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talljasperman's avatar

How can I expand my family in case of a loss of my loved ones?

Asked by talljasperman (21744points) February 16th, 2014

My family is whittling down and I depend on my mom for emotional support. What do I do when the last family member passes on? Will I have nothing left? What do I do? I have two uncles and an aunt who are in crisis that I can’t depend on, and my sisters aren’t on speaking terms with me.

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11 Answers

hearkat's avatar

My friends are more like family to me than my relatives – except for my son, of course.
Are there places where you could meet others, like support groups or something?

talljasperman's avatar

@hearkat Fluther and Answerbag…I don’t feel comfortable outside. Maybe my future wife is here.

janbb's avatar

I agree with @hearkat; my friends IRL are as much my family as my blood relatives. You need to find a way to get out and meet some. Do you have a case worker who can connect you with some groups?

hearkat's avatar

@talljasperman – But I mean opportunities to meet people face-to-faceā€¦ I don’t know your whole story, but I know you have some challenges that make it difficult for you in society. Do you have a case manager? Can they perhaps direct you to groups where you could meet people who deal with similar challenges and discuss some coping strategies? Are there websites more specialized than AB or Fluther that are geared toward support and interactions with others that can relate to your experiences?

Honestly, I see your questions but often don’t answer because I don’t know what to say. Partly because the health care and mental health service programs seem to be structured very differently here in the US than where you are in Canada. Here, we have programs to help people who want to work find jobs that are suited to their abilities. I have patients who reside in homes where the residents are grouped based on their personalities and needs, so that they can interact more easily than they might with random placements.

You have the internet and all its resources at your fingertips. I see you ask for help, but it really may be time for you to be your own best friend and take the initiative and advocate for yourself in your locality than asking random people around the world wide web. Search the websites for Canada and your Province and City and see what services are available for those who have special needs. You could even write emails to the people who run those departments in your government and ask for assistance, since it seems that you are not getting the help you deserve.

talljasperman's avatar

@janbb once I went to a hot dog roast once, I don’t blend in well. I meet more pizza guys/girls than other people. Some times I love being alone, but not always.

Cnewcomer's avatar

If your biological family means a lot to you then you may want to overcome the barrier that is keeping you from being on speaking terms with your sisters. But that is something you must decide for yourself and depending on how big of a barrier that is, it may take sometime to overcome it.

Either way your biological family aren’t the only people you can depend on. A lot of people depend on friends. Just remember that friendships can take time to build. Others depend on the communities that they interact with. So your church or the neighborhood where you live can provide you with support.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Have you been in a Group session with your case worker? Sometimes people with like issues can help and support one another.

GloPro's avatar

It’s a tough spot. Don’t quit. Keep putting yourself out there. Recognize every beautiful moment, and keep your chin up! “If you build it, they will come.” Believe that.

LornaLove's avatar

I am kind of in that boat. Every one I loved is now gone through death and other changes. I guess you got to get out there and join groups where there are like minded people, or shared interests. Friends that understand you can really replace lost loved ones.

Another way is to perhaps become helpful to the community in some way. In this way you feel valued and cared about as a little more important than just breathing in and out each day.

glacial's avatar

Except for parents, having people in your life to “emotionally support” you usually comes after a long period of investment, in which you have shown that you can emotionally support them. It is unrealistic for you to expect to receive what you are not prepared to give of yourself. Try the suggestions given by others above – these are great ideas.

dxs's avatar

You could find people like you who are your age to become friends with.

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