General Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

How do you process sadness?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (30553points) April 25th, 2014

Do you think about your heavy emotions, or do you fight for solutions to whatever brought on the negative feelings?

What do you do when you’re sad?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

29 Answers

Unbroken's avatar

Generally I go into denial and anger cycles. Not healthy so I’m staying tuned and following this one for some answers .

Thank you for asking @Hawaii_Jake

whitenoise's avatar

With me those feelings seem to be independent. They are not always directly related with sad events that happen.

They may be triggered by some sad event, but the feelings I treat and experience as a seperate thing. In general, when the event has passed, I try to fight the feelings. Sometimes by conciously thinking of better, nicer things. By looking for companionship. Or by going to bed early and having some physical exercise. Sex helps as well. (The one with someone else, I mean.)

In cases I exerience a sad event, then I am not hindered by sadness. It feels fitting in these occasions and I just accept it and – in a strange way – enjoy them as an indication that I am alive and allowed ro feel as humans do.

Hope this makes sense to you.

Berserker's avatar

I do not know what sad is. There is only anger. Not trying to be all epic, I speak the truth, as I repress my sadness and transform it into something else. If you do not believe then flag, I don’t care. :) /happy

whitenoise's avatar

That in itself is a sad statement, @Symbeline.

If you cannot feel sadness over the unavoidable hurt that some people go through, then how do you reach acceptance? Sadness is a natural emotion for us to experience every now and then.

Berserker's avatar

How do I what? How do I anything? Let me know, if you know.

GloPro's avatar

Destructively. Food, alcohol, gambling, sex. I rarely accept negative emotions because I distract myself. I numb it.

I do have the ability to channel it into healthy things like the gym. There have been times I’ve gone a couple times a day. It is not my natural drive, but it’s what I would prefer to do.

If it’s summer my motorcycle on a windy road is very therapeutic.

JLeslie's avatar

The last two days I cried a lot. I was pretty out of control yesterday and when my husband asked me what he could do to help, I sobbed and said, “I don’t want to feel better.” When I am really said I have at least a few days like that. I think it is an instinct of mine as part of the mourning process. A couple minutes after he asked me that a ton of anger came out of me, which I know is part of the process too. By the afternoon I could feel myself unable to hold onto the anger at such an intense rate. I naturally started to try and reframe the whole situation. It’s acceptance I guess. Accepting I cannot control everything that happens. I don’t totally accept what did happen, just trying to get over the control aspect.

Little bits of sadness I usually can rebound pretty easily. I might spend a little time thinking about it and then move on to some happy thing and refocus.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Depends on the cause, and how serious the cause is.

If the cause is something I understand, and it’s not serious, I just find myself unwilling to talk. Then I’m back to normal, very quickly. And if it’s serious, I will need more time alone, and sometime I’m unable to do anything. Sometimes the sadness can last for days.

If the cause is something I can’t understand and serious, I will experience the five states of grief. Firstly I will play the event repeatedly in my mind to find out the reason (though I know I can never explain it). Then I will experience the second state: trying to solve the problem and seeking help. If that fails, I will experience the sadness state: I keep comparing the past and the present, question the very reason for my existence and get inside my shell. The sadness can be accompanied by mourning as well. The sadness will gradually turn into anger. I blame the possible cause, blame the possible people who cause the problem, blame everything. Gradually, I come to accept the reality, though the hatred will still go with me, and when I see those possible people, the uneasy feeling of hatred still overcome me.

johnpowell's avatar

I don’t get sad. My life has been filled with death so I am pretty much numb to that now. I have been evitcted a few times too so that doesn’t bug me. I just work through it like I always have. No sadness, I just accept the shit and try to move on.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Here is an example for one of my bad time.

hug_of_war's avatar

I try to journal. Something about naming what’s bothering me is very cathartic. If I’m sad enough even journalng can be too mch effort.

So I turn to food, which is my only friend. I’m all too aware this isn’t healthy but I’m stuck in a cycle of eating good for breakfast and lunch and falling apart at dinner, when I’m home and much more likely to be sad. Thus why I keep gaining weight despite the appearance of eating healthy.

All the healthy ways of processing sadness aren’t nearly as satisying.

ucme's avatar

Soak it up & quickly move on.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

It’s gotten very hard to work up a good sad anymore. I feel empathy towards others and even get inner shivers when I see someone get hurt.
But am not saddened. When relatives die I am happy for them. Hey, they won, right?! They beat the game.
Of course I am of the firm belief that their spirit/energy/mana will continue on to the next adventure.
So life for me is more about different degrees of glad as opposed to any sad.

Stinley's avatar

I try to stay positive. I’ve been through depressions and I’ve found that acting happy keeps me happy. I will let myself think about the issue, feel sad, regretful, angry, upset. I think about how i could do thing differently next time, I try turning the event around and seeing it from others’ point of view. Then I leave it there. Waste of time and our short lives to dwell on the bad stuff

janbb's avatar

I talk to friends online and off. I schedule small get togethers and keep busy as I can. I sleep if I can; sometimes with help. And I almost cry a lot of the time but rarely actually cry. I wade through it and fight with it and sink in it until things improve a bit. Can you tell I’m in one of those periods now?

turtlesandbox's avatar

Sleep. Lots of sleep.

hearkat's avatar

It’s been several years since I experienced the heavy emotions I faced for the first forty years of my life. My chronic depression had me very moody and often overcome with sadness from no known source. Not knowing the source made it hard to process. Ultimately, I found the source: grief for the childhood I never got to have, PTSD from the abuse I suffered at such a young age, and guilt for bad choices I had made.

Since I untangled and processed those complex emotions and the snowball effect they’d had on my life, my emotions no longer control me. Now when I’m sad, it doesn’t take me long to figure out the source and to work through the feelings and to process the root causes of any emotional reactions that do not seem appropriate to the circumstances. I generally do this by writing out my feelings and reading it over, then writing my reaction and response to that, and repeating until I get a sense of closure.

Cruiser's avatar

Depends on the source of the sadness. Deaths are one thing, a breakup with a S/O or the loss of a missed opportunity is another and I stopped getting sad over the Cubs losing another ball game a long time ago.

Usually I don’t fight it or try to change it. I like to let it run it’s course that way I can release that sadness from my inner energy and then feel better about it.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I think I have a healthy mentality. I am rarely sad or blue. If someone hurts me or someone I love, I get angry (and then I get even. Ha-ha. Just kidding). If I am sad because someone I love is sick or physically hurt, I throw myself into finding a solution. I don’t cry over spilt milk – like lost opportunities. A person could make themselves crazy doing that. So, my formula is; solve it, forget it, or kick somebody’s ass.

Coloma's avatar

I have utilized healthy as well as less than healthy coping strategies.
This year has been a killer and yep, I have turned to escapism more. A few drinks, comfort foods, movies. Nothing over the top but I certainly am not feeling like going for a 3 mile run and eating a carrot stick and hard boiled egg for dinner these days. lol

I am paying attention and am pretty damn self aware but also being kind to myself.
Many others would have blown their brains out in my circumstance, losing ones home, work, pets, life savings, so, all in all, I think I have coped remarkably well all things considered.

Winter_Pariah's avatar

I found a way to ignore it as well as the rest of my emotions. Can’t afford to stop/pause and stagnate.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

I wad it up and toss it out with the rest of the garbage.

Blondesjon's avatar

I crush the feelings into a small, bitter little pill and wash it down with alcohol.

talljasperman's avatar

I buy name brand cola, and order out, then phone my mom and tell her everything.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

I’m rotflol @Blondesjon

What a grand bumper sticker and/or T-Shirt!

crush the feelings into a small, bitter little pill and wash it down with alcohol.”

chewhorse's avatar

August 14, 1991.. the last day I was sad.. Since then I take what ever comes as another experience. I always hope for the best but will concede to accepting less.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther