Let’s create some universal holiday rules for holiday driving, shall we?
Now that it is less than two hour into Christmas, whoopee, some people are going to start celebrating and won’t stop until New Year. To keep everyone safe let’s agree to some rules:
1. If you cannot get your vehicle started after two tries, take a cab!
2. If you can’t remember where you parked your vehicle, take a cab!
3. If you can’t remember what vehicle you were driving, take a cab!
4. If you see more than one street in front of you while behind the wheel, TAKE A CAB!
5. If you visited the porcelain god 120 minutes before attempting to drive, take a cab!
6. If you can’t get your key in the keyhole, take a cab!
7. Remember, sidewalks are where people are, keep your car off them.
8. If you see something 4.5 to 6 ft tall and column-like in front of you, stop, especially if it is moving in a crosswalk.
9. If you don’t stop and you hear a loud thump, don’t keep driving, stop!
What do you think can be added to the list to increase safety?
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13 Answers
Stay home. No exceptions.
If you have even one drink take a cab or have a designated driver at your disposal.
No boinking clowns (male or female) and driving at the same time.
If you misspell schnockered, let someone else take the wheel.
Do not be financially irresponsible to take a cab. Take the Bus, or the Train.
I’m not sure how “universally” your ideas will be, given that the audience is limited to a bunch of Flutherites silly enough to be online during the holiday.
The real problem is that your ideas are urbano-centric. They assume that I live in a city where this is taxi service.
I live out in the exurbs – I haven’t seen a taxi in my town for 14 years. “Take a taxi” is fine advice if you live someplace where there are taxis.
I would wrap all of your advice into one single sentence—Always assume that the other drivers are drunker than you.
I live in a rural area where there are no buses and the trains go only to NYC, Albany or Montreal. THe choices are driving, biking, hitching, riding a horse, walking or taking a taxi.
@gailcalled If you misspell schnockered, let someone else take the wheel.
My Christmas gift to you; a day without correction is a day without sunshine. What would I be on Christmas not tossing a bone now and then? ;-)
When taking your local Xmas light tour turn your headlights lights off!
You will not have an accident going 5 mph through a neighborhood with all the intense illumination from the 7,000,000,000 lights you are supposed to be enjoying. Pffft!
@gailcalled “I live in a rural area where there are no buses and the trains go only to NYC, Albany or Montreal. THe choices are driving, biking, hitching, riding a horse, walking or taking a taxi.”
If you can’t capitalize properly, take a cab! No excuses! (LOL)
Christmas is a magical time. I pass out drunk on the floor, and wake up in someone’s front yard the next morning. It’s magic!
Good list, @Hypocrisy_Central. My answer to Christmas driving was “Don’t do it.” Instead, I’m cooking a spiral-cut, honey-glazed ham. My son had to run out briefly, but stone sober and early enough in the day he didn’t find any not-so-sober drivers going the wrong way on his side of the road. Nonetheless, I was greatly relieved when he returned from his excursion unscathed and with his car dent free.
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