If you had to be executed, how would you want to go?
Asked by
El_Cadejo (
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January 19th, 2014
The recent discussion about the new drug cocktail used for execution got me thinking about the whole topic. Some would argue, as evident in ETPros’s question, that inmates don’t deserve the right to choose, but we’re going to ignore all that.
So here you are, ready to face the music and your executioner tells you that you can be killed in any way you wish. How do you go?
Drawn and quartered? Electrocution? Hanging? Guillotine? Firing squad? Lethal injection? Something else entirely?
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37 Answers
Beaver suffocation, taste the rainbow of fruit flavours.
Heart attack via lovemaking.
High speed car crash. But only if I am driving.
The shit I got when they pulled my wisdom teeth knocked me out for hours and was actually sort of lovely and fun. Give me that and chop my head off. I would be blissfully unaware.
3 Goose Island beers, a happy brownie and then, just shoot me. One quick, clean shot. Poof over and out. The prep can double as my last meal. lol
I’m not sure how exactly I’d want to go. I’m thinking something like being shot through the heart (and you’re too late) or maybe running out of air while scuba diving and drowning out over the reef . I’d want my brain intact as I pass and I wouldn’t want it clouded by some form of drugs. I’d want to fully experience what the brain goes through during death.
Sitting on top of a 1 Gigaton Fusion Bomb in the middle of Washington.
I was going to post this very question.
I would put on a heated suit, grab an o2 mask and bottle and tie a lawnchair to a couple of weather balloons. I’d watch the sun rise while drinking bourbon up around max altitude. Then jump off.
The worst way to go?
Locked in a plastic porta potty on a 100 degree day.
Firing squad, no blindfold. I want to be able to say goodbye to the world.
@wildpotato
I said firing squad as well, and I’d also want no blindfold. But to me it would be less about saying goodbye to the world, but rather to look my executors in the eye.
With my hands around the neck of an expired pig.
Guillotine. If I’m going to be executed, I want to leave a mess behind for some fucker to clean up. Also it would be cool if my head was mounted on a pike afterwards.
OD on Propyphol. I had that stuff once before. It rocks.
Quickly – very quickly. The last thing I’d want would be to be hanging at the end of a rope, still kicking and half alive or to have some bozo who’s a poor shot get the one live bullet and miss hitting me in the right spot if it was a firing squad. Lethal injection takes too long….electrocution – hey what if the power goes out halfway through? And the gas chamber is also too long. What does that leave? Looks like the guillotine wins – off with your head is about as quick as it gets – you hear the blade coming down towards you for perhaps a tenth of a second and then suddenly, you’re a head without a body – done, finished, kaput. You’ve gone to Valhalla, heaven, hell, the happy hunting grounds – whatever you believe in – and you go quickly.
Death by 1,000 naked ladies.
Firing Squad.
@ragingloli . . . awww. that makes you quite the little soldier.
@Seek_Kolinahr It’s deadly too. It is also not a controlled substance. A close friend who was a closet addict O.D.‘d and died from it (he worked as a perfusionist). I had it during a gi scope and it was blissful.
Probably lethal injection. I would imagine that is probably the most painless.
Morphine overdose or carbon monoxide. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.
If it got to that point, I am not sure it would matter how.
That’s a hard one to answer seriously (as in, not with an attempt at humor). Studies show that the guillotine does not result in immediate death and lethal injection may be incredibly painful. I definitely wouldn’t choose the electric chair or hanging. I supposed I have to go with firing squad – with a blindfold, please.
I’m with @Symbeline on the Guillotine. If I’m going to be executed, I want some retching going on. Blood fountain followed by a jauntily bouncing head. (Think, miniture golf course.) My fortune to whoever guesses correctly: resting on left ear, right ear, face, back of head or (best of ALL) standing on my neck.
What a trip if death is not immediate and the last thing your mind records is it’s own roll down the runway.
Carbon monoxide poisonong.
Smothered by a woman’s massive boobs. Hehe. That was a joke, Seriously I’d want to be taken out by Firing Squad.
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