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LornaLove's avatar

Are you good at looking after you?

Asked by LornaLove (9192points) February 26th, 2014

If you are feeling sad, anxious, upset or just unwell, how do you look after yourself?

Do you nurture yourself and if so in which ways? Could you give examples? I guess these could be called coping skills. Some people are taught them by their parents. Some are not.

When you are hurting how do you deal with you? The same goes for anxious or angry. Do you have a keen sense of self-awareness and an ability to take care of your emotional needs?

The more detail the better. I need coping skills!

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19 Answers

cookieman's avatar

I am astoundingly bad at caring for myself. Which is probably why no one ever thinks to care for me. I set no example, display no needs. As my wife has said, “You’re always the rock. I wouldn’t know what to do if you weren’t”.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I need coping skills too. But here’s what I do:

When I’m sad I indulge myself in my hobby: gaming. I choose my best game in the game library and just sit in front of the computer for hours. You can tell I’m sad when I play games excessively.
When I’m angry I tend to keep the most horrible face possible and try to avoid people because I can get angrier near them. I choose a quite place and sit there until I cool down.
I can’t cope with anxiety though.

talljasperman's avatar

I’m relearning how to food shop.

LornaLove's avatar

@Mimishu1995 I suffer horrendous anxiety, in my quest to find something anything that works I have tried a few things. Like This. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea but thought I’d share it. I’m lucky I do have someone to listen to how I’m feeling which helps. I wish though, I had inner resources to draw on. I think CBT works but it is difficult.

dxs's avatar

I am pretty proud of my abilities to take care of myself physically. But I can’t deal with myself mentally/emotionally. Almost every moment of every day I get anxiety and frustration from how much I hate my physique. I don’t know why I’m so concerned about my physical appearance. It’s my worst flaw. But I always look at everyone else with normal bodies and wish I was like that. I am not as “destructive” to myself as I used to be, however. But most hours of the day I am not content inside, though I have definitely learned to cope better. I realize that I’m hard on myself.
Also, I don’t fit in with the society I’m in, so I don’t know too many people. I’m not standoffish, I’m just interested in things that most people don’t care about. I haven’t watched TV in years, don’t play video games, and rarely watch movies. I told this to someone once and he responded by asking “What do you do with your life then?!” So much for liking the outdoors and non-electronic things!
Anyways, that’s enough ventilation from me for tonight.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@LornaLove When I’m anxious I tend to mess everything up. Any usual solution like taking a deep breath or saying positive things is of no use to me, since I just think about the negative that could happen.
By the way what is CBT? I came across a NSFW term with the same abbreviation months ago and that’s really gross. Don’t tell me you’re referring to that…

LornaLove's avatar

@Mimishu1995 CBT

I am doubt the other CBT would help! It might relax some though!

Mimishu1995's avatar

@LornaLove Oh, so that’s it? That’s a new term for me.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’m not good at looking out for me. I happen to be the rock in my family, cookieman. It does suck at times. I’m trying to do better.
@LornaLove Wipes brow. I was so hoping that wasn’t a NSFW term.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I thought I’m the only one who think that… 0_o

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Oh god, another perve, just like me.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe That’s why I added you :D

zenvelo's avatar

I’m a lot better at it than I used to be. It took a lot of work in therapy to be able to love myself enough to care for myself.

ucme's avatar

Absolutely I am, there’s only one of me & by Zeus, i’m worth fighting for.

GloPro's avatar

Nope. I have a bad habit of trying to control everything. When I feel bad about something I can’t control I will sometimes create something to justify my bad feelings. Like going out, getting smash-faced drunk, gambling alone and having a one-night stand. Then I feel justified in feeling like a loser.
I’m getting much better, though. I’ve traded those habits for the gym and cooking. Nice offsets, actually, because stress eating would be bad if I wasn’t in the gym twice a day.
I’ve also found channeling myself into search and rescue is a great way to be around positive influences. Giving back without expectations of receiving has it’s own reward.

janbb's avatar

I am getting much better at it than I was. A great deal has been thrown at me in the last few years and there have been times when I didn’t think I could make it. My Ex took care of most of my practical needs but few of my emotional needs. I have had to learn many new skills and learn to live alone and trust my judgment.

A few things help me center myself when I get anxious. One is to have a Plan B; “If this doesn’t work out this way, what can I do instead…?” Another is to talk to myself and try to recognize the distortions in my thinking that are making me feel so bad. Therapy and friends have helped me develop this skill even though I can’t always use it. I am getting better at dealing with things that trigger my going into a black hole; part of this is recognizing what traumas from the past the current situation is bringing up

And for me, having a wide circle of friends and family to connect with – even though some live at a distance – is essential. I put a lot of effort into developing and maintaining meaningful connections with people..

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yes, I’m good at taking care of myself and everyone around me, family-wise. I’m a problem-solver and I do it well. I hate pills, so I find natural methods to help.

When I feel anxious, which is often, I take a bubble bath, drink hot tea, read a book, play with my dogs/ birds, exercise, something to distract myself from the issues I’m stressing over.

josie's avatar

I better be. Otherwise who else will? And even if they did, what if they got tired of it and quit?

snowberry's avatar

Physicallly, I am good and bad by turns. I often forget to drink enough water, take my supplements, etc. However, I find if I can create a good habit pattern, I often am successful. For me, it’s all about doing the same thing the same way every day. When I do it, my body works well. When I get lazy, my body lets me know it.

As for being kind to myself on an emotional, spiritual or psychological level, when things get difficult, I pray for those around me, for protection, and that God would help me keep my attitude right.

Growing up, I had the reputation of being mentally ill (but I never was, it was a label others put on me). Some of the best advice I’ve ever had was to give up being a drama queen. Over the years, through a tremendous amount of deep personal work, prayer, and introspection, people sometimes tell me I’m the most emotionally level person they’ve ever met. That comes as a surprise to me, but it’s delightful to hear.

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