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unkillsam's avatar

Should I marry here tho she is difficult?

Asked by unkillsam (9points) January 15th, 2014

Hello everyone,  thanks for letting me share my problem with you Im getting married in this june and to be honest IM NOT HAPPY. Im 34 she is 26 im arab and she is asian in a case like this culture will be the enemy of our relation but it’s not. So she’s a low self-esteemed, needy, sensitive and clingy girl with a heaps and heaps of jealousy she is jealous from her sisters and even my sisters, im very close to my family so sometimes after a chat with my sister on the phone I say “love you” and hang up my fiancé gets mad she think this I love you word is made for her only, and I failed many times to convince her that there is categories for I love you. She is a drama queen, she digs for problems if she couldn’t find one she opens old books and closed cases and discuss them again just for the sake of a trouble. I believe that the reason of her having low self esteem about her look is Her sister she is toooo jelous of her, tho she is way more pretty than her and I tried to tell her that but my words “gone with the wind” when ever her sister around its a cold war zone she said that her sister tried to reach her xboyfriend. when its PMS or period time the house becomes a hellhole, all I do is sit down and listen to her whining and complains about work the only words I feel im allowed to say is complements on how beautiful she is. She only remember the ugly things in my life, tonight she say how good I treat her, tomorrow im an ass boyfriend and never did any thing good to her, here mood swings fast and easy and always thinks bad about me, I feel she dont trust me, if im late she questions if I have music at work she think im in a party tho I never cheated on her and I treat her like a princess I cook her dinners, surprise her with flowers for god sake even few days ago I made her a surprise romantic dinner with candles, all her family and relatives loves me I treat them very nicely. We went to a consulting agent for a business thing I paid 300 dollars for one hour with him emagine guys she got upset because I didnt shake hands with him when I left his office and blamed me for being rude and un professional she start screaming in the car I had open the door and leave and she said to me if you leave thats it for us so I slammed the door and took a taxi home. If she want something and I say no she treat me like shit and keep having this frown on her face until I say yes. She care allot about how people think about her and if she get a complement about her beauty that will make her day but when I tell her u look beautiful she replies “you dont mean it you just saying this to make me feel good”. She cares allot about how I act in public and make a big fight if I didnt hold her hands or I ignored her for a second. If we go out she feels un secure walking with me because girls keep checking me out she think girls are thinking on how I ended up with a girl like her. She want to be treated like she is the center of the universe and every thing cycles around her. Last night I was watching one of my favorite series so while im watching she opened her youtube and start listening to a very loud drum music she didn’t care if im annoyed or not and she did that many times. She is always checking facebook and instagram and following bimbos and all the time keep showing me pictures of girls and say “you think she is beautiful, Coz I believe she is” And seriously I mean this how girls fall in the low self esteem issue, I keep telling her not to follow these things but she don’t listen. When we started the relation she told me new year or Valentine does not mean anything to her but for example last valentine she blamed me why I didn’t send her a card tho she told me she don’t believe in it Im too confused guys, she killed everything good in me and I dont see her sexy anymore im falling in a depression bcoz of her, and I dont know what to do. She says all girls do the same things she do so if any girl here reading this post please tell me are you all like this?? Im a business man and Im more in to work than to girls I don’t want to ruin my life and im 34 now so it’s time for me to start a family and having kids and im too ready for this.

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17 Answers

LornaLove's avatar

You are both to young and immature to get married.

glacial's avatar

“im too ready for this.”

No. youre not.

Adagio's avatar

I have to wonder why you asked/agreed to marry her at all, from what you have said you do not like her very much, which sounds very strange coming from a man on the verge of marriage.

DWW25921's avatar

No. Don’t do it. You can blame me if it’s any easier. Just say, “Sorry babe, some random guy on the internet thinks it’s a bad idea.” Seriously, don’t do it.

gorillapaws's avatar

You should wait to marry until you learn where the return key is on your keyboard. Paragraphs are your friend.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

You still haven’t broken it off? Don’t forget that a marriage will probably make at least 3 lives a misery – yours, hers, your future kid’s and whoever cares about you both. You see the fire and go and jump right into it?

Seaofclouds's avatar

Things seem to be a mess between the two of you. If this is an accurate depiction of your relationship, I don’t think marriage is a good idea.

Coloma's avatar

Sure get married and watch the issues grow like Sea Monkeys.
Whatever issues you have BEFORE you get married they will either stay the same oir get worse, do not count on them getting better. Won’thappen.

Smitha's avatar

Don’t marry her just because you plan to settle in life. Marriage is something you have to be very sure of. And since she has been creating so much issues before marriage I don’t think this is going to work out. Moreover you are an Arab and she is an Asian. I Live in Dubai and as far as I know, I believe most of the Asian girls who get into a relationship with an Arab guy already know where it may end up. They fall deeply in love with a person, then they start having high expectations or start demanding security, thereby creating issues. Moreover society and cultural pressure (though not now a problem)could be a hindrance in your relation in future. So don’t marry her.

creative1's avatar

Marriage does not make a not working relationship suddenly work

Trust is a big part of marriage and it doesn’t sound like she has any trust that you will be faithful. I think I would call it all off and/or see a couples counselor to see if you are even able to work through the issues that are in your relationship before getting married and then ultimately divorced because that is where it sounds this is leading to.

Pandora's avatar

Honestly, I would tell her that the ugliness in her heart outshines the beauty of her face and so you can’t marry her. If you have to give up all the people you care about to make her happy, then you have no future happiness. You will grow to detest her and she will continue to grow needier as you push her away. You should be looking for a partner in life.Not a soul sucking banshee.

The right girl will come along. You may also want to look into your own self esteem. Anyone who would let someone treat them like dirt, doesn’t have a very high opinion of them self. Or is it that your ego is so big that you think you only deserve the prettiest girl. Someone to show off. A trophy wife. In which case you get what you get, when you only care about the superficial.

Buttonstc's avatar

The only reason you should go through with this planned marriage is if you’re an extreme masochist who really enjoys the divorce process (and has plenty of money to waste on lawyers.)

In other words, no.

Call off this marriage now. You’ll be glad you did.

longgone's avatar

No. You don’t even seem to like her very much.

And no, we are not all like this…thank God.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Run away, fast, screaming at the top of your lungs. You could find a better match playing “Tag” on a train. I would be a better wife for you, and I have no desire to meet you.

ISmart's avatar

If you are not sure then you should not.. this is one decision you really want to make only once..

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