What can I do to turn my life around? Did you start your life after 30?

I had this at 40, and I took the opportunity to travel the US from coast to coast and at least visit Canada and Mexico briefly. I got to see the Grand Canyon, Hawaii and Niagara Falls. I wish I could have maintained the momentum, but instead I got involved in my first serious relationship and, 10 years later, I’m boring but committed. (sigh)

All it really takes for adventure is time, a car, and enough money for a couple of tanks of gas.

The 30s are the best time in life! You’ll still have the body of a young person – most 30-somethings are healthy, energetic, and haven’t experienced any age-related wear-and-tear – but you’ll gain the respect due to an adult. Sometime during that decade, you finish “baking”; you move beyond the kid that you were and become the grown-up you’re meant to be. But, you’re far from “overcooked”!

Can’t really help here, I was lucky enough to find someone in my early 20’s who was interested in many of the same things I am and willing to tolerate me for the long haul. So, other that a minor career change (staying in the same field) at about 31 and then starting my own business (again in the same field) at 39 I have pretty much cruised along taking things as they came.
I will tell you that now, approaching 60 we are both ready for something different in the way of a livelihood, and a location change, and pretty much anything to get out of this 30+ year rut.

In the year of my 30th birthday and went out to see the world, under the guise of finding work. I found some work, but more importantly I found myself. I had no responsibility to anyone except myself, and had only a vague idea of what I wanted to do with my life. If I had not done that, I would probably have missed out on some of the most exciting, fun and/or adventurous times I have experienced.

Go for it!

I feel like I began my life after birth. The reasons are my childhood was heavenly, my adolescence full of romance and mischief, in my twenties I traveled to Niagra Falls, the Grand Canyon, Ontario, and British Columbia. I lived in northern Colorado for six years, my daughter was born there and now I’m pushing thirty. In my forties I got divorced = would you call that living? then remarried at forty two. Since then, life has been much more boring and predictable. And often quite sad. All I can do is just hope that the rest of it that’s left will have some semblance of excitement. I might have to make some of my own excitement. Or at least , fun for petesake. I’m getting tired now. It sucks.
Start traveling.

The best thing I can say to anyone is set goals. Set goals of desired income, desired lifestyle, desired place to live, desired S/O if you do not have one yet. I did that when I graduated college, and I found myself self-employed soon after graduating in a field I had little experience in. That was a slow road to travel as it took years to gain the experience I needed to succeed. Also my work ethic sucked. I made it all work and after 16 years I was in my second marriage, new baby and similar to you I was unfulfilled. Fate threw an opportunity I never expected and looking back I passed up 2–3 opportunities that were in hindsight golden opportunities….so I took a chance on the new job. It was a smart move because working for a company I learned things I did not know about business and sales and soon was kicking some ass at sales and my own rear-end by working and working hard.

After working there for 14 years the old owner rewarded my hard work by selling me the company. But what kept my wheels on track were the goals I set and attained and re-set along the way. Now my goals are almost all focused on retirement 11 years from now. Keep setting those goals and you will keep moving forward.

One of the wondrous things about life is you can turn it around and restart it any time.

After wandering through my teens and twenties, I got sober at age 30. That was a complete restart in many ways.

And I went through a major restart at age 50 by getting out of an abusive marriage.

So figure out what dissatisfies you with your life at present, or what you feel you are missing, and stop doing what you don’t like, and start doing what will make you happy.

@Cruiser “The best thing I can say to anyone is set goals.”

I couldn’t agree more. Until my existence got taken over by my mother’s illness and her house renovations, I always had a Laundry List for Life (I refused to call it a “bucket list”; too morbid). I used to achieve all sorts of meaningful things, both large and small. Maybe I’ll get back to that someday.

@SadieMartinPaul My avatar is one of my goals to get a ‘68 Camaro parked in my garage.

You feel zero emotion? Not even an existential fear of being a failure who will never have a career? If you aren’t bothered, what advice do you want? Nothing obligates you to do anything in particular.

@bolwerk I feel no passion but I know intellectually that I want to accomplish something.

@savings45678: why don’t you volunteer and see if you fall into something? The worst that will happen is you’ll like it!

I can but i’m also looking for employment. At this point I feel guilty if im doing something fun and not looking for job.

oh yes! My life truly started only when I was around 36, I found a great career and made pots of money. Now I am 50 and having lost it all, I am going to do it a second time around hopefully.

@LornaLove how did you lose your money?

@savings45678 I was diagnosed as Bipolar in 2009 and never really recovered as such. I lived off my savings and investments for 5 years until they ran out. At the time I was financing my own home, a bmw and all sorts of things. Money ran out I’m afraid.Anyway, that was me, not you, so will not happen to you right! I am now studying Holistic Healing in the UK. (I also moved countries and kind of threw my life down the toilet in the country I lived).

I will be covering CBT, Hypnosis, Nutrition, Stress Management at Practitioner level. Or, at least that is the plan. BP can be tough so it’s rocky! At least I have a plan. :)

That’s great. I always wanted to live in the UK or at least abroad. Here in the US there is constant cultural pressure to live up your twenties; you’re expected to drink and party. Then supposedly at 30 years old you should have your life together and the partying should come to a halt. I think that you should enjoy your life but I shouldn’t have to make out with other girls and shake my butt on the floor to do it.

@LornaLove I’m glad you were able to find a whole new career path despite your Bipolar condition. How did you make your money the first time?

Seems to me I’ve remade my life over and over as events required me to. I never knew everything I’d be getting into when I signed up for the stuff I signed up for. Sometimes I got to be the villain in other people’s dramas and that was upsetting, but it made me mad, and that made me determined.
Do stuff. The stuff you do will create situations you can’t imagine. Wring everything you can out of all new circumstances and learn learn learn. In the end, you die. Now that’s a big deal.

Here’s a book recommendation for you:

“Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza

@savings45678 That’s just in America? Really? You made me laugh! I think there’s so much truth to what you said. lol

savings:

I have one piece of advice for you. Many people live their lives and never act on this, and regret it at the end. Many people go 20, 30 years and don’t act on it, and regret that they wasted all that time. If YOU don’t act on it, you will be asking yourself this very same question when you are turning 50 years old/why you didn’t do this.

Pursue what you love.

At age 35 years old I had restarted my life over ,after an 11 year loveless marriage .
I took aptitude,interest,personality tests, and so on, to find out my capabilities etc
I upgraded to enable me to enter College and raise my children.
Although I did not finish College, it was enough to get me into Government jobs that sustained the next ten years.
After the economy tanked and all of us lost our positions due to Government restructuring I moved to a small Town and worked as a store clerk for the next 17 years!
In those years I was able to get my own apartment and took on various Community Positions and ran as a Candidate for Council and Mayor a few years later.
Both were eye opening experiences and I may try again in four years?
Now I am retired and have more time to do the things that evaded me in all those years of working jobs to make ends meet and pay down the debts.
At age 65 years old I am now free to choose options that were not afforded me when I was younger.
I have learned from mistakes and wrong people in my life experiences.
Now I am writing a book or screen play about it.
At around 40 years of age people tend to go the opposite way of their first 30 or forty years.
Hence the single person usually settles down and the married one tends to divorce.
( not always but more often than not).
Good Luck in reevaluating what is missing in your life now and what you must do to find your happiness.