[NSFW] What illegal act would you do if the law would allow you?

Our sense of what is morally acceptable constrains us from lots of actions. Legal or not, most of us have no desire to commit armed robbery or murder. But most of us do have at least one or more things we would actually do if it were legal—things that we avoid simply because we don’t want to run afoul of the law. What is it you’d actually like to do, and definitely would do if it were suddenly legal for you to do it? If it’s something that’s SFW, then just click to this version of the question.