General Question

MarcoDemarco's avatar

Care to throw tomatoes at my content marketing?

Asked by MarcoDemarco (221points) February 22nd, 2014

I’ve been trying to get my little content marketing / copywriting service website going, but I haven’t been able to get a lot of feedback on the articles.

Anyone care to read my latest article and tell me what they think. Feel free to be blunt, but try to add some good ol’ constructive criticism too.

My article has to do wiht the Godfather (yes, Don Corleone), and it’s a short read:

Please lemme know what you think =)

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11 Answers

CWOTUS's avatar

You’re making an analogy between yourself / your services and The Godfather? Sure. How could that possibly be misinterpreted?

Why not include another famous Italian, one who claimed to make the trains run on time? Il Duce was pretty famous in his day, and a lot of people supported him, too. (Not so much risk of a copyright violation there, either.)

Personally, I think you’d be better off with a Wizard of Oz reference. And you won’t run the extremely high risk of offending your ethnic Italian readership, either.

But I would also strongly recommend that you look into the way that you seem to have opened yourself to a copyright infringement lawsuit, too. Fortunately for you, it will probably just start with a cease and desist letter from the studio attorneys when your unlicensed use of the image is discovered, so that won’t cost you anything except the page itself, since everything on it refers to the book and the movie.

Any way that you do this, you need to have permission to use images from movies. With books you’re allowed a bit more leeway, unless you start quoting them directly for your own commercial purposes.

Kardamom's avatar

I didn’t care for the Godfather analogy either. I don’t see The Godfather (he and his family/friends were gangsters) as a positive in any way. Quite the opposite. I see The Godfather as a dangerous criminal. You don’t want your potential clients to associate you with violence or criminality.

MarcoDemarco's avatar

Thank you for the feedback guys. So far I’ve gotten some mixed reviews and don’t know which way to turn.

I didn’t know I couldn’t use a picture I took from the movie without permission, especially since I’m not selling it. I’ll have to come up with my own.

I’m pretty sure you can use quotes and mention the book in articles. All great writers do it. Content marketers do it all the time.

The Godfather was a man who understood that to get things from people, you have to first give. The Godfather, in the book and the movie, was a person who could get things “done” for you.

And that’s how content marketing works. You help your readers with a problem they’re having, give them perspective, show them real-world examples, and, over time, they trust your judgment, your expertise. Some of them will give you their business.

That’s kind of the analogy I was going for with the GF. He was a guy who understood where helping people could get him.

I’m not sure the Wizard of Oz would work the same. But, if the message isn’t coming through than maybe I’ll have to get rid of the article.

Kardamom's avatar

@MarcoDemarco The problem with the Godfather analogy (even though he got stuff done for other people) is the fact that he is a criminal. He got things done, illegally. You never want to associate yourself with being a criminal.

You should also learn more about both Plagiarism and Copyright Infringement. You don’t want to be involved with either of those things either.

ragingloli's avatar

There is also the obvious Mafia connection.
Sure they help you in the beginning. But then they squeeze you dry, and if you do not pay up, they break your legs and burn down your shop.
That is the first thing that came to my mind, and you really do not want to evoke that sort of imagery in your potential customers.

MarcoDemarco's avatar

Thanks again for the feedback everybody.

I was thinking that people would sort of not associate my article or content marketing with criminal activity. Yes, the GF was a mobster, but we were all rooting for him and Michael in the movie, weren’t we?

That being said, I’ll take everyone’s comments into consideration. Also, if you read the article (I hope you did), and want to comment on anything else please feel free. I’d appreciate it.

Thanks again.

Cruiser's avatar

You asked for constructive criticism and I would not bank a lot on your content marketing / copywriting service website when you can’t even ask a question without spelling typo’s. ( wiht )

funkdaddy's avatar

I don’t mind The Godfather as a hook, being a little controversial isn’t a bad thing if you explain how it ties in with your point. I don’t know if that connection was made very strongly here. I understand this was meant to tie it together

That’s what content marketing is all about.

I believe this is just too generic to really hook anyone into your premise. It almost needs to be a surprise, or even something simple along the lines of

Vito would have made a great content marketer (or retailer) in today’s world. He understood you need to give a little to gather someone’s attention and loyalty. Then, if your goals align, they will return the favor.

That’s a quickie. You can do better.

Other thoughts

- You probably shouldn’t start a new paragraph after every sentence. Short paragraphs are easily digestible but a new paragraph is generally perceived as a new thought. If your thoughts are jumping around that quickly you can either split the article into several so you can dive a bit deeper, or simplify. You can of course break the convention, but it should be intentional and for effect.
– You have good ideas, and good examples to show your points for the most part. My one suggestion would be to use examples close to your target market. Find companies they are familiar with and admire.
– The writing just doesn’t feel like it’s there yet. The informal tone is good, but it doesn’t feel concise and tight. Some well known marketing experts (Seth Godin comes to mind) don’t pull any punches and their tone is informal, but their online writing promises not to waste any of your time. If a sentence has made it in there, it’s intentional and serves a purpose.

The thoughts and ideas are there, just clarify and simplify where you can. Keep working it until it feels polished.

Good luck with your business, I hope it’s everything you want it to be.

antimatter's avatar

The Godfather thing sucks…

MarcoDemarco's avatar

@funkdaddy – Your feedback has been the most valuable so far (I think you’re one of the few who read the darn thing lol).

If I can return the favor, let me know (see, giving works).

I will definitely polish things up a bit, especially with the transition you pointed out.

I’m not on Godin’s level, but you should have seen how bad my writing was a year ago lol. I’m excited about my slow-and-steady progress. Your feedback helped me a ton. I’ll definitely keep it in mind for my next post.

I want to thank everyone else for their feedback, too. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to wipe some of these tomatoes off and keep working.

DanPatterson's avatar

Always looking for great content writers. Stop on by my website and upload a resume so I have you on file. Thank you and keep up the great work. Chicago Web Design Company

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