked goods, make sure you know whether someone is allergic to peanuts or has celiac disease or diabetes. I have a running list of no-nos for my family and friends.

If you know your friends like to cook, you can give them a little (don’t spend too much or they’ll feel awkward) cookbook, wrap it up in a tea towel tied with ribbon and hang some wooden spoons or cookie cutters on the present. Like This.w.1500_s.fit.jpg

I would also make (or you could buy) potted succulents. They’re very pretty, low maintenance and most people can’t kill them, even those people with a brown thumb. You can buy a very pretty, small pot, no more than say 6 inches across and put 3 or 4 itty bitty succulents in there (make sure to use cactus and succulent mix). Ruby Ball Cacti are especially nice for a Christmas arrangement because of the color.

I also give poinsettia plants. They’re gorgeous and come in all sorts of new colors, in addition to the traditional red ones. I like These and These and These

I also like little baby Christmas Trees which may or may not be actual pine trees, but anything that is purposely shaped like a pine tree in a decorated pot is nice. Like this Rosemary Tree or This

Anything from Swiss Colony or Hickory Farms or Harry and David Just make sure to adjust your order depending upon the dietary needs of your hosts (like don’t give salami to vegetarians, of course).

You can always make some home made mixes too, like Soup in which you put all of the ingredients into a mason jar, wrap it with ribbon and make a tag that lists the ingredients and gives instructions on how to make the recipe. You can also do that with Brownie Mix You can also do that with Ranch Dressing Dry Ingredients

If you happen to have some cute photos of the host family with or without you also in the picture with them, you can make up a 4X6 or 5X7 print and have it framed.

If you feel super ambitious, you can make Compound Butters

A set of Tea Towels which if you are feeling ambitious and crafty, you can wrap in brown kraft paper that you have decorated yourself with Potato Prints

Jarred jam, chutney, pickled vegetables,olives, olive oil, vinegar, maple syrup or what have you from one of your local farms.

@JLeslie Actually, I wasn’t insulted, just bemused.

I’d never pressure a host into serving a bottle of wine that I bring; that’s a gift for the host, not a contribution to dinner, and the cook may have carefully planned the right wine for each course. Same thing with candy or a dessert; the host can share it or save it at his/her prerogative.

The bemusement part was because every guest was a family member. They all love my Passover brownies and usually ask me to bake/bring them to each year’s event. And, the host’s bakery cake really s*cked; people took slices but didn’t eat them. If it had been me, I would have brought out the brownies. But, that was her, not me.

As I read down through this, a new thought struck me, and I think it’s brilliant.
If you can’t afford much, a nice plant, as suggested by @Kardamom, my preference would be Baby Toes, an adoreable succulent I’ve been trying to find for myself.
If you can afford it, I think the absolute beginning and end would be to bring a certificate for a housekeeping service. People who have parties are stuck after with clean up. Presenting a clean up would be an awesome way to participate in the festivities, and be helpful too, without having to stay after.

@SadieMartinPaul Do you typically host the seder? I just wonder if maybe she felt competitive with you in some way or was taking pride in hosting this time and wanted it to be her seder, all hers, her food. Even if some of it was store bought.

What you said about the wine made me think of one time I was hosting a party and someone brought wine. I thanked them of course and since I had my hands full I asked them to go ahead and place it with the other bottles of wine. They questioned it in a way that made me feel like they were reluctant to put it there. I wnder if it was a special bottle, maybe expensive, meant for my husband and I to enjoy at a later time. Putting it over with the other wines meant a good chance other peoplemwould be driniking and I might never get a taste.

@Jonesn4burgers I love baby toes succulents. They remind me of sea anemones.

@JLeslie “Do you typically host the seder?”

(Hi! How have you been?) No, Paul and I live in a small condo, so we don’t have enough room for, say, 20–25 guests. I haven’t hosted a Seder in maybe 25 years.

That’s a very interesting story about your guests and the bottle of wine. Clearly, they meant to give you a personal gift, which they wanted you to enjoy at your leisure, and they didn’t want it to get lost among other bottles. You, as host, were inclined to share with everyone at your party. In my opinion, both you and the wine donors are gracious, generous people.

We gave someone a very expensive bottle of wine (like $100–150) once and just about freaked out when they opened it and cooked the chicken in it.
Actually, if you’re following this question, it’s the same person that I was referring to there.

Thing is, we don’t drink wine, so we never would have partaken in the consumption of it anyway. There was more chance of us tasting it if it were opened at a party then if it had stayed on my shelf closed. In my house a bottle of wine is regifted, put in food (@Judi how awful to watch such an expensive bottle of wine go into the food) or my dad drinks it when he visits.