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Hawaii_Jake's avatar

What did you feel when you lost your best friend?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (30606points) January 6th, 2014

It may have been through death, divorce, or a break-up—for lack of a better term.

What was your experience?

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17 Answers

Mimishu1995's avatar

I think I’m experiencing it right now. I think of my friends all the time. I keep thinking about our good memories together then comparing them with the harsh present. All those things distract me from my work all the time.
Still, I am not really sure if I’ve lost them. I’m trying my best to get things back to normal again.

talljasperman's avatar

Like an earthquake destroyed everything that mattered, and left me crippled and helpless.

Coloma's avatar

The friends I have lost over the years I was already ready to let go of. I have never been devastated over a friendship. I have missed the qualities I have enjoyed about the person but the reasons for losing them trumped the good side. lol
Divorce sucked, extremely stressful and unhappy and emotional but I am the type that once I am over the initial shock or anger of a situation I can move on fairly easily.

I am not one to dwell in the past, I am more of a future oriented type and when I move on I move on.

cookieman's avatar

Very disconnected. To this day, I have no idea why he pulled away and have yet to find anyone to fill that void.

That being said, I do recognize that our friendship may have simply been “of a time” and, in hindsight, might be romanticizing it.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I am in a state of resigned shock at the moment.

WestRiverrat's avatar

He died with his blood literally on my hands, I was too busy at the time keeping the rest of the team alive to think about it. When I had time to think about it I cried like a baby, then I had my CO take me off the duty roster for 48 hours and got stinking drunk on home made marine hooch.

wildpotato's avatar

Anger, hurt, resignation, sadness – and honestly, looking back now…also a little relief.

9doomedtodie's avatar

Losing a loved one is like losing everything.

Smitha's avatar

It’s really depressing to lose a best friend. When I lost touch with my dear friend, I was devastated. I lost her phone number after my marriage. We were in two different states. There was no way to contact her. Those days emails were not that prominent. I sent a letter to her but it was returned. I felt worried for her and I missed her. I used to ask all my friends, to see if anyone had heard from her. As months and years passed by, I happened to meet her sister in a shop and I just screamed with delight. Finally I found her after fifteen long years.It was magical. Now she is in Minneapolis and I’m here in Dubai. Still we chat everyday. I just cannot imagine losing her!

pleiades's avatar

Endless sorrow, missing them ever so dearly. I was around 11–12 years old. My best friend was moving to the Philippines. His father was in the Navy and they lived in the US all of his life I think he made it to age 13? He was only one grade school older than me. I remember vividly that day. He went into that cloud 9 mini van and came to the door and said my name and stuck his hand out for me to shake. Door closed and he was off. I quickly went to the corner of the fence to watch the van drive by one last time.

The only thing I remember after that was blankness then I found myself taking a shower. Sobbing, crying, my heart was broken for the first time. I would never see him again. Maybe 12 years time passed and I found him on FB. I was thrilled to see him on FB but the feeling didn’t seem mutual.

We were best friends, during our child hood. We stole donuts and toys. We went to the movies all the time. We walked to and from school. We did all the fads together, biking, rollerblading, yo-yos. Whatever was big in the 90s we were into it together. Goddamn I miss that kid. Dennis Sauler. I’ll never forget him.

flutherother's avatar

My best friend, who I have known all my life has cancer. It is terminal and he doesn’t want to see anyone. I felt shock, some anger and disbelief. If he goes, part of me goes also. We shared things no one else shared. My mind keeps revisiting scenes from our past, things we might have reminisced about together and now never will.

rockfan's avatar

My best friend is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, and his experience through rehab has been extremely tough. He stole 7,000 dollars of things from my house to buy drugs, so it’s incredibly hard for me to forgive him.

serenityNOW's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake – I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through a rough period of a couple of months without talking to my best (guy) friend. He lives in Budapest, and I’m over here on the East Coast. I’d see him on Skype, but he wouldn’t respond… unanswered emails, etc. Finally, I wrote him a curt email – “Do I have anything to worry about?” He got back to me – turns out he got a new job that was exhausting him. As for Skype, he has it set up in a manner that when the mouse gets jostled, it sets his account as “Available.” Turns out his dog likes to bump into his desk, resulting in appearing “Available.” Anyway, without contact, everything just seemed bleak – there’s literally no one in the world that could replace him; I’d be devastated.

antimatter's avatar

Very crappy, because we had a fight over an ex girlfriend and we broke contact for a year and than when we decided to mend our friendship he died in a motor bike accident.

VS's avatar

Three years ago next month, my best friend of 38 years died from a brain aneurism. We were together every day, we vacationed together, worked in the same complex, and for most of that time, lived within a few miles of each other. Even when she moved 300 miles away to reunite with her first boyfriend, we travelled back and forth at least every other month to visit. How did I feel? I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I felt like there was a constant knot in my throat, and I felt like I would never, ever be able to stop crying. I knew my life would never be the same. As I write this, I am crying again because even after three years, I miss her every single day and I know that, although I have some wonderful friends, there will never be another friend in my life like Sharon.

LornaLove's avatar

I’ve lost what I’d call two best friends. I feel shocked, that someone so young and alive is dead. (That goes for both). It makes me wonder if they died and were so hardy large and full of life my own life is so fragile.

It makes me think I am old and that from now on I will have loads of lost friends through death.

It also makes me feel as though huge parts of my history has vanished never to be recovered because only they knew about it.

I sometimes look back to events and realize everyone at that event is dead and it is like I shared it with ghosts.

I cry for them still, since one is about a year now. I miss them and know that no other friend will replace them. I try to be thankful for the people I have left.

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