General Question

speedspine's avatar

How do I apologize to a girl who doesn't want to talk to me?

Asked by speedspine (14points) January 14th, 2014

Well, i asked her a question “My specific friend (not going to mention his name or if he sees this he’ll kill me) told me you liked him once” and she got angry and isn’t talking to me for about 2 weeks now. She is one of my best friends and now I feel ignored.

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29 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Write her an old-fashioned letter and say that you’re sorry.

“My specific friend (not going to mention his name or if he sees this he’ll kill me)”.
sounds very melodramatic. How old are you?

JimTurner's avatar

Say you are sorry and don’t do it again.

The rest is really up to the person to forgive you.

marinelife's avatar

Text her an apology. Say that you really mean it, and the loss of her friendship is painful to you.

alphabetpony92's avatar

I would not bother apologizing to someone who is so self righteous and egotistical that they won’t say a word to you. Not even a simple hello? Holy cow.

Pachy's avatar

With respect, I disagree with @alphabetpony92. If you feel the need to apologize to this girl—no matter how she is behaving—then do it, and as @JimTurner says, the ball is in her court. If she doesn’t respond, so be it—you will have done the right thing, because the act of making a genuine apology is perhaps even more important to the one who gives it than the one who receives it.

I also agree with @gailcalled. Taking the time and effort to put your words on paper “the old fashioned way” will be far more genuine and meaningful that simply sending a text.

JimTurner's avatar

@Pachy Exactly. Thanks Pachy you said it better.

Juels's avatar

Seems like there is a lot more to this story. If this girl was a good friend, why would she get so angry over you telling her what someone else said? What did you do that warrants an apology? Unless there is more to the story, it sounds like she should apologize to you.

Based on the very little you provided, the entire situation seems very immature.

keobooks's avatar

I’m trying to squish myself into a much younger version of me to answer this question. If an adult acted this way, I’d say good riddance to them—they have way too many personal problems if they are that easily offended.

Seriously—what was offensive about what you said? She could just say “Nope. You’re wrong.” And leave it at that.

I guess if you really want to be friends with this person you could just drop an apology—but I wouldn’t waste my time on someone who is so immature.

I guess I can’t put myself back in middle school to give a better answer. Sorry.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Message her and apologize, that’s all you can do. Some people don’t forgive easily and that’s their burden to carry, not yours. Good luck. BTW, this happens as adults, too, you just have to let it go.

snowberry's avatar

And really, as others have said, this person sounds shallow enough that maybe, even if they were your “best friend”, they’re not really friend material, and once you heal, you’ll find you are better off without them.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I don’t understand why she is angry. You didn’t insult her, betray a confidence, or anything. So if someone came up to me and said “Johnny said you liked him once” , this is an insult of some kind?

There are a lot of ways to apologize to her, but what to say would be the difficult part, because I assume you don’t know why that particular statement made her so mad.

Nimis's avatar

Question does not compute.
More back story please.

talljasperman's avatar

I would wait until your friend has time to cool off… It’s your friends turn next. Apologize when it is your turn.

kimchi's avatar

Wait for a few more days.
Then say something like, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that to you. I should have found out for sure before I said this to you. Forgive me?”

speedspine's avatar

Guys, your suggestions are all gr8! But sadly I tried them already… And they didn’t work out. BY the way @skaggfacemutt she was out of the city when I asked her that and then she was all like “how can you be so rude making up rumors!!” She misunderstood and isn’t talking to me.

gailcalled's avatar

Time to find a new best friend, perhaps more mature than this one. You still haven’t told us how old you all are.

Misunderstandings are never (repeat – never) cleared up by the silent treatment.

Holding a grudge over a very petty (repeat – petty) event is also an unproductive method of relating.

Juels's avatar

If you’ve already sent her an explanation, then it is up to her to apologize to you. (Trust me, girls will read the text message before deleting it.) Don’t let her treat you like a doormat.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

@speedspine That is crazy! I would stop being friends with her. She sounds like some kind of a nut.

ISmart's avatar

communication is important, if you can’t talk to them about something then walk away from them.

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speedspine's avatar

Guys. Thnx for all of your suggestions!!! She cooled down!!!! She is back to normal.

speedspine's avatar

Take it back. She’s pissed again cuz she saw this question. What the heck

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gailcalled's avatar

Glad you resolved your differences.

(Take the banter to PM and please don’t use txtspk. Fluther writing standards)

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