General Question

Whattodo's avatar

What should a woman consider before asking her parents or best friend to be in the delivery room when the baby is born?

Asked by Whattodo (101points) June 30th, 2008

Has anyone done this? What do you wish you’d known before you did it?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

marinelife's avatar

This is a very personal decision that would be a big enthusiastic yes for some and an “ewww, no” for others.

I think you should think about how you feel when you experience pain or illness. Do you find the presence of those people you are considering inviting to be in the birthing room comforting or would you rather be alone to deal with it?

What are your personal feelings about having a chance to bond as a nuclear family before adding others such as family of origin or friends? This is a special event unmatched in your lives as a couple.

Would the people you are considering honor your boundaries around that?

dragonflyfaith's avatar

Do they have the same views on pain control as you do? If not they might discourage you from your personal goal or try to talk you out of what you want to do.

How comfortable are you around them? Do they have a quality that you find annoying? You don’t want someone who is too loud and chatty while you’re laboring or someone that has a history of being annoying in a stressful setting. They need to be able to stay quiet and supportive when you need them to be.

Good luck!

thebeadholder's avatar

Do you really want all those people around when you are about to give birth? I personally had family and friends in the room till the contractions really started to kick in, then I kicked them all out (except for the hubby)! So…you can have them all there but maybe let them know that you may want (and need) them to leave at some point.

shilolo's avatar

Speaking as a man who has been through one delivery already (with another in the coming months), I can say that there is no way I would want my in-laws in the room during birth, nor would my wife. Like Seth Rogan in Knocked Up, I would have thrown a fit if they tried to enter the room. No way, no how!

jlm11f's avatar

@ shilolo – interesting link for Knocked Up you have there ;)

shilolo's avatar

Oops, thanks PnL. I guess that was a remnant from my last answer about peroxide and wounds. I fixed the link, just in time.

lilakess's avatar

I would consider getting a doula (a person you hire to help you through the labor). Mine really helped me have the natural childbirth I wanted. That way my husband could do what he wanted but I had someone there who could really help and there was no baggage.

scamp's avatar

I agree with dragonflyfaith

SuperMouse's avatar

You should consider that when you are having a baby all modesty goes out the window. You are in pain (at least until the epidural if that is how you decide to go), you are stressed out, and you are dealing with something that nothing can really prepare you for – not even the best birthing class. Not even having given birth before, because every labor and delivery is different.

I didn’t let anyone in the delivery room except for my husband, the nurses, and the doctor. The families got to see the babies very quickly after the arrival, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Lee_27's avatar

I would definetly consider the fact that these people are going to see EVERYTHING. LOL from my experience my mom was there with me and when she saw everything she said “I didn’t know they shaved u down there first” LOL it was so funny.

tia29's avatar

It was supposed to be just my husband and I, but my forceful mom came in while I in my second hour of painful pushing to ” get things started.” She then begin to talk and nag and piss me off. I tried to have her kicked out, but my nurse told me to use my anger and push. It worked, but the next baby I’ll call her after I deliver.

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