Social Question

janbb's avatar

Couch or hotel room?

Asked by janbb (51303points) April 2nd, 2014

Will be staying the city one night after the seder and am trying to decide whether to stay at my brother’s or book a hotel. A hotel will be costly and I will be going back to the room late; although cousins said they could drop me off. My brother invited me to sleep at their house but that would be on a living room couch. In addition to the savings, there would be people around but the seder is likely to last later than I want to be up. It would be friendlier though. I am an insomniac and have little chance of sleep on a couch unless I take an aid. Will make up my own mind, of course, but curious for some opinions. Thanks.

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31 Answers

canidmajor's avatar

I am as likely to not sleep well one night away be it a couch or a hotel room, so I would probably opt for the couch if I really enjoyed the group. I would also like the idea of seeing these folks in the AM.

janbb's avatar

@canidmajor Yes, that is a factor in both places for me too although tossing and turning in a double bed is more comfortable than on a couch.

And – I enjoy the group but the evening goes on too long….

zenvelo's avatar

Hotel is better all around, especially the next morning. You get to get up as early or as late as you want; not obliged to be quiet if you are early or get disturbed if you want to sleep in.

Plus, a bed would be a lot more comfy than a couch.

flutherother's avatar

A hotel for me. It would feel much more relaxed and will give you a much better chance of a good night’s rest.

johnpowell's avatar

If you can afford it I would stay in the hotel.

Some benefits:
1. If you can’t sleep you don’t have to worry about waking people up if you want to watch some Fresh Prince on Nickelodeon at 2am.
2. Don’t have to nag to get the wifi password
3. On a couch people will probably be getting up and roaming once you finally get yourself into a comfortable sleep.
4. No guilt if you rub one off in the shower.
5. You might not like what they make for breakfast at your brothers.

jca's avatar

I would pick the hotel – privacy, sleep, a little time of peace and quiet, like an oasis.

Berserker's avatar

I would also pick the hotel. At least if you can’t sleep, you can do whatever else you want in there and not be afraid to bother people.

jca's avatar

@canidmajor brings up a good point about the cameraderie in the morning but you can always take yourself back to the house in the morning to enjoy their company, if you so desire.

Cruiser's avatar

IMO it would be a one night of the year adventure. Sleep on the couch and take the money you saved on the hotel room and go get a massage the next day….you will have earned it.

Seek's avatar


Are you driving back to your house the day after the seder?

If that’s the case, take the hotel, and get some sleep. We don’t want a too-tired penguin driving home.

janbb's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr No – I’ll take the train in and out.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Life is short. I’d spend as much time as I could with family.

Take the couch this time. If you visit again for a longer burst, do the hotel then.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

If you can afford it, I vote for hotel. There really is such a thing as too much time with loved ones. Staying at a hotel gives you some privacy and control over your own time. Ooh…and you get your own bathroom, and you control the TV.

Happy Pesach!

flip86's avatar

Hotel. I hate sleeping on couches.

Book a cheap one.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

By “the city,” do you mean New York City?

creative1's avatar

What are the chances that you will be able to catch up on your sleep when you get home, if you are able to catch up on sleep I would then take the couch and the savings and then get all the needed sleep when I get home and in my own bed. Have fun either way

augustlan's avatar

I always prefer a hotel to staying in someone’s home, even if said home offered privacy and a plushy bed. In this specific case, I’d definitely go to a hotel.

janbb's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake Yes, NYC.

I think I’ll look into some hotel prices and that may determine it.

@creative1 Good point. If I leave my dog in for boarding the night I get back, I’ll be able to catch up on sleep.

hearkat's avatar

It’ll be too late to catch the train back to Long Branch? That way you can nap on the train home and you’ll be refreshed for the short drive from the station to your home. That’s what I’d be inclined to do. Otherwise you might find a cheaper alternative to a hotel on one of those websites where people rent out their apartments:,, etc.

janbb's avatar

I want to be in the city on Tuesday and it will be late. I have considered that option of course.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

After weighing the information and knowing a small amount about hotels in NYC, personally, I would opt for the couch. Hotels there are exorbitantly expensive. It’s only for one night. Leave Frodo in the boarding kennel for one more night and sleep in your own bed to catch up when you get home.

ibstubro's avatar

Given the option, I would normally always opt for the hotel. However, if it’s NYC I’m sure I’d bite the bullet and stay free. Take a good book and make sure you have an unobtrusive reading light (or use the sleep aid).

hearkat's avatar

Oh, I didn’t realize you had planned to stay in town the next day – sorry if I missed that, Last year we did two long weekends – one in Manhattan and one in Philly – which we could only afford to do because those apartment rentals are so much cheaper than hotels. It felt wired staying over when we live so close, but it really allowed us to have more fun by not dealing with the commute. Take a look at those sites and see if there’s something near your cousin’s place. Since a lot of schools are making up snow days during the spring holidays, you might be in luck!

JLeslie's avatar

With my sister I would usually choose to stay with her, in fact last time I stayed with her we both slept on the couch together! I could not even do that with my husband. With her we both slept soundly toe to head.

However, everyone being there late would be a negative, but getting back to the hotel very late might mean that turning in and relaxing will be even later. Plus, being dependent on someone else for a ride.

More and more I like staying in a hotel better than staying with someone. I like the privacy, I like doing whatever the hell I want. I like setting the thermostat where I want. I even have taken to getting hotel suites when it is not too cost prohibitive if I am with my husband so we can be in separate rooms if I want.

Only you can decide obviously. Is your brother easy going and a sound sleeper? One thing with my sister is she is a very light sleeper. I will lie in bed/couch for an hour in the morning to not disturb her until she wakes. My mom gets up so much earlier than her that when she stays my sister, my sister is always annoyed, because my mom is up and making noise and wakes her up before her usual time.

I’d probably stay with my sib. The dinner is likely to last late, and being able to just change into my jammie’s right there sounds good to me. Especially since it is just one night.

Afos22's avatar

Remember, the price is always negotiable at a hotel/motel. If you don’t stay, they make no money. Don’t spend more than you have to.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Hotel for me. Beyond the issue of comfortable sleep, if I don’t get time to myself, to decompress, I turn into an absolute prick.

jca's avatar

@JLeslie brought up a good point. I, too, am a light sleeper. On a couch, if someone woke up early to go to the bathroom or make coffee, it would wake me up no matter how late I went to bed. Then I’d be wide awake and tired the whole day. I don’t prefer that. I would gladly stay with the family if I could be in a finished basement, maybe, where the couch was in a room by itself, or if the couch were in a guest room, but if it were out in the open, no thank you.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I would opt for the hotel because it would be less disruptive to your brother and his family and would allow you the privacy to lounge around as you please. No tidying up the place, fighting for the bathroom, etc. I can fall asleep standing up in a subway car, but if I did suffer from insomnia, it would be nice to be able to sit up, flick on the tube and watch Godzilla terrorize Tokyo at the appropriate volume.

JLeslie's avatar

@jca I was actually asking about her brother being a light sleeper, but you bring up a good point about @janbb possibly being a light sleeper also.

hearkat's avatar

I am a light sleeper, and am bothered by noises from the hall or the room next door in a hotel, too. I have a noise App in my phone that I play every night to drown out noises in and outside the house, and it helps me when I’m sleeping away from home, as well. The phone can be put on its charger under the pillow, if Jan opts for the couch, so as not to bother others.

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