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laura98's avatar

Why is my friend so mean and copies me?

Asked by laura98 (191points) February 22nd, 2014

So I have been friends with her for about 3 years. She was alright for the first portion of our friendship, but the she started to become really mean/apathetic. It started out with her yelling at me for everything I said. I would literally walk up to her and say ” hey, how was your weekend?” and she’d snap at me.

tried to blow that off and then she started copying everything I would do. For most of my life I had always had a somewhat ” scene” style and always loved darker colors and my favorite bands were usually under the alternative rock genre. Well I got my haircut somewhat ” scene” style and she kept telling me how she wanted it to. She tried to tell me that her favorite color was black, when she loved pink all of her. Also, one of my favorite bands is My Chemical Romance and all of the sudden she started to tell me how much she loved them and how she listened to them all the time and

I was playing a couple songs by them and she told me they were horrible and she didn’t even know who they were by. Also, she recently started liking All Time Low who I’ve listened to for the longest time and she suddenly started loving them, but didn’t know the song I was playing one day and called it shitty. Also, she didn’t even know who the lead singer was.

Another thing is that she had a crush on my boyfriend while we were going out and told me that ” she always liked him first and I stole him.” After we broke up they talked all the time and one day she just kept ranting on about there conversations so I quietly told her to not mention him around me and she freaked out at me and didn’t talk to me all day.

Also, I dyed my hair one day and she was over. I have really short curly hair and she told me how ugly I looked and that I looked like a man. She always tells me to stop embarrassing her when we’re at school in the morning and she makes fun of me and talks about me all the time. One time she actually hit me because I wouldn’t stop singing when she was over my house.

One time I actually got so sick of everything I told her it’d be best if we didn’t associate and she told me I brought her down anyway and that she talked to about me all the time. She didn’t even want to fix things and I asked her for an example and she couldn’t even give one. The thing is I have no on else and I don’t want to be alone.

I have to beg her to do things with me because half the time she just tells me she doesn’t want to. I’m socially awkward/depressed/ and have major anxiety and I have trouble making friends. I have no idea what to do, but I’m tired of her treating me this way. I haven’t even mentioned half of it.

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7 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

I’m sorry but I have no motivation to wade through that wall of text. What you can do is finish a high school diploma and get a job… Not every thing in the world is about you. I would say that you have too much free time, Is there/their any sports that you can join? You will be healthier and more attractive when you are in shape and dating and life will be a lot easier.

susanc's avatar

Another way of saying what @talljasperman tried to say (above) is that you have lots of other things to think about than this not very good friend. Of course you’re going to get a high school diploma and get a job. But meanwhile, you’re doing interesting things, choosing interesting music, choosing interesting clothes, choosing interesting ways to do to your hair, forming your style. This is like the work of an artist. It’s serious work, and you’re doing well with it. Your un-friend is struggling to figure out how to do it but she’s walking in your shadow and that hurts her because – just like you – she wants to be someone in her own right.
You need to forgive her for being young. She can’t help that. You’re a little bit more mature, you’re more creative, you’re not mean. You should be proud of yourself. But you don’t need to take care of a disloyal friend. Let go. Just let go.

AshLeigh's avatar

You don’t own music. You don’t own hairstyles, colors or any stereotype you want to abide by. Have a nice day.

trailsillustrated's avatar

TLDR but it’s jealousy. plain and simple. Not the first time it will happen. Learn to deal.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

It is so hard, feeling isolated, I know. I have been there, and so has my daughter. It boils down to where you are shopping for friends.
When my daughter was two, something quite distrbing happened which frightened and pset s both. Since she was so young, it scarred her, and made her unable to make efforts to make friends. When she is at school, she closes herself off. Last summer I let her enroll in a summer volunteer program. She is only twelve, so I had to be involved some.
She thrived there. It is something which she loves, and all the others there care about the same things. She made lots of friends. Being winter now, the program is between sessions. She is feeling kind of lost, but now that she had that experience, she knows it is worth the struggle to reach out.
I share this story with you so you can understand that I know your pain, your emptiness, and I can empathize with you. Trust my advice. This girl is not your friend, and being around her will never improve for you. You will be miserable all the time you spend with her. Just let that be dead. You need to shop in new places for friendship, and visiting someplace once or twice will not help you. Volunteering time is a great way to tackle lots of issues. It feels good to be involved with worthwhile projects. It improves how you feel about yourself. It gives you a chance to seek out new faces and personalities. I don’t know what is available in your area, or what your personal passions are. Maybe you don’t know yet either. Check around a few different places. There are so many places looking for volunteers. You don’t have to limit yourself to just homeless shelter or hospital. Museums, political campains, zoos, rehabilitation centers including for veterans some places you might consider. There are many more. Some cities and towns have art workshops for handicapped people.
Find a place where getting involved will fulfill YOU, and as you blossom in your new environment, people will be drawn to you. You will have people asking for your phone number, go shopping together, or other things. When that happens, don’t let yourself fall into the old trap of wondering what their real motive is. Go with it, and enjoy being liked.
Good luck.

Darth_Algar's avatar

You are not as unique as you may think you are.

XOIIO's avatar

Sigh, when did yahoo answers start directly pointless teen drama here?

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